Floodgates
by eorocks
Summary: Once the floodgates are opened, there's no where to go. What happens when Elliot and Olivia break their own rules?
1. Chapter 1

_Hi everyone! Here is a new story I started, and I'm happy you're here reading it. Let me know your thoughts!_

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia looked across the table at her partner and smiled. Despite being an Irishman, sometimes he couldn't hold his liquor. She had agreed to go out for a drink with him after another long week, and they'd met up with Fin, Munch and Casey. Fin had left after one drink, claiming he had plans, and Olivia didn't press him because she was worried that he'd actually tell her where he was going. Fin kept his private life under wraps for the most part, and Olivia always suspected she should be happy about that.

She focused her attention back on Elliot. Right now, he was telling a really bad joke, and he was the only one laughing. Elliot knocked her leg under the table. "Liv. You don't think that's funny?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No one thinks it's funny."

Elliot leaned across the table slightly, a big smile still pasted on his face. "C'mon. You're my partner. You're supposed to have my back."

"OK. You're hilarious." Olivia rewarded him with a big smile, and he leaned back in his chair, giving her a goofy look.

She saw the look on his face, trying to figure out what was on his mind. She gave up, figuring he was just a little more drunk than usual, and shook her head. "I think it's time for me to go home." She stood up and grabbed her jacket.

"Liv. It's only 8 o'clock." Casey complained, placing a hand on her arm. "Just stay for one more."

"Sorry Casey. I'm done. It's been a long week already and I'm tired." She pulled on her jacket. "Thank God tomorrow is Friday."

Casey made a pouty face and Elliot stood up.

"OK. I'm ready."

Olivia furrowed her brow, looking at Elliot. "I didn't say _you_ had to go."

"I'm going to walk you home." He said in a matter of fact tone. Like that had been the plan all along.

Olivia cocked her head slightly. "Elliot. I don't need you to walk me home." She smiled. "I'm armed, remember? And besides, I'm more sober than you."

Elliot pulled on his black leather jacket. "Stop being so stubborn."

Olivia started to object again, but Elliot snagged her arm and she realized he wasn't going to give up. Elliot always felt it was his job to protect her, even though she had the same training as he did, and he knew she was perfectly capable of defending herself. She shook her head, wondering how drunk he really was. She only lived 12 blocks from the bar, and she figured she could get a cab for him when they got there. That way, she didn't have to worry about him trying to drive home.

"OK El." She relented, giving him a big smile. "I'm not going to fight you."

Elliot watched as she turned back towards Munch and Casey, thinking about the smile she'd given him. It always hit him squarely in the chest when she smiled just for him. When she smiled like that, it lit her whole face and he was always amazed at how it transformed her.

"You ready?"

He realized she was looking at him and he nodded. "Yep."

The both turned towards the door and walked out of the bar, turning in the direction of Olivia's apartment and heading down the sidewalk. They walked along, their strides falling into their natural rhythm like they usually did. Their shoulders bumped as they walked. The cold air was refreshing after the stale air in the bar. As they walked, Olivia realized that maybe Elliot wasn't as drunk as she thought. He seemed to be keeping pace with her, and he wasn't rambling like he did the few times she'd seen him get really drunk.

They walked in silence as they often did. Sometimes it seemed like just being near each other was enough, and they didn't usually resort to idle chit-chat. Olivia burrowed her hands into the pockets of her jacket and shivered slightly.

"Cold?" Elliot asked.

"A little but I'll survive. It's just a few more blocks."

Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her body into his. Olivia tensed slightly, surprised at the contact, and her stride faltered a little. Elliot caught her with the arm that was securely wrapped around her and they kept walking. Confusion swarmed through her, trying to dissect what he was thinking. She was trying to make light of it; write it off as something normal friends would do. But she and Elliot had made an art form out of building a wall between them. There was a long list of rules when it came to their partnership and their friendship, and one of the main rules was that they didn't touch.

 _But God, she wanted to._

She felt herself melt into him slightly before she came to her senses. He was married…off limits. No matter how much she wanted him, she had to keep reminding herself of that fact. She pulled away, grabbing his arm and pushing him away from her, trying not to make it awkward.

"Next thing I know you'll be giving me your jacket." She said.

Elliot was slightly disappointed that she had shrugged him off, but he knew that he'd broken one of the rules between them. He could tell he had shaken her slightly by the way she'd pushed him away but had quickly covered it with a joke. The alcohol in his system had made him a little bold…and he had just wanted to touch her. In his slightly inebriated state, his willpower was low, and he'd been unable to resist the urge that he'd been burying deep down for years. Years of staring at her from across their desks…years of catching just a whiff of shampoo when she stood a little closer than usual…years of looks passing between them. He wanted her. He had for a long time.

But wanting her was wrong. He had a wife at home. A wife that accused him of being in love with his partner…of having an affair. And he denied it vehemently. Because truthfully, he had never touched Olivia. At least not in the way she was accusing him of.

"Are you going to Casey's party on Saturday night?" she asked, and Elliot looked back over at her.

"What?" He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't realized she was talking to him.

She bumped his shoulder again. "Casey's party. Are you going?"

"Nah. I don't like Halloween parties."

"Didn't you see the email? It's an Un-Halloween party. No costumes. That's the point." She gave him a sideways glance and a quick smile. "Besides, Halloween is Friday night, so the kids will go trick-or-treating that night." She was sure Elliot had some nice neighborhood get together to go to with his wife, and that Kathy wouldn't want to come to a party full of cops and lawyers. "You're not going to come, are you?"

"Nah. Probably not."

She felt a small surge of disappointment. She liked spending time outside of work with Elliot; sometimes it gave her a small peek at another side of him. But like she did so many times before, she pushed it down. Those feelings had no place. Besides, if he did come to the party, he'd have Kathy in tow and that would completely ruin her evening.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Elliot kept stealing glances at her, but she was focused on the sidewalk ahead.

"So, you're going to go?"

Olivia shrugged. "Yeah. I promised Casey I would." She looked over at him.

"Are you bringing anyone with you?" he asked. He stared straight ahead when he asked her, hoping she'd say no. And knowing he had no right to hope for that. But he was jealous and possessive when it came to her. He knew he didn't have the right to be, but he hated the thought of her going out with someone else.

 _She's mine_.

The thought popped into his head. One he'd understood in an abstract manner for years now. Every time he watched her go out on a date with someone else. Every time he'd watched her went home and he wondered what she was doing that night…and he'd been forced to go home to his wife.

"El." She said, sighing.

"Never mind." He cut her off, not wanting to hear the answer.

They got to Olivia's apartment building and she took a step up onto the first step and turned towards him, noticing she was almost eye to eye with him now. She leaned over slightly, a small smile on her face, and peered into his eyes, trying to assess how drunk he really was. "Do I need to call a cab for you?" She joked, even though she was partly serious.

"Nah. I'm going to sleep in the cribs tonight. I'll just walk from here."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're sleeping in the cribs? What is it this time?" She was immediately sorry she asked, because she saw a strange look cross his face, and she knew that he must be fighting with Kathy.

"El. I'm sorry." She rested a hand on top of his shoulder. "I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."

He looked back and forth between her eyes, seeing concern for him. She was still leaning towards him slightly and he was a little overwhelmed by the look in her beautiful brown eyes, her intoxicating scent, and the proximity of her body to his. "Liv." He said, his voice choked.

Before she knew what was happening, Elliot had snaked an arm around the back of her head and was kissing her. He kissed her softly at first, his lips barely touching hers. When she didn't resist, he tangled his fingers in her hair and opened her mouth with his, sucking at her bottom lip, deepening the kiss.

All rational thought left Olivia's brain. _Elliot's kissing me_.

She had been a passive participant up to this point, but the feel of his mouth against hers sparked a long hidden desire in her, and she started kissing him back. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip and he met her tongue with his, kissing her with renewed passion. She moved her body closer to his, running her hand around the back of his head. She heard him moan against her mouth and she felt a rush of heat flush through her body…followed quickly by a thread of guilt.

 _God no_.

She pulled away quickly…Elliot losing his grip on her as she pushed against his shoulders. "No." she whispered and she saw the look of confusion on Elliot's face.

"Liv." Elliot said, his voice still thick and low. He took a step towards her again but she held up her hands.

 _Oh my God, what have I done?_

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. God. Elliot." She took a step back, trying to distance herself from him. "I'm sorry."

Elliot's couldn't wrap his mind around what was happening. He'd kissed Olivia…and she had kissed him back. The only thought that had been running through his mind was that kissing her felt so right. It was everything he'd imagined. But then she was pushing him away and she was apologizing. He looked up at her and saw she had gone up another step, her back still to the door.

"Liv. Wait."

"You're married." She choked out. She put a hand over her mouth and he could see she was still shaking her head, as if the was trying to erase what had just happened. "I shouldn't have…" Her voice trailed off as she heard a noise behind her. Someone was coming out of the building and she turned slightly, snagging the door. She gave him one last look, distress written on her face. "I'm sorry."

She ducked through the door and was gone.

Elliot stood rooted in place, trying to wrap his mind around everything that had happened in just the last few minutes. He sat down on the steps, his head in his hands. He'd let his control slip and for one amazing minute, he was glad that he had. And then he wasn't.

There had been a time that he thought that if he could just kiss her…just once…and get it out of his system, then things would be OK. This unquenchable desire to have her would perhaps ease. But now he laughed at himself for his naiveté. He'd only ignited the fire, remembering the deep pull in his groin with just one kiss…one touch of her lips against his.

And now he wondered what damage he had done. He knew she was upstairs, beating herself up for her role in this little scene. When she had no reason to. This was all on him.

 _But she had kissed him back_. He couldn't deny that. She had moved in closer to his body. She had wrapped her hand around his head. She had teased his mouth with her tongue. She wanted this too. For a long time now, he hadn't really doubted it. But having the actual confirmation now was something different. And it was a dangerous thing.

Because the fire was ignited now, and he didn't know if he had the power to control himself any longer. He considered going upstairs, but he was afraid now of what he would do. He couldn't get that kiss out of his mind, and rather than try to talk to her, he was afraid he would try to kiss her again. His control was weak tonight, and he wondered if he'd ever really get it back. He wondered if she felt the same way.

Ultimately, he stood up and headed towards the precinct. On the way, he thumbed open his phone and sent Kathy a message, letting her know that he wasn't coming home. Again.

When he was done sending that message, he found Olivia's number and dialed it. He knew she wouldn't answer, so he wasn't surprised when he got her voicemail. When her heard her message, he closed his eyes, pulling up a picture of her in his mind. When the phone beeped, he opened them again. He hesitated, knowing what he had to say.

"Liv. I'm sorry. I don't know why I kissed you but it's not your fault. It's mine. You don't need to apologize. I just…lost control. It won't happen again. I'm so sorry. Just…call me back please." The recording time ended and the call hung up.

He thought about what he said in his message. The truth was that he wasn't sorry. Not at all. He knew he should be, but his only regret was that she felt it was her fault. And if he knew Olivia, she was up in her apartment agonizing over what had happened.

It had also been a lie when he told her it wouldn't happen again. He knew he couldn't promise her that. Because he wanted to kiss her again. And so much more.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia shut her apartment door quickly and locked it, not sure whether Elliot was close behind her or not. She let out a huge sigh, and sagged against the door, her hands moving to her lips. They were still tingling from the kiss…and she let out a small moan as she thought about Elliot's lips on hers.

She hoped he was smart and didn't follow her up to her apartment. Because she wasn't sure what would happen if he pounded on her door in that instant. There was a really good chance that she would open the door, pull him inside, and kiss the hell out of him. There would be lips and teeth and tongue. There would be clothing quickly removed…and frantic sex against the wall…on the floor. God, anywhere. She just wanted…she wanted his hands on her. His mouth. She wanted him between her legs.

And that was so wrong.

She pushed herself off of the door and headed into the kitchen, taking off her gun and badge and lying them on the counter along with her cell phone. She dug under the sink until she found what she was looking for; a seldom used bottle of Scotch. She grabbed a glass, and quickly poured herself a drink, downing it before she could even think. She needed to shake this off. To get these thoughts out of her head.

She jumped when her phone started ringing, and she knew it was Elliot. Of course it was. There was no way she was going to answer it, because she couldn't trust herself not to tell him to come upstairs. She looked at it for a minute, until is stopped ringing, and she let out a sigh of relief.

She left the kitchen and headed for the bedroom. She stripped off her clothes and started a hot shower. She needed the soothing warmth to try to calm her thoughts. She stepped into the spray, bracing herself against the wall and dropping her head down. The hot water poured over her.

 _He's married_. He's your partner. He's your married partner. And your best friend.

She thought back to herself as a young college student, involved in another illicit affair. The man had been 10 years her senior…and married. She thought she'd been in love. And he had told her that he loved her too. But in reality, he just loved the sex. And the ego boost from having a young co-ed fall for him. She thought he'd leave his wife for her, but she was such a fool. When she made a scene, insisted that he make a choice, there was no contest. She'd been heartbroken. Another failed relationship; another man that had let her down.

 _What was wrong with her?_ She'd gone on lots of dates between then and now; she'd slept with lots of different men. She'd even had a few relationships. But in the end, she ended up falling in love with a married man. What did that say about her?

Had she flirted with him? Let him know how much she wanted him? She had always tried to be careful, but there was an undeniable chemistry between them. Maybe she had let things go too far.

She shook her head. No, she wasn't going to let this happen. She was going to forget about the kiss. Chalk it up to a drunken misstep. She would pretend like it never happened and they would go on as before, rules firmly in place. She would watch what she said; be professional at all times.

She stood up, her resolve renewed. Elliot probably wanted to forget the whole thing as well. He was probably calling her to tell her that it was a huge mistake and to remind her that he was married. That was good. They could both just pretend it never happened. She didn't even walk to talk about it.

She toweled off and put on her pajamas, and crawled into bed. Yes, she was just going to let it go. It never happened. She pulled the covers up and closed her eyes, taking a few deep breathes.

But her body couldn't forget. She wanted him more than ever now, and she ached for another kiss. Despite her best efforts, she knew she wouldn't be sleeping tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia exited the elevator at the precinct, dreading this morning. She knew she looked like hell. She thinks maybe she managed two hours of sleep, and not much of that was consecutive. Her mind kept going over and over the events of the previous night. She knew she was making a big deal out of it when she didn't really need to. It should be easy to forget about it and move on. It was just one lousy kiss. But two thoughts kept her awake all night. The first was that she didn't want to forget it. It wasn't one lousy kiss…she'd felt it down to her toes. And the second was that obviously Elliot had wanted it to happen too.

She hesitated a second before walking into the squad room, trying to collect her thoughts and make her expression neutral before she had to face Elliot. She knew he would already be at his desk. Not much of a commute when you sleep in the cribs. She took a deep breath, schooled her features, and walked into the squad room. The minute she entered, she saw Fin and Munch at their desks, and Elliot looked up from his. She kept her poker face in place.

"Hey." He said, nodding his head at her.

"Hey." She said, giving him a small smile before she hung her jacket on the coatrack and moved over to her desk. She dumped her stuff in her drawer and sat down, busying herself with the message slips on her desk.

"Benson." She heard John say her name, and she turned to look at him. He leaned towards her a little. "You should have stayed longer last night instead of going off with this character." He nodded his head towards Elliot. "Casey and I got into a drinking game with a couple of guys from homicide. Casey was kicking their asses. You should have seen her going toe-to-toe with them."

"That would have been fun to see." She said. "I wish I would have stayed." Part of her really did wish she had stayed. If she hadn't left early last night, she wouldn't be in the mess she was in right now. "I'll have to call Casey and see how she's doing today." She turned back to the paperwork on her desk, not looking up at Elliot.

She saw Elliot through her peripheral vision. He moved past her desk over to the coffeepot without stopping. She breathed a sigh of relief. However, that relief was short lived because as he passed by her desk on the way back, he stopped, leaning over and bracing both hands on her desk. She didn't have any option but to look up at him.

"Liv." He said. "Did you get my message last night?"

"Yes." She said. She looked over and saw Fin was watching her with interest. She gave him a small smile, as if to say nothing's going on here. Business as usual.

"Can we talk about it?"

Olivia shook her head. "There's nothing to talk about." She said. Her eyes flickered back to Fin and she saw he was still watching them. She let out a heavy sigh. There was always speculation about them and their relationship and it was wearing. She felt like everyone watched every little thing they did, trying to trip them up into revealing something when there was nothing to reveal.

Until now.

Her eyes flicked back up to Elliot's. He needed to drop this before everyone started whispering. "Just drop it." She said.

"But…"

"Just drop it!" She said quietly but tersely. There was no questioning her tone. She grabbed a file off her desk and stood up abruptly, knocking into him. She shot a look back over towards Fin and was pissed that he was still watching them. She looked over at Elliot and then walked quickly out of the squad room.

Elliot watched her walk out, itching to follow her. But she had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want to talk about last night and he knew there was no forcing her. She could be just as stubborn as he was and it was the reason they fought like champs. They would push each other, neither willing to give in or concede a point…until they eventually forgot what they were disagreeing about and their anger and frustration faded away.

The problem is, he had a feeling this wasn't going away. He'd spent a sleepless night thinking about that kiss…thinking about her body against his…letting it morph into one of the numerous fantasies he'd created over the years. But rather than give him pleasure like it usually did, it left him with an unforgiving hard-on and a sleepless night. Now that he'd kissed her for real, a dream wasn't going to cut it.

He let out a sound of frustration as he strode back to his desk. He sat down with a huff and rolled back up to his desk.

"You kids fighting again?" Munch asked, looking over his glasses at Elliot.

"Nah. Can't be." Said Fin. "Not those two." Fin leaned back in his chair. Stabler wasn't his favorite person, and sometimes he liked to poke the lion. "What'd you do now?"

"Butt out." Elliot growled. He wasn't in the mood.

"Wow, you must have really fucked up."

Elliot stood up, his anger flaring. "Shut the…"

Cragen walked out of his office and stood next to Elliot, effectively cutting him off. "Is there a problem here?"

Elliot looked at the Captain. He didn't say anything. He slammed his chair into his desk and stormed out of the squad room in the opposite direction Olivia had gone. He headed towards the cribs, eventually ending up in the locker room. He opened his locker, and then realized he didn't really need anything in there and slammed the door closed. He opened the door and slammed it closed again, taking satisfaction in the sound it made as it slammed shut.

He sat down hard on the bench, lost in thought, when Munch came to the door of the locker room.

"Stabler." He said, just leaning into the doorway.

"I don't need any more shit from you Munch. I'm not in the mood."

"Hey. I'm just a messenger."

Elliot turned to look at him, a question in his eyes.

"Your wife's downstairs."

Elliot groaned. _Perfect._

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia walked into the squad room, purposefully not looking towards Elliot's desk. She knew he would drop it now…he hadn't followed her and that was a good sign. He got it. He understood that they would not be talking about this. She looked up and saw Kathy Stabler standing between hers and Elliot's desk, talking to John.

Well, shit.

Kathy turned when she walked in and Olivia stopped.

"Hi Olivia." Kathy said with a smile.

Olivia was surprised with the greeting and the smile. She knew that she wasn't always Kathy's favorite person. Elliot had never said anything specific, but she was almost certain that her name had come up in fights between them. It's why she had worked hard to push him to go home at a reasonable time; to make an effort at home. She hadn't wanted to come in between him and his wife.

She _never_ wanted that.

"Hi Kathy." She said, giving her a small smile.

Kathy moved over towards her. "You guys have been so busy lately. How're you doing?"

Olivia almost disagreed with her, because actually, things had been pretty quiet. But then she remembered that Elliot had slept in the cribs last night, and she realized that she had left before him every night this week. For all she knew, he'd been sleeping there all week.

"Yeah. Um, I'm fine." She said. She didn't offer up anything else, and they stood there awkwardly for a moment.

"So, where's Elliot?" Kathy asked. But just as Olivia was about to tell her that she didn't know, Elliot walked into the squad room.

"Kathy." Elliot said as he walked up. "What are you doing here?" He looked at her and then briefly looked over at Olivia, a question in his eyes.

Olivia ignored him and sat down at her desk.

Kathy gave him a big smile. She held up a gym bag. "You've been so busy and you haven't been home so I thought I'd bring you some clean clothes. Plus, I just wanted to see you."

Elliot snagged her arm, not wanting to have this conversation in front of the squad. He didn't need everyone to hear the lies he told his wife. "Let's go upstairs."

He disappeared up the stairs with Kathy and Olivia let out a sigh through pursed lips. She scrubbed her hand over her face. This day couldn't go any slower.

Cragen came out of his office. "Liv. Got a victim over at Mercy. You and Elliot go."

Olivia stood up. "Um. Elliot's tied up. We'll go in just a few minutes." She didn't relish being alone with Elliot, but at least they would have a case they could focus on.

Fin stood up. "I'll go with ya' Liv. Munch has court anyway."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. Some days she really loved Fin. She nodded. "That OK Captain?"

"Fine with me." He handed the note to Fin and Olivia grabbed her jacket.

"Let's go." She hurried out of the squad room before Elliot could get back downstairs. With any luck, the case would keep them out of the squad room the rest of the day and she could avoid seeing Elliot completely. If she could just have a few days…just get through the weekend…then hopefully the awkwardness between them would pass and everything would be back to normal by Monday.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia got her wish, and they didn't finish up interviewing their victim and following up with some potential witnesses until late afternoon. Fin agreed to drop her at her apartment and she said goodbye and told him she would see him at Casey's party the following night.

She took the stairs and headed towards her apartment, and then stopped cold. Elliot was sitting on the floor outside of her door, but he stood up when he saw her. _Shit._ She considered turning around and just leaving him there, but he was a stubborn son of a bitch and she knew he would either follow her, or wait until she came back.

She walked towards him, setting her jaw. "What are you doing here Elliot?" There was a note of irritation in her voice.

"You've been avoiding me all day." He said, crossing his arms as he faced her.

Olivia stopped a few feet away from him. She didn't want to engage in conversation, so she simply recited the facts. "We had a rape victim. You were tied up. I took Fin."

"That's convenient. You should have waited for me."

"You were busy."

"You could have interrupted."

"Well, seems like you haven't seen your wife for a few days, so I thought I'd give you a few minutes." She put extra emphasis on the word wife. She was hoping he was feeling some of the guilt she was.

"You're _my_ partner. You should have waited for me."

Olivia rolled her eyes. She knew that's not what this was about, but she wasn't going to challenge him on it because she didn't want to get into the real issue.

"Whatever Elliot." She took another step towards him. "Now if you don't mind…" she motioned towards her door and pulled out her keys.

Elliot took a step towards her. "Liv."

Olivia shook her head. "No." She didn't know what he was going to say but she didn't want to hear it.

"I just want to talk to you." He said.

"Since when do we ever talk about anything?" she asked angrily. They had carefully avoided any real discussions about anything personal for years; keeping everything under wraps. Now was not the time to start. She pushed past him, trying to get to her door. "Go home Elliot. To your _wife_."

Elliot came up behind her and placed a hand on either side of her, bracing himself against the doorframe as Olivia tried to get the keys into the lock. His proximity unnerved her and she dropped her keys.

"Damn it!" She dropped her head, her hands on the door, trying to calm her nerves. He wasn't touching her…but she knew if she moved even an inch, he would be. She could feel his warm breath against her hair and she just needed him to back away from her. Her mind and her body were warring with each other. She wanted to melt back into his body…she wanted him to kiss her again…she wanted him to touch her. She let out a long slow breath.

"What do you want Elliot?" she said quietly, the fight in her gone. If she pushed her now, she'd fold.

"I just wanted to talk to you." He said quietly. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you last night." He stood up, backing away from her slightly and she let out the breath she'd been holding. She turned around, still looking at the floor. She didn't want to meet his eyes…not yet. She saw he was still very close, and she backed up against the door before looking up at him. When her eyes finally met his, her breath hitched slightly at the intensity she saw there.

She wanted to ask him why he had, but she was afraid of where that conversation would go. She didn't want to him to ask her why she had kissed him back.

He took a step towards her again, and now there was only a foot between them, and Olivia put her hand up to stop him in place. He looked back and forth between her eyes, trying to gauge her emotion right now. "Olivia. I don't regret it."

Olivia furrowed her brow and shook her head slightly. "Elliot." She whispered. "I told you I don't want to talk about this. It happened. It shouldn't have." Her eyes moved to his mouth and she felt a pang; she just wanted to grab him and kiss him. She clenched her hands at her sides, trying to focus on what he was saying.

"You know it was only a matter of time before one of us gave in." he said, drawing her attention back to the conversation.

She shook her head. "No. It was a mistake."

"Liv." He said. He took a step closer and reached for her cheek placing a hand there and caressing her cheek lightly.

She closed her eyes. "No." she whispered but she knew he didn't hear her as he leaned in, placing his lips against hers. He slipped his hand behind her head, tilting his head and opening her mouth with his. He pushed her body up against the door with his, but didn't press into her. His other hand fell to her waist as he kissed her gently…slowly. He sighed against her mouth, reveling in the way she tasted and the softness of her lips. He slid his hand up her side, splaying his hand against her ribcage.

Olivia reached up, snaking her hands around his neck, running one hand up the back of his neck and into his short hair. She teased his lips with her tongue and Elliot moaned quietly, meeting her tongue with his. He kissed her more passionately now, her head knocking against her door. He pressed his body into hers slightly and her breath caught in her throat.

Her eyes flew open and she pushed Elliot hard against his shoulders, forcing him to take a step back.

"Stop." She gasped. She held out her arm. "Just stop." She shook her head, not quite believing this had happened again…that she _let_ this happen again. What was _wrong_ with her?

Elliot closed the distance between them again and stared into her eyes intently. "Let me come in." he said, his voice thick.

Olivia looked at him with an incredulous look on her face. "Have you lost your mind?" she whispered. Her mind was reeling right now. Fighting with her body. If she listened to her body right now, she'd throw open the door and drag him into her apartment. But she couldn't let that happen…she didn't know what the hell he was thinking, but he had a wife…a family. And she had to protect that. Protect him. He didn't know what he was doing.

"Olivia." He reached for her again. And then almost as if he had read her mind, he said. "I know exactly what I'm doing." That was a lie but he knew he was done. His control around her was gone and he wanted her. Badly.

She slapped his hand away and then pushed him away with both hands on his shoulders. "Screw you Elliot. I can't believe you." She scooped up her keys. "We could have just forgotten about last night but no…" She was angry now. At him and at herself. She had a lot to say but mostly she just wanted to escape. To get away from him because she didn't completely trust herself. She turned and tried to get her keys in the lock. She needed to get inside.

"You kissed me back. You want this too." He said, his voice calm.

She turned around and looked at him as she opened the door. "Go home Elliot."


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm so glad people are enjoying this story. Just remember, like all of my stories, things get worse before they get better. Have patience. Thanks!_

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia escaped into her apartment, closing the door firmly behind her and slamming the lock home. She leaned against the door, distressed that this was the second time in two days she found herself in this situation.

She could hear Elliot on the other side of the door, and she knew he was probably struggling with what to do.

 _Let me come in._

Those words rung in her head. Because there was no question about what would have happened if she had agreed. He knew exactly what he was asking…

There was a part of her that couldn't believe it. Elliot was one of the most noble men she knew. His religion and his family were sacred. To break his vows was not something he would take lightly. Which means he had been thinking about it for a while. He had made a decision, and had finally had the courage to act on it. And if tonight was any indication, he wasn't going to give up until he got what he wanted.

She shivered slightly. She heard footsteps and put her ear to the door, glad to hear the footsteps were moving away from the door. She let out a sigh of relief that he was leaving.

 _Go home to your wife_.

He hoped he did. He needed to listen to her. He needed to stop this. She sighed again, and walked into her apartment, shrugging off her jacket and tossing it on the chair. She sunk down on the couch, burying her head in her hands.

She wondered if Elliot realized that by making this decision, he was asking her to be the other woman. Something she swore she'd never be…ever again.

She leaned back on the couch, laying her head back, looking at the ceiling. She thought about each of the kisses with Elliot. His lips against hers; she'd never been kissed like that. Her eyes slipped closed. He kissed her like he owned her…like he was the only one who ever knew her. The kiss had sent a flush of heat through her body. And that second kiss tonight, his hard body against hers ever so slightly. She wanted to feel all of him pressed against her...on her…in her. She had imagined making love with Elliot so many times before and in her mind, she imagined it would untamed…a little bit out of control…a fight for dominance. And if their kiss was any indication, she knew Elliot would play her body like an instrument…making her feel things no other man ever had. Her thighs clenched at the thought of it and she opened her eyes.

She had to stop this. The floodgates had been opened, but it was still early enough to slam then closed. She had to be accountable. The voice of reason.

Elliot obviously wasn't going to stop his pursuit of her. She couldn't let this happen. Because one day he would regret it…regret her. And then life as she knew it would be over. They wouldn't be able to be partners. They wouldn't be able to be friends.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot stormed in the door to the house, accidentally knocking a bowl of candy to the floor.

Kathy came out of the kitchen, a smile on her face as she wiped her hands on a dish towel. She gave him a smile. "Your home early." She said brightly as Elizabeth walked into the room. He looked at the two of them, Elizabeth dressed as an M & M, and a wave of guilt washed over him.

Kathy's smile faded and she must have seen the conflicted look on his face. "Everything OK?"

Elliot nodded. "Yeah. I just gotta…" he vaguely motioned upstairs and then started heading in that direction.

"OK, well dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes and the kids should start coming any time now." She called after him as he disappeared into the bedroom.

Elliot sat down on the bed and then flung himself backwards on the bed. He let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He was immediately accosted with a mental image of Olivia…the look on her face right before he kissed her…he could see the conflicted emotions in her face and her eyes. But she had kissed him back.

 _Let me come in._

He hadn't gone there expecting that. Hell, he hadn't even expected to kiss her again. He honestly just wanted to talk to her about the night before. He wanted to apologize and tell her that it wasn't her fault.

It wasn't her fault that she had such a big heart…that he found her amazing as he watched her do her job with such passion and conviction…her heart poured into every case and every victim. It wasn't her fault that she was smart and more than capable…that she had eclipsed him as a detective a long time ago. And it wasn't her fault that she was so goddamned gorgeous. Her eyes, her hair, her breasts, her ass. She was luscious curves everywhere and she was so fucking captivating. It wasn't her fault that he had fallen in love with her…all of her. And he would never survive it. He would never get over it.

 _Let me come in_.

He hadn't gone there expecting to make love to her, but he knows that if she had let him in, that's exactly what he would have done. And he knows that she would have let him. She would have done more than let him. He had felt her tremble slightly beneath him. He knew she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

But she was being the voice of reason. _Goddamn Saint Olivia_.

She was trying to save him, but what she didn't know was that he was already gone.

EOEOEOEOEO

It had been a hell of a night and an incredibly long day, and she had been looking forward to Casey's party. She had thought a lot about the events of the past two days, and she had ignored every call and text from Elliot. Blessedly, he had not shown up at her door again.

She had decided that if he did, she wasn't going to let him in. She needed to do the right thing here. She spent all day telling herself that she didn't really love him. She just thought she did. It was easy. He was an amazing cop; she'd learned everything from him. He made her what she was today. He was smart and strong. He was a fierce protector of everything he deemed worthy…his family, victims…her. She always felt safe with him. And to look at him…the man was beautiful. His eyes, his hard body, his sheer strength. It was hero worship really. Not love.

 _Keep telling yourself that Benson and maybe you'll start to believe it._

Now she was here at Casey's. She had agreed to go over a little early and help set up. She had been so happy to get out of her apartment. When she got there, she had found Casey and her co-hosts were already down in the party room of the building, getting the bar set up and the food ready to go. Most everything was done now, and she and Casey were currently sitting next to each other on two barstools. Olivia had already had two beers, intent on having fun tonight and on taking her mind off Elliot. Casey was drinking some horrible orange concoction they had made up for the party.

"I need to get laid." Olivia said and Casey nearly choked on her drink. She wasn't used to such a frank comment from her and she looked around quickly to see if anyone else had overheard their conversation. Thankfully, her friends Michele and Maya were across the room.

"Well…" said Casey, trying to decide if Olivia was serious or not. "There are going to be a lot of single guys here. You know Maya and Michele are both ADA's in homicide, and they've invited almost every cop and lawyer in their precincts. There has to be a couple good options.

Olivia let out a sigh. "Lawyers and cops." She had dated a lot of them. Maybe it was time to start fishing in a different pond…look at some other candidates. She took another swig of her beer.

"Is Elliot coming tonight?" Casey asked, sipping her drink.

"Why are you asking me?" she said, her tone a little sharper than she intended.

Casey look surprised. "Um. Because you two are usually attached at the hip." She took another sip, noticing Olivia's discomfort. "Are you two fighting again?"

"Something like that." Olivia said non-committedly. "And no, he's not coming."

"Hmm." Said Casey. She never knew what was going on with the two of them, but she knew they were close. But despite being good friends with both of them, and despite her incessant prying into Olivia's private life, she never got any information from them or about them.

Casey took another sip of her drink and looked over at Olivia, who was staring at the label on her beer bottle. "So, are you serious about getting laid tonight?"

"I don't know." She said, her voice sounding tired. "Maybe."

"Stand up." Casey said, hopping off her barstool.

"What?" Olivia said, momentarily confused.

"I want to see what you're wearing."

"Casey." Olivia groaned.

"Well. I mean you're gorgeous Liv, but you always dress kind of…well, like a cop."

"I am a cop."

"I know but it's like you don't _want_ men to notice you." Casey tugged at her arm, pulling her off the stool. "I mean, they notice you anyway, but why not show off the goods?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you sometimes. Are we in junior high? No one talks like that."

"Fine. Don't listen to me." She eyed Olivia's conservative blouse. "But you got the body Liv. Why not show it off a little?"

Olivia looked down at her jeans and her red blouse. "What do you suggest?"

Casey made a circle around Olivia. "Well, the jeans are fine, but you need a different shirt, and you need to lose those clunky boots and put on some spiky heels."

Olivia sat back down on the stool. "Well, I don't have any other clothes with me."

Casey grabbed her arm again. "But I do." Maya and Michele had walked back over and Casey told them they would be back in twenty minutes.

"This will be like junior high." Said Casey. "And I'm going to give you a makeover." She smiled at Olivia. "We'll find a man for you Benson." She took a sip of her drink and made a face. "This is really horrible." She set up down, and grabbed Olivia's arm, dragging her out of the party room and up to her apartment.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot had spent the day watching college football, trying to keep his mind off Olivia. But that hadn't stopped him from calling her and texting her multiple times. She hadn't answered a single message. He really hadn't expected that she would, but it still pissed him off.

"Who are you trying to get a hold of?" Kathy said, walking into the room as he slammed his phone down on the coffee table. "You've been on that phone all day."

Elliot was a little surprised. He hadn't realized that she was paying such close attention. She and the kids had been going about their business all day; a normal busy Saturday in the Stabler household, and he really hadn't been paying any attention.

"No one." He said.

Kathy gave him a look, and he wondered if she would challenge him. But she must have decided against it because she quickly changed the subject.

"You know we're going over to the Dawson's at 6."

Elliot groaned. "Are we really going over there?"

Kathy furrowed her brow. "We talked about it Elliot. Everyone's going to be there. They have stuff for the kids and a big bonfire and they're having food catered in. It will be fun. You didn't make it to one neighborhood party all summer. And now that it's November, this will be the last one."

"Fine. Fine." He said.

Kathy continued to stand and stare at him.

"I said I was going to go." He said, his tone clipped.

"Well, it's almost 530 and you haven't even showered today."

Elliot let out an irritated sound and stood up, grabbing his phone off the coffee table. "Fine. I'm going."

Kathy reached for his arm. "Elliot. I don't want to fight with you. Tell me what's going on."

Elliot looked down at her hand on his arm, and he felt like an ass because she didn't deserve any of his attitude. He let out a heavy sigh. "Nothing's going on. I just got into a fight with Olivia. I was being an ass and I owe her an apology and she's being stubborn and not answering."

Kathy smiled, and he knew her feelings were mixed about Olivia. But she was trying to be nice. "Oh. Well, you'll work it out."

She stood up on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. And now he was an even bigger asshole because while he'd lost the attitude, he'd just lied to his wife. He watched her walk into the kitchen and he shook his head, disgusted with himself. But that didn't stop him from thinking about Olivia as he headed upstairs to take a shower.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia and Casey came back down to the party just as guests were starting to arrive. Casey had insisted on giving her some ridiculously expensive heels she had, and she had to admit, she felt incredibly sexy in them. She had also made her turn in her red, long sleeved blouse for a satin and lace camisole; the satin a deep burgundy color offset by cream lace. She had tried to argue about wearing underwear as a shirt, but Casey had rolled her eyes and told her she needed to get out more.

As they walked into the party, Olivia felt a little self-conscious, but she snagged a beer right away and made a beeline for the only face she recognized – Munch. Leave it to him to be early, but she was thankful because at least she knew someone.

She stood and talked to Munch for a while until Fin showed up with his latest girlfriend on his arm. Then Lake showed up and few other people she knew from the precinct. She looked around and saw the party was in full swing. Drinks were flowing and the music was blasting from the speakers and she realized she had a pretty good buzz going.

She saw Casey talking to a group of people and one of the men in the group looked up and caught her eye, giving her a smile. He had a great smile, and dark eyes and dark hair. She gave him a smile back, and then turned back to the guys. But she'd lost track of the thread of the conversation and decided she needed another beer. She excused herself from the conversation, and headed towards the bar.

After she got her beer, she turned, and saw the dark haired guy with the great smile was standing right in front of her. "You move too quickly. I wanted to buy you a drink." He said.

"They're free." Olivia said, realizing too late that she had just shut him down. She sucked at flirting.

Apparently it didn't faze him. "I'm Andrew Nathanson." He said, holding out his hand.

She took it, shaking it lightly. "Olivia Benson."

"Nice to meet you Olivia."

She smiled back at him. "Nice to meet you too."

He hesitated for a second. "So…"

Olivia smiled, because she realized maybe he wasn't very good at this either.

"Do you care if we get away from these speakers so we can talk?" he asked. "I think I'd like to get to know you a little better Olivia."

She stared at his eyes, seeing flecks of green mixed in with the brown. Her eyes flickered down to his mouth, seeing a smile on his face. One that seemed genuine. She liked to think she was a pretty good judge of character, and he seemed like a nice guy. She gave him a big smile. "I'd like that."

He turned and made a motion as if to say "after you" and as she walked by him, he placed a hand lightly on the lower part of her back. They moved over to the other side of the room and towards a cluster of high top tables.

Casey caught her eye as she walked by, and she gave her a wink and a thumbs up. Olivia tapped Andrew on the arm and told him she would meet him in a minute. She walked over to where Casey was standing. "I guess you're telling me he's a good guy?"

Casey nodded. "Absolutely. I've met him a few times before. He's a friend of Mara's. He lost his wife a couple of years ago and he hasn't really dated much since. He wanted to get out and meet some people, so he agreed to come to the party."

"Thanks for the intel Casey." She said laughing. She hadn't expected a full biography.

She turned to head back towards Andrew. She saw him smile and wave her over and she hesitated a second. This was the right thing to do. She had to push Elliot from her mind. She couldn't let things with him go any farther than they already had. She had to help him do the right thing…to see that he had to let her go. For both of their sakes. Because they direction they were headed now could only end in heartache.


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia found that Andrew was really easy to talk to. He told her that he had definitely heard her name before, and that he had heard about all of the great work she and her partner had done. He didn't ask her about him, didn't mention the rumors, and didn't ask her if they were true. In fact, he really didn't seem that interested in talking about work at all and that was refreshing. Most of the time, when she dated lawyers and other cops, that was _all_ they wanted to discuss. So they talked a little bit about growing up in Manhattan, found they liked some of the same restaurants and movies, neither had a lot of interest in organized sports and that both rarely traveled, but wanted to.

Andrew had excused himself to go get them another drink, and Olivia turned to watch him walk away. She found herself starting at his ass, and then she quickly drew her eyes away, looking around the room. The party room was well set up, with a long bar on one side of the room and a few bar stools along it's length. There were a number of high top tables, some with chairs and some without. There were also a number of low tables with comfortable chairs and some small couches, grouped together so four to six people could gather around for a conversation. There was a large stone fireplace, adding a little warmth to the room. Someone had set up a few long tables along one wall, which were now full of food.

Olivia continued to lean against the table, scanning the room. She saw Casey, who must have noticed she was alone because she was making a beeline towards the table.

She rushed up, a beer in her hand. "You two seem to be hitting it off." She squeezed Olivia's arm. "Give me all the details." She said with a smile.

Olivia shook her head. "He's a nice guy. For once, someone that doesn't want to talk shop all night. It's been fun talking to him." She realized she'd been talking to Andrew for well over an hour now, and Elliot hadn't entered her mind once. Well, until now.

"So…" Casey said. "Is Andrew going to get lucky tonight?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You know, if anyone listened to your questions and comments tonight, they would never believe you're a successful lawyer and ADA."

"Hey, you're the one that said you wanted to get laid tonight." Casey said, a little louder than Olivia would have liked. She quickly looked around Casey to make sure Andrew wasn't already on his way back.

"Yeah, well." Olivia shrugged. "He's a nice guy. He's someone I could see going out with, so I'm not sure I want to fall into bed with him."

Casey furrowed her brow. "So you would sleep with him if he was an ass, but you won't because he's a nice guy? That doesn't make any sense."

"It's easier to have a one-night stand with a guy that's a little bit of an ass…someone I have no interest in seeing again. Because then it's easy to brush him off." She saw Casey still giving her a strange look. "But if it's someone I might want to go out with, well, I don't necessarily want to sleep with him on the first date. Have to keep him interested."

"Your logic fails me." She glanced over her shoulder and saw Andrew walking back towards them. "And for your information, he's interested." She looked over at Liv and then back at Andrew as he got closer. "Besides, he's gorgeous. I say go for it."

"We'll see." She said. Andrew reached them at that point, and she gave him a smile.

"Here you go." He said, handing her a beer. "Hi Casey."

"Hi." She looked over at Liv and raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, I have to go." She said, walking away and leaving them alone again.

"So…" Andrew said. "What were you two talking about?"

Olivia gave him a small smile. "Wouldn't you like to know." Her cheeks flushed slightly; she felt a little awkward trying to flirt.

Andrew reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned in more closely. "Yes, I think I would." He laughed.

She laughed uncomfortably, startled a little by his touch. Somehow the gesture seemed a little intimate. She thought about Elliot then. He'd made a flippant comment one time about how he was constantly wanting to tuck that hair behind her ear and she'd laughed, wishing he would.

She closed her eyes briefly, willing away the thought. She opened her eyes again and saw Andrew staring at her.

He had kept his hand on the end of her hair, and he played with it between his fingers. "I know men probably tell you this all the time." He said "But you're absolutely beautiful…" he stumbled over his words and Olivia thought his nervousness was endearing. Normally, she wasn't very comfortable with compliments, especially on her appearance, but this time she just gave him a small smile.

"Thank you."

He tipped his head a little towards hers, and his eyes drifted down to her mouth, and then back up to her eyes. She gave him a slight smile and leaned towards him, giving him the permission he was asking for. He seemed to breathe out a sigh of relief, and he pressed his lips against hers. It was soft and gentle…and he pulled back right away, seemingly content with just one kiss.

"So." he said "If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?" Olivia gave him a big smile and thought about her answer.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot pasted a smile on his face as he walked down the block with Kathy, Dickie and Liz. His heart really wasn't into going to this neighborhood party, but he had no valid reason to get out of it. As soon as he got there, he headed for a group of dads he knew, and snagged a beer, joining in on the conversation about the college football games that day and the NFL games tomorrow.

He tried to get involved in the conversation, but mostly he just followed along enough to nod his head every once in a while. In reality, he was thinking about Olivia and wondering how things were going at Casey's party. He hadn't really wanted to go to the party; that really wasn't his thing. But since the events of the past two days…he'd give anything to be there with her. He just needed to talk to her. If he could just get her to listen…

If he could get her to listen, what the hell was he going to say?

That he couldn't control himself around her anymore? His resolve was gone? That now that he had kissed her…the only thing he could think about was kissing her again? And again. That she was his…and always would be?

He swiped his hand over his face. He needed another beer.

"Hey, we're going to the open field next door and play some football." One of his neighbors was tossing a football in the air, and everyone was starting to move in that direction. He put a smile on his face and headed out to the field. He was happy to have the distraction. Maybe some physical exertion would take his mind off of Olivia.

…

It was a few hours later, and they were done with the games and had eaten dinner. The kids were around the bonfire, making s'mores and we're planning a game of Kick the Can now that the sun had gone down. Elliot was sitting in a chair, his neighbor Dan sitting next to him.

"So Elliot." Said Dan. "We haven't seen you for a while. I'm glad you could make it tonight."

Elliot smiled at him. He did genuinely like most of his neighbors and he did feel badly that Kathy carried most of the weight when it came to keeping up with family and friends. When they first moved into the neighborhood, he and Kathy had hung out a lot with Dan and his wife Darlene. "It's good to see you guys too."

"How's work going?"

Elliot shrugged his shoulders. He didn't really talk about work with these guys. It was rare for it to come up.

Dan leaned in a little closer. "Still have the same partner?" he said in a hushed tone.

Elliot gave him a surprised look. "What?" He could smell the beer on his breath.

"Your partner." He said, still speaking quietly. "Remember, we met her at the graduation party you had for Kathleen."

"Oh. Yeah. We're still partners." Elliot said, wondering where this conversation was going.

Dan leaned back, looking at him with a small smile on his face. "You're a lucky man. I don't know how you possibly concentrate at work." He wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, treading cautiously.

"C'mon. She's a gorgeous. And that body…" he let out a low whistle.

Elliot furrowed his brows. "She's my partner and an NYPD Detective. A little respect."

Dan slugged him in the arm. "Just saying man. You're a lucky SOB. If I had that to look at every day, I'd want to spend all my time at work too."

Elliot was about to respond when Dan heard someone yelling his name and he stood up to see what was needed. He watched him walk away and wondered about his comments. Obviously Kathy and Darlene had been talking; Kathy was probably always making excuses for him due to the hours he worked. He wondered if Kathy had ever voiced her concerns about Olivia to her. And the of course, Darlene would share all of that information with Dan.

He sighed heavily. He didn't know what Dan was insinuating, but he knew he was right when he pointed out that he was a lucky son of a bitch.

Elliot pulled out his phone and checked his messages, hoping to see a call or text from Olivia. As expected, there were none. He hesitated for a second before standing up. He looked over at Kathy, and saw her standing with a few of the other wives. He took in a deep breath and walked over.

Kathy looked up when he walked over and caught his eye. Her smile faded when she saw the expression on his face and his phone in his hand. She walked over to where he had stopped a few feet away.

"Really?" she asked. "We're having such a good time."

"Cragen just called." He lied. "I'm sorry." He said, and that part was true.

Kathy nodded slightly, used to the constant interruptions of their personal lives. "I know."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was having a good time. She hadn't been drinking too much, but had a nice buzz going on. Andrew hadn't tried to kiss her again, and she couldn't decide how she felt about that. The kiss had been brief; not enough to even judge if there was even any chemistry between them physically.

"Umm." Andrew said. "I think someone's trying to get your attention."

Olivia turned to look, and saw Fin waving at her, pointing to the small couch next to he and his date (girlfriend?).

"Is that your partner?" Andrew asked.

"No. But I work with him. He and Munch are partners." She pointed towards Munch, who was standing with another group of people across the room."

"I guess he wants us to come over there." He said.

Olivia looked at Fin and saw the impatient look on his face. "I guess so. Do you mind?"

Andrew shook his head. "Not at all. It would be good to meet some of your friends." He held his arm out as if to say after you, and rested his arm loosely around her waist as they walked.

Fin raised an eyebrow at her as they walked over, and Olivia wondered what was running through his mind. Fin was always suspicious of the relationship between her and Elliot, and he didn't like Elliot at all. So he was probably doing a little happy dance to see her with another guy.

"I thought you were going to ignore the rest of us all night long." Fin said as they walked up. "Who's your friend?"

Olivia smiled. She loved Fin. Always to the point. "This is Andrew." She turned to Andrew. "Andrew, this is Odafin Tutuola. Fin. He works at the precinct with me."

Fin just nodded. He leaned over next to the blonde sitting next to him in the couch, his hand resting on her bare knee where her short skirt had ridden up. "This is my girl Amber." He said. "Amber, this is Liv."

Andrew looked at her. "Liv?"

"It's just a nickname." In reality, she preferred that he call her Olivia.

'Grab a seat." Said Fin, pointing to the open couch across from them.

Olivia moved around the low table, setting her drink down, and sat down on the couch. Andrew sat down next to her, draping his arm on the back of the couch behind her. Olivia leaned in slightly and Andrew let his fingers trail along the bare skin of her shoulder.

Olivia had never met Amber before, and she had no idea if she had been Fin's girlfriend for one day or one year. But they all started talking and she could tell they must have been together for a while. It was fun to hear about her work as a substance abuse counselor and Olivia could see what drew Fin to her. She was sweet, but Olivia could also tell she was a lot of fun.

Fin excused himself for a few minutes and headed towards the bar, and Olivia saw him return with four shots of tequila.

She shook her head. "No way Fin. We are not going to start doing shots."

"C'mon Benson. Don't be like that." He handed a shot to her and to Andrew, and then to Amber. He held them up in a toast. "To friends."

EOEOEOEOEO

Eliot got to the city as quickly as he could. He found Casey's apartment building easily, but had to park a few blocks away. He looked at his watch and saw it was almost 11, and he knew the party would be in full swing. He assumed Olivia would be there; no way Casey was going to let her sneak out early.

The doorman let him in the building, and pointed him in the direction of the party room. Elliot could hear the music as he got a little closer, and it got even louder as a couple walked out the door, hands all over each other. He grabbed the door and poked his head inside, assessing the room before he entered. He noticed the lighting was low and the music was just as loud as he imagined.

He walked into the room, letting the door close behind him. From where he stood, he could see the bar off to the left, but his view of the rest of the room was blocked by what looked to be a small kitchen off to the right. His eyes went back to the bar, and he saw Casey standing at the end, talking to Munch and a few other people he didn't know. He didn't see Olivia with them. He headed for Casey and she looked up while she was talking, and saw him. He noticed she had a slightly startled look on her face and he thought she must have been surprised to see him.

"Hey Casey." He said.

"Elliot. I didn't think you were coming." She said.

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "Well, I changed my mind. Hope that's OK." He joked. His eyes scanned the group around him, and then moved around the room, looking at all of the faces. He couldn't see very far. It was dark and there were a lot of people. He remembered Olivia telling him that she was hosting the party with two of her friends and that probably accounted for all of the strange faces.

"Grab something from the bar." Casey said, trying to keep him distracted. When Elliot turned towards the bar to order a beer, her eyes moved over to the high top tables where Olivia and Andrew had been standing. She didn't see them, and was wondering if they had left. She couldn't imagine Olivia would have left without saying goodbye, but part of her was hoping they would. She didn't need a scene here at the party…and she knew that that despite their denial about a lack of attraction to each other, if Elliot saw Olivia with Andrew…there was going to be fireworks.

Elliot turned from the bar, a beer in his hand, and turned back to Casey and Munch. "So. Where's Liv?"


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey readers. Just a heads up that this story hadn't reached it's M rating…until now. So be warned. And PLEASE leave a review if you're enjoying this story (or not). Special shout out to my beta_ _ **writersrefinery**_ _because she had her work cut out for her with this chapter._

EOEOEOEO

"Where's Liv?"

Casey looked at Munch briefly and then back at Elliot. "I think she may have left."

Munch, oblivious to what was going on, chimed in. "I don't think so. I thought I saw her talking to Fin just a few minutes ago." He made a vague motion towards the inner part of the party room and Casey clenched her jaw. Casey was concerned about Elliot making a scene at her party, but there wasn't anything she could do to warn Olivia now.

Elliot gave Casey a strange look and then turned, scanning the crowd.

Casey put a hand on his arm. "Just leave her alone. She's having fun." She knew there was probably no chance in hell Elliot was going to listen to her; in fact, she may have just thrown fuel onto the fire. She never really knew what was going on between the two of them, but Olivia's comments earlier tonight made her believe that they weren't sleeping together. But she'd been around long enough to know that Elliot was going to throw a fit when he saw Olivia with another man.

Elliot furrowed his brow, and Casey let out a big sigh. Yep, she had just made it worse.

"Is she drunk?" he asked. She rarely got really drunk, but he hated it when she did. Especially if he wasn't there to watch her back.

Casey shook her head and was about to say something when Elliot looked away from her and back into the mass of people. He didn't wait for her to answer. He started walking through the mass of people to find her.

He heard her first. There was a quick break between songs, and he heard her laugh in that moment of silence. He would know it anywhere. He started moving in that direction, a big smile on his face, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. She was sitting across from Fin and some blonde, with some strange man's arm wrapped around her. She was laughing at something, her entire face lit up and as he watched, her hand moved over to his knee and she saw him whisper something in her ear, and then place a few kisses on her temple.

His rage was instantaneous. _What the fuck did she think she was doing_? He had been agonizing over what had happened between them for the past two days, and she was hooking up with some strange guy? He watched as the same asshole ran his fingers along her bare shoulder, running his fingers under the strap of some lacy tank. _What the hell was she wearing?_ Olivia didn't dress like that…

He didn't know who the asshole was, but he knew that he'd better get his hands off of her…now. He had come here to talk to Olivia…to tell her that he knew he had crossed a line but that he couldn't go back. She needed to tell this guy she had made mistake, and then she needed to leave with him. And that needed to happen now. Before he completely lost his shit.

EOEOEOEOEO

Andrew had his arm right arm resting on Olivia's shoulders and he was toying with the strap of her camisole. Olivia was leaning into him slightly, with her hand resting her hand lightly on his right knee. She was looking at Fin across from her, laughing at a story he was telling.

Andrew leaned in, whispering in her ear. "I love your laugh." He said. Olivia looked down for a moment, listening to what he was saying. Andrew placed a few small kisses on her temple.

"Ah shit." Fin said.

Olivia looked up, still laughing. She saw the look on Fin's face and she turned her head in the direction he was looking and saw Elliot on his way over towards them. Her smile faded quickly. "Shit." She said under her breath, quickly removing her hand from Andrew's knee and leaning away from him slightly, forcing his arm to drop from her shoulders.

Elliot stopped when he reached them, standing next to the low table, closer to Andrew and Amber. He nodded at Fin and then looked back over at Olivia. "Liv."

She was surprised to hear his voice sound reasonably calm, but she could see the tension in his jaw and in his posture, and she knew he was barely containing his anger. He was already overly possessive and jealous when it came to her, and she knew that seeing Andrew's arm around her and her hand on his knee would be enough to drive him over the edge. She saw Fin lean forward in his chair, watching Elliot.

"Who's your friend?" Elliot said, crossing his arms in front of him.

Olivia looked over at Andrew. He didn't know Elliot, and wouldn't be tuned into his aggressive stance, standing there like a coiled snake, ready to pounce at any provocation. She could tell he was getting ready to stand up and she put her hand on his leg, signaling for him to stay put. "This is Andrew." She kept her eyes glued on Elliot, watching for a reaction. "Andrew." Olivia continued. "This is my partner, Elliot."

Elliot glanced from Olivia to Andrew, and Andrew nodded his head at Elliot. He didn't understand what was going on but he could sense the tension.

Fin spoke up then. "This is my girlfriend Amber." Elliot glanced over at Amber, giving her a small, strained smile, and then back at Olivia.

"Do you want to join us?" asked Andrew and Olivia sucked in a breath, knowing Andrew was trying to be friendly, but wishing he would let her handle this.

"As cozy as this looks…no." His voice was dripping with sarcasm and Olivia tensed slightly. "Liv. I need to talk to you."

"Not right now." She said, knowing he wouldn't take her rejection well.

"Yes." He said shifting slightly. "Right now."

"Elliot. Either sit down and join us or go. I don't care which."

"Olivia." There was a warning in his voice. "We're leaving."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Liv." Elliot said. He took a step towards her, his arm outstretched, when Andrew stood up.

 _Shit._

"She said she doesn't want to leave with you." Andrew said, putting his arm out, stopping Elliot in place. Olivia sucked in a breath. She knew that he thought he was helping, and she felt horrible that he was caught in the middle of this.

"You need to back off. This doesn't involve you." Elliot said, narrowing his eyes at Andrew. He looked over at Olivia. "Let's go."

Olivia stood up, but Andrew put his arm back, stopping her in place. "She's not going with you."

Elliot shoved him backwards, and Andrew stumbled back slightly, but Olivia caught his shoulder, steadying him. She looked at Elliot, surprise on her face.

Fin was out of his chair now. "Hey man, not here." He took a step towards Elliot and now Andrew was moving towards him too and Olivia could see that Elliot was going to lose it. She pushed Andrew to the side and stepped in between Elliot, Andrew and Fin, turning her back to Elliot and spreading her arms out, her hands in a defensive position toward Andrew and Fin.

"Stop." She said. She turned around and put a hand on Elliot's chest. "Just stop." She turned back around to face Fin and Andrew, who had stopped, but we're mere inches from her. "Please." The last thing she wanted was a brawl in the middle of the party.

She turned back to Elliot. "I'll go with you. Just stop this."

"Olivia." Andrew said. "What are you doing? You don't have to go with him." She saw the look of concern on his face. He turned to Fin. "Are you going to let her go?"

Elliot tried to take another step towards him, wanting to punch this guy's face in. _Who the hell did he think he was?_ "Nobody asked you asshole." Olivia turned back towards Elliot and pushed back against him again, her hand splayed across his chest. "I said I'll go with you. Now back off." Elliot looked at her for a second, and then took a few steps backwards, his hands in fists at his sides.

Fin looked at her. "Liv? What do you want me to do here?" He had no love for Stabler, but he wasn't certain what was going on, and he would respect whatever she said.

Olivia shook her head. "It's fine." She looked over at Andrew. "I'm sorry." She said quietly. She felt horrible about the situation, and she wished she could explain it to him, but she wasn't even sure she knew what was going on herself. She didn't want to leave with Elliot; she was mad as hell at his behavior. But the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of a scene at Casey's party. She started to say something else, but decided against it.

"Let's go. Say goodbye to lover boy."

She shot Elliot a dirty look.

"Screw you." She said, storming towards the door. Elliot looked back at Andrew, and then looked over at Fin. He saw him shaking his head. "If you do anything stupid…" he said, a menacing look in his eyes. Elliot knew it wasn't an idle threat, but he also knew that Fin knew he would never hurt her. He didn't say anything. He turned to follow Olivia, leaving them behind.

When he got out of the party room, he didn't see her anywhere. He rushed out of the building, and saw her standing outside with the doorman. He was trying to flag down a cab for her.

"Olivia." He yelled, moving towards her.

She shot him a dirty look. "I don't have anything to say to you." She said and he could hear the anger in her tone.

He grasped her upper arm lightly, halting her movement. "You're going to talk to me." He said, dropping his hand from her arm. "Do you mind explaining that to me?" He motioned towards the building. "Who the hell was that guy?"

She put her hands on her hips, her face defiant. "He is none of your business."

"You kiss me and then you go off and pick up some other guy? What the hell?"

"I didn't kiss you. _You_ kissed me." She turned and started walking away from him.

"Bullshit. You kissed me back." He yelled back at her. "And that's not what we're talking about." He followed her. "Were you going to sleep with that guy?"

Olivia whirled around to face him. She poked her finger into his chest. "You know what? Who I sleep with is _none_ of your business. In fact, maybe I should go back in there and grab him and fuck his brains out right now." She always knew how to fight dirty and she knew that would drive Elliot over the edge. Maybe enough for him to leave her alone because she didn't know what the hell he _expected_ from her.

Elliot stopped cold, and she could see she had hurt him. "Is that what you want?" He said it so quietly, it rattled her.

She wanted to reach out and tell him she was sorry. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had come to the party tonight to take her mind off Elliot and to put an end to this. Whatever this was. And he was making it so damn difficult. She was still angry, but she didn't want to hurt him anymore.

"Just stop interfering in my life Elliot." She said shortly. She headed back towards where the doorman was still trying to catch a cab for her.

Elliot let out a large sigh, trying to calm down. He knew that anger and rage weren't going to work with her. He watched her walk away.

"Liv." He said, his tone considerably calmer than he felt. His mind was in turmoil over everything that had happened tonight. He wanted to come here to talk to her and it had turned into this shit storm. He knew he couldn't go home with all of this unresolved between them. "Just let me give you a ride home."

She stopped, looking at the doorman, who was having no luck getting a cab. Her shoulders slumped. This constant push and pull between them was exhausting, and she was getting tired of fighting. She turned to face him. Her mind was telling her to say no. But against all better judgment, she heard herself agreeing. She sighed heavily as he pointed her in the direction of his car.

EOEOEOEO

The car ride was silent. She leaned against the door and looked out the window. When Elliot parked in front of her building, she jumped out of the car quickly. She turned and shot him a look when she heard his car door slam. She furrowed her brows at him and stopped.

"I'm just going to walk you to your door." He knew it was a lie as soon as it left his mouth. He wasn't leaving until they had this out.

She opened her mouth to tell him in no uncertain terms that he did not need to walk her inside; she wasn't drunk and she could take care of herself. But she saw the look on his face and knew they would spend ten minutes standing outside arguing about it and she just wanted to escape inside her apartment and get the hell away from him. She didn't say anything, and just turned and opened the door to the building and took the stairs up to the fourth floor. She didn't appreciate climbing stairs in spiky heels, but there was no way she was going to be enclosed in a small elevator with him…those close quarters would not help.

They reached the fourth floor and she started walking down the hall. Elliot was close behind her.

"You're not coming in." she said, putting the key in the lock and turning the knob. She knew he would fight her on it; that it was already a forgone conclusion. But she was going to keep fighting him…fighting this. It was the right thing to do.

"Like hell." He said, his hand on the door. "We need to talk about this thing between you and me."

She shot him a backwards glance. "There is no you and me." She pushed the door open.

"Like hell." He repeated, following her into the apartment.

She turned towards him, and Elliot noticed that with the heels, he was looking her straight in the eye. "No! There isn't." she said, her tone pleading.

Elliot ignored her and pushed the door closed, hearing it slam shut. Olivia looked at the door, and then looked at him, and he could see the indecision in her face.

"It's not too late." She whispered.

Elliot pushed her up against the wall, his hands on her shoulders. He had intended to find her at the party to try to talk this through, but now, in the heat of the moment, the only thing he could think about was kissing her.

"It's not too late for what?" he asked, his voice rough.

"For you to go home. You haven't cheated on your wife…" She pushed against his chest with her hands.

"Don't you understand?" He whispered. "I already have."

He leaned in then, pressing his lips against hers. He ran one hand up to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair. His other hand dropped to her waist. His mouth was hungry against hers, and he tilted his head immediately, kissing her forcefully. She resisted at first, her hands still on his chest. But it was only a moment before he felt her succumb, the pressure of her hands against his chest lessening.

He ran his tongue along her bottom lip before he dipped inside her mouth, swiping his tongue against hers. He heard a small sound escape from her throat and then she was kissing him back.

Olivia's body was betraying her; she could already feel a flush spreading across her body. Elliot was kissing her, and just like before, it was as if her body was uniquely tuned to his. She'd never felt so weak…

 _No!_ She couldn't be weak. This was insane…they couldn't do this. Her hands were still on his chest and she broke this kiss, pushing him hard with her hands. He was forced back a few steps and he stood there for a moment, looking at her. She swallowed hard, looking at the intensity in his eyes. She'd never been afraid of Elliot in a physical sense, but she could see something dark there.

Elliot watched her for a second, and he could see the contradiction in her body. Her chest was flushed and he could see her hardened nipples through the satin fabric of her shirt. Her mouth was open slightly, and he waited for her to tell him no, but she didn't say anything. She was watching him with a wary look, and her breathing was ragged. She looked so goddamn gorgeous and the only thing he could think about was that he wanted that mouth on his. He took a step towards her and stopped, gauging her reaction.

She closed her eyes. She wasn't strong enough. She wanted this just as much as he did, and she was tired of fighting it. "Elliot." She whispered.

He closed the gap between them, hesitating only a second before he dropped his mouth against hers again. She made a small sound as he ravaged her mouth, and he felt her knees buckle slightly. He pushed his body against hers, his hand wrapping around the back of her head again. He drove his tongue into her mouth, kissing her hard and she snaked her arms beneath his, splaying her hands against his shoulder blades and pulling him tight against her.

She could feel his erection pressed against her and her eyes flew open at the reality of what was happening. There was no going back after this…he wasn't thinking clearly. She pulled her arms out from beneath his and pushed at his shoulders as she tried to break the kiss. He stumbled backwards again, a surprised look on his face.

Her eyes dropped to the bulge in his pants; she could see his erection straining against his jeans and she swallowed hard. She looked up and captured his eyes. She could see the lust there and she shivered slightly. She tried to catch her breath. Her body was betraying her…want coursed through her body. She closed her eyes again, trying to regain her senses.

She opened her eyes and stared into his. "What do you want from me?" she whispered, her voice pleading with him to stop and think about what he was doing.

Elliot could hear the tone of her voice and he felt a twinge of guilt at pushing her. But they'd been going on like this forever, and he was done. He couldn't deny what he was feeling any longer, and he knew she felt the same way. She'd spent more time trying to fix his marriage then him, and he needed her to let it go…she was the only one fighting for it any more.

He took a step towards her and reached out, his hand gently caressing her cheek. "What do I want from you?" he asked quietly. "Everything."

His hand slipped to the back of her neck, while his other hand wrapped around her waist and he pulled her against him. "I want it all." He pressed his lips against hers again, and this time it was a slow, lingering kiss. He pulled his mouth from hers, and dropped his mouth to her ear. "God I want you." He whispered, trailing his tongue along the shell of her ear.

She didn't respond. She couldn't. His words made her weak, and she knew it was over. She didn't want to fight him anymore. She wanted him. She reached up, cupping his cheeks with her hands, and pulling his mouth back to hers. She sucked his bottom lip between hers, nipping and sucking before driving her tongue between his lips. She heard a moan rip from his throat, and all restraint was gone. He pushed his body up against hers, and she could feel his erection pressed up against her. He dipped his knees, hitting the juncture between her thighs and he rocked himself against her. She felt the moisture between her legs, and she knew she was already ready for him. It was as if her body knew him...

Elliot wasn't wasting any time now. As he continued to rock his hips into her slowly, he dropped his mouth to her neck, sucking at the skin there. He found a sensitive spot and her hips bucked against him. He kept sucking and teasing that spot and she knew he was leaving a mark. She had a fleeting thought that maybe that was appropriate. She belonged to him and they both knew it.

His hand lifted the hem of her shirt, running his hand underneath until he reached the satin of her bra. He didn't slow down, running his hand over her breast, squeezing gently. She moaned again as he started teasing her hardened nipple, running his thumb back and forth across it. She felt her entire body tingling and her thighs clenched together. With his rocking against her and his hand on her breast…she felt like she could come already.

"Elliot." She moaned.

Elliot pulled his mouth from her neck, her husky moan sending a jolt though his body. She had her head thrown back and her hips were pushing against him as he rocked against her and he needed to move this to her bedroom. Now.

"Liv." He said, his hand running up her arm, her shoulder, and then her neck until he pulled her head off the wall. She opened her eyes and stared into his. "Tell me yes." He said. He wasn't going to take this any further until he heard her say it.

She stared at him for a second and then closed her eyes. She could still stop this…was he giving her an out? A chance to be sensible and pull them from the precipice? She opened her eyes again and stared into his and the only thing she saw was lust…want…love.

"Yes." She whispered.

The word was barely out of her mouth before his mouth was on hers again. But the kiss was brief. He wrapped one arm around her waist and then he was leaning down and before Olivia knew what was happening, he had scooped her up in his arms. She let out a cry of surprise; she didn't know what she'd been expecting, but the way Elliot was going after her, she had half expected this to happen right there in the hallway. He headed down to her bedroom, pushing the door open with his foot and walked towards her bed.

Olivia's breath hitched slightly. This was really happening, and although she'd slept with plenty of other men, she found she was slightly nervous. This was _Elliot_. Even though she had wanted this for as long as she could remember, there was still a small part of her that couldn't believe this was real. She thought maybe she would wake up and this would all be a dream.

Elliot set her down on her feet, right next to the bed. He ran his hands up her arms until he reached her neck. He kissed her again, his hands cupping her face. He placed small, open mouthed kisses across her jawline and then down her neck. He reached for the hem of her shirt, tugging it up and over her head. He looked down, taking in the swell of her breasts straining at the fabric of her white satin bra.

 _Jesus Christ._

He swallowed hard as nerves swept through him. Olivia had been the subject of his dreams, waking and asleep, for a long time. He'd imagined her dark, smooth skin and her full breasts. He had imagined his hands on her…his mouth between her legs. But the reality of it was startling to him. He'd been married for over 20 years…Kathy was the only woman he had ever known…and Olivia was different in every way. She was luscious curves…her body pure sin…and he wanted to be buried deep inside of her. He could imagine sex being torturously slow, a long afternoon of love-making in bed. And he could imagine it rough and wild, her nails digging into him as he drove into her hard against the wall. He wanted to hear her moan his name as he made her come hard.

Olivia was tugging at his shirt and he came back to her, his doubts erased. He pulled his shirt up and over his head, and moaned as she ran her hands over his chest. She placed a few kisses on his chest, but he didn't have patience for that. He tugged at her jeans again, unbuttoning them and pulling the zipper down. He tugged them down over her hips, revealing a matching pair of white satin panties

"Sweet Jesus." He moaned, pulling her jeans the rest of the way down her long, dark legs. She started to kick her shoes off as her jeans pooled at her ankles.

"Leave them on."

He helped her get her jeans off and then reached up, his hands on her hips. He fingers toyed with the waistband of her panties but he didn't pull them down. He leaned forward, placing his mouth over her and she moaned loudly, her hips pushing against him. He ran his hands back until they cupped her ass, and he pressed her against his mouth, inhaling her scent. He could feel how wet her panties were and he smiled against her, knowing he had been the cause of that. He felt his dick twitch, and although he wanted to take his time with her…he knew his restraint was only going to last so long. He pulled his mouth from her and stood up slowly, his hands trailing up her sides.

As he stood up in front of her, Olivia took the chance to run her hands down his chest, moving towards his belt buckle. She unbuttoned his jeans, and opened the zipper, licking her lips as she thought of touching him. She looked up at him then, and saw he was watching her. She slid her hand down the length of him and his eyes closed as a loud moan ripped from his throat.

Olivia squeezed him gently as she moved her hand along his length. She'd seen him in tight jeans before…she had imagined that he had the package to back up that cocky attitude…but as she felt him beneath her hand, her thighs clenched at the thought of him inside of her.

He placed his hand over hers, stilling her movements. He was hard as hell…had been for days every time he thought about those kisses…and he was quickly losing control.

"Don't." he said. He put his hands on her upper arms and walked her backwards towards the bed. The back of her legs hit the bed before she realized it and she tumbled backwards, pulling Elliot along with her. He landed on top of her, catching himself with one hand before he crushed her. She reached up and pulled his mouth against hers again. Elliot kissed her, his hands running back up to her breast. Olivia reached down, tugging at his jeans, but she couldn't get them off with his body pressed against hers.

Elliot pushed up and moved off the bed. He tugged his jeans off and then looked back at the bed. He sucked in his breath when he saw Olivia laid out before him. The white satin against her dark skin…her long legs stretched out towards him…her toned stomach and abs…her full breasts…

 _Absolutely fucking gorgeous_.

Then his eyes moved to hers and he saw her watching him.

"God Liv." He whispered and he saw a flush creep into her cheeks. He pulled his boxers off, freeing his erection and moved back towards the bed.

He kneeled on the edge of the bed and ran his hand up her shins and then to her thighs. He placed his hands on her hips and snagged the waistband of her panties, pulling them down slowly. Olivia jumped when he leaned over and placed kisses on her abdomen. He got her panties down around her thighs and moved briefly so she could kick them off. He settled himself between her legs, spreading them with his hands. He placed small kisses along her inner thighs, and Olivia moaned in anticipation. The muscles in her stomach contracted as he moved closer to her core and she let out a long, low moan as his tongue trailed along her slit, opening her up to him.

"God you're so wet." He said as he trailed his tongue down to her opening. He teased her entrance with his tongue and her hips bucked up. He reached up, placing a hand on her hip and holding her in place as found her clit with his tongue and started teasing her with his tongue and his lips. She put her hands on his head, pushing at him. She wanted him to stop this torture…and she didn't.

"God El." She groaned. She was moving beneath his mouth, her hips wanting to thrust up against him as he continued to torture her with his tongue. He felt his hands then, as two fingers slipped inside of her and she was coming undone as he pumped them inside of her, twisting and stretching her.

Her fingers ran through his short hair. "Elliot." She gasped. "I want you…" she gasped again…she was so close.

Elliot pulled his mouth from her and slipped his fingers out. He moved up her body, placing kisses along her stomach until he reached her breasts. He ran his tongue across the swell of her breasts, tugging at the straps and pulling the down her shoulders. But he let out a sound of frustration when he couldn't get it off and she laughed lightly, reaching up and opening the front clasp.

Her bra fell away and Elliot groaned again. This was like every fucking dream he'd ever had.

He growled, taking one of her breasts in his mouth as he knocked her thighs further apart with his. He settled between her thighs, and his erection knocked her entrance. She arched her back, placing a hand on the back of his head as she sucked and teased her breast. She lifted her hips slightly, forcing him to penetrate her slightly and he gasped against her breast.

He released her from his mouth and moved his face back to hers, pushing into her slightly as he looked down at her. He was braced on his forearms, and he could feel her breasts pushing into his chest with her ragged breathing.

He hesitated, wanting to give her a moment to be certain. Like so many other times, she read his mind.

He felt her wrap her long legs around his upper thighs, the spike of the heels digging into him slightly and he smiled as she pushed against him and raised her hips. "I'm yours." She whispered.

Elliot closed his eyes and groaned as he pushed himself into her, going slowly. He wanted to feel every inch of her and he groaned again at her walls tight around him. He paused when she gasped, opening his eyes and looking down at her.

"OK?" He asked, his voice deep.

"Jesus El. Give me a second." She tried to relax her muscles to accommodate him.

"Liv." He groaned. Her walls clenching around him and he needed to be inside her completely.

"It's OK." She pushed her legs against his thighs and lifted her hips again, feeling him slide into her completely and she let out a long, low moan.

Elliot hesitated for a second, feeling completely overwhelmed by the sensation of being inside her. But then he couldn't hold himself still any longer. He pulled himself out almost completely and then slammed back into her, causing her to gasp. He looked down at her.

"Don't stop." She said. He pulled out and drove back in again hard and she met his thrust with her own. He moved in and out of her and she was grasping at his shoulders with her short nails.

"Harder." she said, and Elliot moaned as he pounded inside of her, their bodies slamming together. He rotated his hips as he continued his motions and Olivia was writhing beneath him. Her hands left his body and she grabbed onto the sheets next to her, trying to hold on to something as fire roared through her body.

She was moaning uncontrollably now as Elliot continued to move. He was grunting with exertion and she could feel his arms trembling. She could feel her orgasm building in her body and she knew when she came, it was going to be unlike anything she had experienced before.

"ohgodohgod…Elliot…I'm…" She couldn't finish her sentence as her orgasm ripped through her and Elliot faltered as her walls clenched around him like a vise.

"Fuck!" he yelled out as he came inside her...his arms buckling as her body continued to pulse around him. He caught himself, dropping his head against her shoulder as he gasped for breath. Olivia was breathing heavily beneath him, and after what felt like an eternity, he moved against her slowly. She gasped…her body overly sensitive now…and he stopped, looking down at her. He lowered himself slightly, settling himself inside of her and nuzzling her cheek with his nose.

"Jesus Liv." He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and then looked down at her.

"Yeah." She let out a deep breath.

"I always knew this would be amazing." He brushed a loose strand of hair back from her face. "God Liv. I've never…"

She put two fingers over his mouth. She didn't want to hear any comparisons, especially because she was relatively certain she was the only other woman he'd slept with besides his wife.

 _His wife._

She felt a small stab of guilt…but couldn't find any regret in what they'd just done.

"Are you OK?" he asked. He wanted to make sure she was OK physically…he had felt her struggle to accommodate him. But he also wanted to make sure she was OK with everything that had happened. He knew he had pushed her, and even though she had said yes, he was still concerned that she had regrets.

Olivia knew what he was asking. "I'm fine." She said quietly. She could tell that it wasn't the answer he was looking for and she reached up and placed her hand on his cheek.

"El. I don't regret this, if that's what you're asking. I don't regret it at all."


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi readers! Thanks for all your comments. This update is a little shorter than planned, but I want to keep this going. Thanks!_

EOEOEOEO

"El, I don't regret this, if that's what you're asking. I don't regret it at all."

She looked away from him then because while she didn't regret it, she did feel guilt start to creep in. She knew that a portion of the guilt belonged to Elliot; he had been the one to break his marriage vows. But she would always wonder if she should have done more to stop this thing between them. If she had encouraged it in any way. If she should have been stronger; strong enough to make up for his weakness.

But there was always a part of her that knew this was inevitable. That they would end up here.

"Liv." Elliot said softly, reaching up to turn her face back towards his. "I have to move. OK? As much as he would have liked to stay buried inside of her forever, he needed to give her some room to breathe and his arms and body were spent.

"OK." She whispered. Elliot pulled out slowly and moved to her side, reaching out his arm to have her snuggle into his side. She hesitated for a moment, and then let him pull her close to him. She splayed her hand across his chest, realizing that everything had happened so quickly, she really hadn't had the opportunity to explore his body. She ran her hands down his chest, then down over his abs and back up again. She knew Elliot was fit, but this was ridiculous. This man was hard all over and she felt her body clench slightly.

Elliot laughed lightly and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "What are you thinking about?" he teased.

Olivia didn't answer, figuring she didn't need to feed his ego any more. She rested her hand on his chest and let out a large sigh. Elliot was running his hand up and down her back and she felt so completely at peace. Sated. Happy. She felt like this was right where she was supposed to be.

Except it wasn't.

Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit her hard. She pulled away from him then, rolling over until she was separated from his body, her back to him. He was a little disappointed, but not surprised, by her actions. He knew that now that the heat of the moment had passed, she would be agonizing over what had happened and what would happen next. He had to move cautiously and let her know he didn't regret this either…and that it was going to be OK.

He traced his fingers lightly down her back, making lazy patterns. He moved a little closer, careful to keep his body separated from hers. He placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder and she jumped slightly. He stifled a laugh, and he kissed her again, trailing kisses across her shoulder. He swept her hair to the side, and placed more kisses on the back of her neck and she closed her eyes. His fingers continued trailing down her back and she shuddered at his touch. "Olivia." He said softly. "You're so beautiful."

She didn't say anything and he continued kissing her gently, his fingers moving to her side and caressing the skin there.

"Will you tell me what you're thinking about right now?" His voice was low…almost seductive.

Olivia listened to the question…and noticed the timbre of his voice. He knew her well, and was trying to distract her with compliments and thoughts about what had just happened between them…and what could come next. All normal things between two people that had just shared an intimate connection. She closed her eyes again. She wanted to turn around and mold her body into his…kiss him and explore that fabulous body. But she knew she couldn't do that.

"Nothing." She lied, trying to buy some time. She just wanted to savor this moment. One more moment to enjoy Elliot's body next to hers…to relish the touch of his hands on her…his mouth on her skin.

"Liar." He teased.

She remained quiet, trying to think. But it was so hard to focus.

"Liv." He said, moving his body a little closer to her, and brushing her hair back from her cheek. "You have to know I lo…"

"No!" She said sharply. Was he really going to tell her that he loved her? No. No. No. His declaration sent her scrambling away from him. She sat up, grabbing at the comforter as she did, covering herself as she turned back towards him. "You don't get to say that." She said quietly.

"But."

"No. That makes this mean more than what it is."

Elliot sat up, a surprised look on his face. "Liv. Don't say that. This means everything. And I do…"

Olivia moved off the bed, holding out a hand and shaking her head. "I told you not to say that." Elliot made a move to get off the bed and she held out her hand again. "You don't get to say that to me. Not while you're married to someone else."

Her words stopped him cold for a moment. He had tried to tell her earlier, before they'd even some into the bedroom, they'd he had already made his choice. This wasn't a fling to him. He wasn't taking this lightly.

"Olivia." He stood up and reached out to her, trying to pull her towards him. She braced herself with one hand against his chest, stopping him from pulling her completely against him. He stood and looked down at her. "I know you're a little freaked out…"

"Don't talk to me like I'm being irrational." She took a step back, tucking the comforter around her completely. "I told you I don't regret it Elliot, but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty. You cheated on your _wife_ Elliot. And I'm as much to blame." She took another step back from him, as if physical distance from him could help her disassociate her feelings from the person. "If not more. I've been here before. I shouldn't have let this happen."

"Olivia. Listen to me." Elliot said, taking a step towards her but then stopping as she backed up and hit the dresser with her body.

She shook her head. "No." She moved to the side and started making her way towards the bathroom. When she got to the doorway, she turned towards him. "We had sex and now..." Her thought went unfinished as she grasped the comforter tucked around her breasts and took in a deep breath. "This can't happen again." She saw the shocked look on her face and looked away, not wanting to crumble. "Go home Elliot." She walked into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind her.

 _This can't happen again_. Her words had hit him hard.

Elliot stood there for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. He knew she was freaked out, despite what she said. And the gravity of the situation wasn't lost on him. He knew he had cheated on his wife…and he knew he had made her part of the deception. But he'd asked her; she said yes. She knew what she was agreeing to.

And even though she didn't want to hear it, or wasn't ready to hear it, he loved her. This wasn't the end. It couldn't be. He was completely and thoroughly addicted to her now. A few kisses had distracted him beyond belief, but now...

This was not over.

He snagged his boxers off the floor and slid them on. He walked over to the bathroom door, knocking lightly.

"Liv. Open the door." He said calmly.

Olivia let out a deep breath through pursed lips. She was standing at the counter, her arms braced against it, trying to make sense of the millions of thoughts and emotions running through her body right now. She should have known he wouldn't go without a fight.

 _It was just this one time. Now we know. Now we can move on._

She kept repeating that over and over to herself, trying to make herself believe it. _Fuck_. Knowing was worse than not knowing. Because she knew how perfectly their bodies fit together. She knew that Elliot could make her melt with just one kiss; that her body instinctively reacted to his touch. His proximity would always spark a throbbing deep in her belly. An ache between her legs.

"Olivia." He said a little more loudly, rattling the doorknob. "Please open this door. I want to talk to you."

"Go home." She said, her voice strained.

"I'm not leaving." He said, his tone a little angry. He took a deep breath, knowing anger wasn't going to get him anywhere. "Please. Just come out and we won't talk. We'll just sleep. Please. I just want to hold you and …" He let out an exasperated sigh. This isn't how he had anticipated the rest of the night going. He just wanted to hold her. Feel her skin against his. Run his hands through her hair and over her soft, smooth skin. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and in her neck and inhale her scent; wrap his body around hers and fall asleep with her in his arms.

He had expected a small amount of resistance when reality set in, but he had thought that it would be in the morning. And that by that time, they could have reasonable discussion. Right now, emotions were too close to the surface and he knew it was going to be tough to talk to her. But he had to keep trying. Maybe she just needed a little time and a little distance.

"OK. Listen. I don't want to leave but I don't want you to have to keep hiding in the bathroom all night. So I'm going to grab a pillow and a blanket and I'm going to sleep out on the couch. You can come out of the bathroom in a few minutes and go to bed and I promise I'll leave you alone for the rest of the night." He listened at the door for any kind of response. He didn't get one. "Liv. OK?"

Olivia heard him pleading on the other side of the door and she wanted to open the door and let him in. But she hadn't been strong enough before to stop this. She had to be strong now before this really got out of control. She took a deep breath, trying to channel some anger so she could do what needed to be done.

She walked over to the door and wrenched it open, startling Elliot. He stepped back.

"I don't want you here Elliot!" She yelled, walking towards him. She pushed him in the chest. "We both wanted it but now we've fucked and gotten it out of our system and now it's time for you to go home." The words coming out of her mouth hurt her just as much as they appeared to hurt him, but she was trying to make him understand that they couldn't continue this…they couldn't start a full blown affair.

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her. "I know what you're doing Olivia and it's not going to work. I know you don't mean that."

"I do mean it." She moved to her closet and grabbed a robe. She slipped it on and tied it close, dropping the comforter around her feet. She turned back towards him. She set her jaw, willing herself not to cry. If he saw weakness, it would be over. She looked over at Elliot, who was standing there looking at her. She could see the indecision in his face.

"I want to stay here tonight Liv. We…"

"There is no we!" she yelled. "Don't you understand? I don't want you here." Then she said the one thing she knew would make him leave. "I don't let any of my one night stands stay over, and I'm not about to start now." She bent down and picked up his jeans, and threw them at him. "Just go."

She walked back into the bathroom, and slammed the door. She leaned back against it, her entire body trembling as she slid down to the floor. She felt the tears coming, and this time she didn't try to stop them. She sobbed quietly, listening to the rustling on the other side of the door. She knew Elliot was getting dressed and that soon he would be gone. It took all of her strength not to open the door and beg him not to leave. But she stayed put. She was bracing herself to hear an angry outburst or a slamming door, but there was only silence.

Suddenly, she was startled by his voice at the door, calm and quiet.

"Olivia. I know what you're trying to do. But I don't need you to save me. I'm already gone. I'm leaving because you asked me to. But I'm not going to leave without telling you that I love you."

Her breath caught in her throat and she swore her heart skipped a beat. She had expected his rage…but not this. She heard the door close before she could fully process it.

He was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey readers! Wow, I love all of the comments from the reviewers. Seems people have a love/hate relationship with this story! Thanks for reading and keep leaving reviews. I appreciate it._

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Elliot closed the door quietly behind him and paused, scrubbing his hands over his face. He was surprised he was this calm considering the things Olivia had said, but he knew it was just her self-preservation kicking in. She was trying to push him away to protect him from doing more damage to his marriage than he had already done. But she was also trying to protect herself from what she thought was inevitable pain. He wished he could make her understand that he had no intention of hurting her; that for him, this wasn't some quick affair.

He thought about how he had pursued her over the past few days, culminating in the scene at the party tonight. He realized he had never really given her a chance; he had been singularly focused on his need… on his intense desire for her. _He_ had decided they had played this game long enough. _He_ had decided that he had to have her.

 _Now_.

He knew she felt the same way he did. What had happened between them tonight had been mutual; he hadn't forced her. But it hadn't been on her terms. She had told him that she refused to be the other woman, and he had blatantly ignored her.

He hadn't been thinking about this from her perspective. He hadn't been thinking about what this meant to her.

He had made her exactly what she didn't want to be…the other woman.

He scrubbed his hand over his face again. He had to fix this. He had to talk to her. He sighed heavily. He didn't know what fixing this entailed. Would she simply want him to leave her alone…the damage done? Or would she listen to him when he told her that he loved her and that he wanted to work out how to move forward, whatever that meant. He thought her knew her, but right now, he honestly didn't know what she would say.

He pushed up off the door, and looked back, wondering if she had come out of the bathroom or if she was still holed up inside, trying to figure out what the hell to do next. Would she answer the door if he knocked? Would she talk to him?

He lifted his hand, wanting to find out. But he put his hand back down. He had promised her that he would leave, and he was going to honor her wishes. He owed her that.

"Good night Liv." He whispered. "I love you."

He turned and headed to the precinct for another long night in the cribs.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia stayed on the floor for a few minutes after he had gone. She finally pushed herself up and walked over to the sink. She looked in the mirror and saw her eyes were red from crying. She splashed cold water on her face and then dried it with a towel. She pulled her hair back to pull it into a ponytail, and saw the marks that Elliot had left on her neck. _Goddamnit_. The last thing she needed was a visible reminder of what had happened.

She walked out in the bedroom and pulled on some pajamas. She considered changing the sheets, but she was exhausted…and she also knew that her sheets would smell of him. She crawled into her bed and pulled the covers up, burying her face in the pillow and inhaling deeply.

She closed her eyes and her mind betrayed her by replaying everything that had happened. She has told Elliot that it couldn't happen again, and she'd meant it. It's not that she didn't want to…God, she wanted to. It was everything she had imagined it would be and more. But it was the right thing to do.

She would not be the other woman. She would not have an affair. And Elliot couldn't tell her that he loved her; not while he was married to someone else.

She could still feel him between her legs and her mind wandered back to his mouth and his hands roaming her body.

 _No_. She had to be the voice of reason. They worked together. He was married. This was wrong.

She knew that she had hurt him with the things she had said, but she done it purposefully. She would help them do the right thing.

She rolled over, and inhaled again, knowing she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

The next time it happened, she couldn't blame it on him.

Over the past two weeks, Olivia had successfully avoided talking about what had happened, and Elliot had eventually given up in frustration. She felt badly, but she just didn't even know what to say. She saw the looks he gave her, and she couldn't quite interpret them. She could tell the frustration was tinged with anger and sadness. And it pissed her off because it seemed like he thought this was easy for her, and nothing could be further from the truth.

This week had been particularly stressful at work. They had worked a ton of hours, and had only had a few hours of sleep the night before. They had wrapped things up in the late afternoon on Friday, and the Captain sent them all home around 3.

Elliot looked over at Olivia, seeing the fatigue on her face.

"Liv." He said quietly. "Let me drop you at home." She hadn't been letting him drive her home the past two weeks, preferring to take a taxi or walk. But tonight he hoped she would say yes. Just to provide bit of normalcy between them.

She looked up at him. "OK." She said simply. She was exhausted and just wanted to get home.

The left the precinct together, neither of them talking. The ride to Olivia's was quiet as well, and she stared out the window as Elliot navigated the city streets.

She had been doing a lot of thinking over the past two weeks. She knew the world was an imperfect place; things didn't always work out the way they should. She couldn't dwell on what if's or on how things should have happened. She hadn't meant to fall in love with Elliot. And she didn't question that Elliot loved her either. She also knew that he was a noble man, and that he hadn't made his decision to change things between them lightly. She also knew there was no guarantee for the future; life was short.

She could feel the tension in the air; of all the things left unsaid between them. Olivia was still staring out the window when she finally spoke.

"You know I didn't mean the things I said to you." She said softly.

Elliot was surprised. That hadn't been what he was expecting. Before he could answer, she started talking again.

"I just was trying to…" her voice trailed off.

"I know Liv." He said, his voice quiet as well. "You were just protecting yourself."

Olivia looked over at his profile as he continued driving. "Maybe." She let out a sigh. "Maybe I was just trying to get you to see that this wasn't what you wanted." She looked back out the window. "You have a wife…and a family." She whispered.

Elliot pulled up in front of her apartment building and put the car in park. He turned slightly in his seat to look at her, but she was still looking out the window. "Do you honestly believe that? That this isn't what I want? God Liv. You're everything I want.

"El." She started.

"No. Listen to me." He said. He had been doing a lot of thinking and he needed to get this off his chest. "I've handled all of this so badly. And I appreciate that you're trying to save me from myself. But that's not your job. We've been dancing around this for so long and nothing was going to change unless one of us made it happen. I was just done with that. And when I saw you with someone else when I thought we were in the middle of trying to figure all of this out, it just pushed me over the edge. I shouldn't have dragged you out of that party like that. But I can't stand the thought of it Liv. Right or wrong…you're mine. I know you don't want me to tell you that I love you right now, so I won't. And I know I have to figure things out before we can move forward." His voice started to crack a little and Olivia looked over at him. He lifted her hand from her lap and intertwined her fingers in between his, his gaze locked on their hands together. "But I want you to believe me when I tell you that I don't regret any of it. Not one single second. My only regret is the way things ended that night." He shook his head at the memory. "I want to make this right with you. So I'm asking you to tell me that you want the same thing and to give me a little time."

Olivia looked up at him and his eyes met hers. "At the party. I was just trying to get past it. I told myself nothing could happen between us no matter how much I wanted it to." She looked down at their hands laying between them, her admission lying heavily. "It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you. I said yes and I meant it. I wanted it to happen." She took a deep breath. "I thought maybe just knowing…just one time. That maybe that would be enough and you could go back to your wife and we could go back to being friends and partners." She looked up at him then, shaking her head slightly. "This past two weeks has been hell. Did you think it was easy for me?"

"I didn't know what to think. I guess you're stronger than me."

"Well, I'm not."

"So…" Elliot started. "You're saying that you want to see if we can work things out between us?"

Olivia was quiet for a minute. She turned to look out the window again, squeezing Elliot's hand. "Come upstairs with me El."

"What?" Elliot said, surprise in his voice.

"Don't make me say it again." She said quietly. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't get him out of her mind. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't eat. She loved him and she knew they had to work things out…he had to finish things with Kathy. But right now…she wanted him.

"Olivia. Look at me." Elliot wanted to see her eyes. He wanted to make sure this was really what she wanted because he wanted to go up with her…but he didn't want to force her into being someone she didn't want to be. "You don't have to…"

She looked over at him. "Just…" She leaned over, tugging him towards her. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips and pulled back, looking him squarely in the eyes. "Just come upstairs."

She turned and opened the car door, slamming it shut behind her. She didn't look back. He'd either follow her up or he wouldn't. He had to make the choice now. She was almost to the front door when she heard the car turn off. She turned around and saw him walking up behind her, a look of uncertainty on his face. She wished she could reassure him…but she couldn't. She didn't know what the hell they were doing either.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

The ride up in the elevator and the walk down to her apartment had been quiet. Elliot was second guessing his decision to come upstairs. Even though Olivia seemed to have made some kind of decision, and she was the one that had initiated this, he wanted to move cautiously. He didn't want a repeat of the events of a couple of weeks ago.

Olivia unlocked her door and walked in, going straight into her kitchen. She dropped her keys and phone on the counter, followed by her badge and gun. She braced her arms against the counter, trying to slow her breathing. She heard the door close and felt herself stiffen slightly, unsure of what to do next. She had been the one to invite him up, but she was hoping he initiated contact because she had lost her nerve.

She didn't turn around but she could tell he was standing by the door. She heard him shifting back and forth on his feet and he let out a sigh. She heard him move and then he was behind her. He caged her against the counter, careful not to make contact.

"What are we doing here Liv?" he asked quietly.

She shuddered slightly at his warm breath in her ear and at his proximity. She could feel the heat from his body and she felt like her heart was beating out of her chest.

"I can't stop thinking about that night." She said quietly. "And I know this is wrong but I can't seem to stop wanting you." She dropped her head down. "I've tried. I kept it hidden for so long. Forced those feelings down deep." She blew a breath out through pursed lips. "But when you kissed me…"

"I know." Elliot wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him. She lifted her head up and dropped it back against shoulder, letting out a heavy sigh as she melted into him. He kissed her cheek and rocked slightly in place, relishing the fact that she was in his arms again.

Olivia put her hands on his and pulled them from around her waist. She moved away from him slightly, keeping hold of his hands as she moved out of the kitchen. She walked backwards towards her bedroom, pulling him along with her.

Elliot's heart raced; he could hardly believe this was going to happen. The last time they were together, everything had happened so fast. He hadn't taken the time he wanted with her…foolishly thinking he would be spending the night with her. This time would be different.

The reached her bedroom and Olivia dropped his hands. She reached up to her blouse and started to unbutton it.

"Stop." He said, reaching for her hands.

"I already told you I want this." She said. She was finally relaxing a bit, feeling more confident about her decision to invite him upstairs. She wanted this to happen, and she was going to enjoy it.

Elliot could feel the change in her demeanor, and it made him relax too. He smiled. "I know. But this time, I want to take my time." His hands went to her cheeks, cupping her face. "I haven't even kissed you yet."

His lips moved to hers and it was soft and gentle. He pulled her bottom lip between his, sucking gently before he released it again. He let his hand drop to her shoulders, and then ran one hand to the back of her head, cupping it as he deepened the kiss, opening her mouth with his. Olivia slid her arms around his waist and pulled him tightly against her, and he moaned as she slipped her tongue into his open mouth. He slid his tongue against hers and their kisses got more heated. Elliot's hand dropped down to her shoulder, then trailed down her arm, brushing the side of her breast with his thumb. Olivia's hands dipped under the hem of Elliot's t-shirt and she ran her hands across the skin of his lower back. She ran them up and down his back, dragging her short nails against his skin.

Olivia pulled her mouth from Elliot's and she tried to catch her breath. A few minutes of kissing Elliot and her body was on fire. She wanted to feel his skin against hers. She pulled her hands from underneath his shirt and grabbed the hem. She pulled it up and over his head and Elliot laughed. Olivia had never had a lot of patience, and he was wondering if he was going to see a different side of her tonight. She'd been pretty passive the other night, and that was never how he had pictured her in bed.

"So I take it we're not going to take it slow." He joked.

"Shut up Elliot." She said, placing her hands on his chest. She ran her hands down his body while she trailed her tongue across his collarbone. She placed kisses on his chest while her hand ran down to the waistband of his jeans. She hesitated a second, before dropping her hand down to the bulge in his jeans and Elliot moaned as she ran her hand down his length and back up again, and she felt another rush of heat move through her body. "Fuck." She said.

She wanted his jeans off. _Now_.

She wanted his hands on her. His mouth on her breasts. Between her legs.

She tugged at this button on his jeans but Elliot stopped her once again.

"Uh-uh." Elliot said, pulling her hands from his jeans. "Not yet."

Olivia let out a sound of frustration that made Elliot smile. His hands moved to her shirt, reaching for the buttons. He unbuttoned them as quickly as his big fingers would allow. "Next time, wear a t-shirt." He smiled as he saw her dark skin revealed to him, her breasts full and forming a deep v as they disappeared into a black lace bra. He growled as he dropped his mouth against the swell of her breast, and he ran his tongue from the top of one breast to the other. "Shit Liv." He tugged her blouse down her arms, letting it drop down to the floor. His eyes ran down her body, starting with her breasts and then trailing down over her stomach and back up again.

He pulled her to him, crashing his mouth down on hers again. He walked her back towards the bed, his mouth devouring hers. When the back of her knees hit the bed, he broke the kiss, pushing her backwards.

She laughed as she fell backwards, and she scooted farther back on the bed as Elliot kneeled on the bed at her feet. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, leaving them hanging open. She propped herself up on her elbows and gave him a sultry look. "That's better, but not exactly what I had in mind."

"Tough." He said. He tugged at the bottom of her jeans. "Your clothes are coming off before any more of mine." He moved over her then, placing kisses on her stomach as he moved up her body. Her stomach muscles contracted and she clenched her thighs together as he moved up her body, his legs trapping hers in-between them. He placed his mouth over the lace of her bra and he reached up, pulling the strap down her arm. He placed kisses on her skin as it was revealed and Olivia let out a small moan.

"Tell me you don't wear sexy underwear like this all the time." He moaned.

"I have to be tough on the outside all day long." She moaned. "Nothing wrong with feeling like a girl underneath." Elliot's tugged her bra down farther, revealing her dark nipples and he felt his dick twitch as he ran his tongue over the peak. He bit down lightly with his teeth and Olivia let out a loud moan.

"Damn it." Elliot ran his tongue back and forth, and was rewarded with another low moan. "Now that's all I'm going to think about every damn day." He reached up, tugging the other strap and freeing her other breast. He took it in his mouth, sucking and teasing her with his tongue. Olivia was moaning and trying to move her hips, but Elliot had her trapped beneath his body.

"Just take it off" she rasped as he pulled at the material. She lifted her back slightly and Elliot reached behind her, unclasping it. He sat up slightly, his body straddling hers, and pulled it off. He looked down at her with a wolfish grin. "That's better."

Fin always gave him shit about looking at her ass, but it was her breasts across from him every day that drove him insane. He leaned over her again, kissing her while he took her breasts in his hands, feeling the weight of them, squeezing and massaging, running his thumbs back and forth across her taut nipples.

Olivia pushed her hips up into his body; she could feel the slickness between her legs. Elliot was driving her crazy. She ran her hands down his sides, tugging at his jeans again. She pulled her mouth from his and tried to place kisses on his neck but he pulled back. He ran his tongue down her chest, and then her cleavage as his hands continued to massage her breasts roughly. His mouth moved down over her abdomen, his arms outstretched. He circled her belly button with his tongue and the only thing Olivia could think about was that tongue between her legs.

"Fuck!" she yelled out. "Goddamnit." She slapped a hand down beside her in frustration. He was dragging this out and driving her insane.

He smiled against her skin and looked up at her. "Patience."

Olivia dragged her legs up the back of his. "You have 5 seconds to get those jeans off."

Elliot sat up on his knees and smiled down at her. "OK." He reached for the button of her jeans, and he had them open and unzipped before she knew what happened. She had meant his jeans, but frankly, she just wanted both of them naked so she could get Elliot in between her legs. His hands…his mouth…his dick. She wanted it all.

Elliot tugged her jeans down over her hips and started backing down the bed as he pulled them down. He shook his head and groaned loudly as he saw a small patch of black lace revealed.

Well... _fuck me_.

He stepped off the bed and dropped her jeans to the floor. He looked back at Olivia lying stretched out before him, only one small patch of black lace on all of that toned, olive skin. He thought he might come right there; his dick was so fucking hard right now. He had been taking his sweet time, wanting to learn her body…to taste every damn inch of her, but she was making it so goddamn hard.

His eyes trailed back up her body until he saw the small smile on her face and the intensity in her eyes. She propped herself up on her elbows then and slid one leg up and down against the other and the only thought going through his head was that it there should be a law against being that damn sexy.

"God, this is so much better than my dreams." He said, smiling at her as he climbed back on the bed. He ran his hands up her legs, until he reached her thighs. He ran his hands back and forth, his thumbs sweeping the inside of her thighs. She reached for him, trying to pull her down towards him but he ignored her.

He put a hand on her hip, massaging the skin there. He looked up at her then, seeing she had lay back down.

"Turn over." He said.

Olivia was slightly surprised. It wasn't that she'd never had any man take her from behind, but she hadn't expected that from him, at least not tonight. She raised an eyebrow at him, questioning the command. Because it was, indeed, a command.

"I've been staring at your ass for years Liv. I want to see it."

Olivia laughed then. But she lifted one leg up and Elliot moved to the side as Olivia flipped over on her stomach. Then, in a move that hit Elliot square in the groin, she looked back at him and spread her legs to accommodate him. Elliot swallowed hard, realizing that he probably hadn't even seen a fraction of the seductress she could be. He moved between her legs, staying on his knees and saw that the small patch of lace was a thong, a thin string of lace running down her ass.

Elliot sat there for a minute, his eyes running over her ass and up her spine. She had her arms splayed over her head and her hair was fanned out around her head and he could see she had her eyes closed. As he watched, she raised her ass off the bed slightly. "Touch me." She whispered as her hips met the bed once more. As he watched, she moved against the bed with a slow rhythm, her ass clenching when she lifted off the bed.

Elliot placed his hands on the back of her thighs, and then ran them up to her ass, squeezing and lifting her cheeks in his hands. He leaned over and placed a kiss on one cheek and then the other. He continued to massage them as he placed kisses on her lower back, trailing his tongue partway up her spine. Goosebumps broke out across her skin and he placed more kisses on her lower back. He ran his tongue down the thin thread of material, pulling her cheeks apart slightly as he moved down to her core. He slid his tongue through the slickness there and groaned at how wet she was.

His hands moved back to the tops of her thighs and his thumbs spread her lips as his tongue teased her entrance. Olivia let out a long low moan; she tried to lift her ass up but Elliot held her in place with his hands as he teased her with his fingers and his tongue. He slid his tongue between her folds until he hit her clit and she let out a string of swear words that made him smile. He continued to slide his tongue back and forth and Olivia was moaning, her hands grabbing the sheets. When Elliot thrust his tongue inside her, her entire body clenched as she came hard against his mouth. He continued to tease her as she rode out her orgasm, leaving her gasping.

Elliot moved back on his knees, and ran his hands back over her ass, placing kisses on her ass and up her back as she came down from her orgasm. His arms were braced on either side of her body as he placed kisses on her bare shoulders, and she jumped when his hard-on teased her entrance. Elliot continued to rock against her lightly, never penetrating her, and she let out a small growl.

She placed her hands flat on the bed and pushed her body up, surprising Elliot. He fell to the side of her and Olivia wasted no time in pushing up completely, ending up on her hands and knees. This endless teasing of her body was done. She could give as well as she could get.

"My turn now." She said, her voice deep and husky. She crawled over Elliot's body, straddling him as she dropped her mouth against his. She drove her tongue into his mouth, kissing him hard. She placed kisses down his jaw and then to his neck, sucking and nipping at the skin there. She moved quickly down to his chest, running her hands over his hard body and placing kisses across his chest.

She lined her lower body with his, and with her legs spread as she straddled him, she could feel him starting to penetrate her slightly. She pulled her body up slightly, removing contact and Elliot grabbed her hips, pushing her back down.

She lifted her head and gave him a sultry look from under her eyelashes. "Uh-uh." She teased, mimicking the words he had told her before. She lifted her body up slightly and now it was his turn to let out a cry of frustration.

"Liv." He moaned.

She laughed as she continued to move her mouth down his abs and she felt his body tense as she moved closer to her intended target. She placed a hand on his hips and hovered over his erection. She shot him another sultry look, a licked her lips and he let out a loud groan. The thought of that mouth on him… He'd had dreams like this, but he was pretty sure this was going to kill him.

Olivia ran her hands down his length, circling the base with her hand and squeezing gently. She ran her tongue around the tip and Elliot groaned loudly as she took him in her mouth. It took all of his concentration not to thrust up into her mouth. She slid down his length slowly, the pressure of her lips causing insane friction and he closed his eyes, willing himself not to come in her mouth. She continued to slide up and down his length, taking him deep in her mouth and her muscles clenched as she thought about having him inside her.

"Liv." He said, his voice cracking. He reached down and grabbed her shoulders. He needed her to stop; he was at the edge of his control. She looked up at him, and pulled her mouth from him, licking her lips.

"Jesus woman." He said. The look in her eyes and the small smile on her lips. She knew exactly what she did to him. This woman was pure sin.

She moved back up his body, placing kisses on his abdomen and his chest. She pushed herself up, standing up on the bed, her feet on either side of his hips.

Elliot furrowed his brow. "What are you doing?" He asked.

Olivia cocked her hip, and she hooked her fingers in the sides of her thong, giving him a small, sexy smile. She dragged them down her hips slowly, playing every bit the seductress and Elliot just watched her, taking in her long legs, her full breasts, her flushed skin and her messy hair and his last ounce of control was gone. He sat up, grabbing her hips as her thong fell to her ankles. He pulled her down on the bed, pinning her hands with his next to her head.

"You're a tease Olivia." He said, his voice low. He dropped his mouth to hers, driving his tongue into her mouth as he moved his knees between her thighs, pushing her legs apart. He was at her entrance a second after that, and Olivia gasped as he thrust into her, filling her completely. Her hips bucked up at the sudden intrusion and she spread her legs and lifted her hips slightly to accommodate him.

Elliot ripped his mouth from hers and let out a loud groan, his head dropping against her shoulder. "Fuck." He started to move inside of her, pulling out and then driving back inside her. He was going slowly, feeling every inch of her around him.

Olivia wrapped her legs around him, urging him deeper. She pushed against his hands, wanting run her hands over his body, but he was too focused…he didn't let go. This slow pace was driving her insane and she pushed her hips up against him.

He lifted his head and looked at her, a small smile on his face, and she knew he was enjoying this long, slow torture.

"Elliot." She growled. "Goddamnit." She wondered if having sex with him was always going to be like this; this fight to be in charge…to control things. "Faster." She gasped, hoping he would listen to her.

He dropped his mouth against her neck, nipping at the skin there as he moved faster inside of her. Harder. Their bodies were slamming together and Elliot knew he wasn't going to last long. Her mouth on him had done him in and he needed to come. He rotated his hips and a sound ripped from her throat, and Elliot knew he had hit the right spot inside of her. He kept up the motion and her could feel her body clenching around him and he knew she was close.

"Cum for me." He rasped out. He dropped his mouth to her breast, biting lightly on her peaked nipple and he felt her entire body shudder as she came around him. Her walls clenched him like a vise and he hurtled over the edge, releasing deep inside of her. He let go of her hands then as he tried to regain his balance, not wanting to drop his weight on her. She had her legs wrapped tightly around him, holding him tightly inside of her and he could feel her muscles continuing to contract.

"Jesusfuckingchrist." Elliot moaned as her body forced every last ounce from his body. He collapsed on top of her, catching himself on his elbows as he tried not to crush her under his weight.

Olivia snaked her arms around his neck, bringing his mouth to hers. She kissed him hungrily, teeth and tongue and lips clashing. She released his mouth, letting out a small moan as he shifted slightly inside her.

Elliot buried his face in her neck. "God Liv. I lo…" he felt her tense slightly beneath him and he didn't finish his sentence. "I could stay like this forever." He whispered, kissing her neck.

Olivia pushed her hips up and loosened her legs. "No, you can't." she joked. "I need you to move." She didn't want him to pull out of her, but she needed his weight off of her and her thighs were stretched to the extreme. Elliot laughed against her shoulder. "You're done with me now?" he teased as he pulled out slowly and landed on his back next to her. Olivia closed her legs, taking in some deep breaths.

She sat up and gave him a big smile. "Yes. Now I've gotten what I wanted…" her voice trailed off as she started to move towards the end of the bed.

Elliot sat up, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her back down on the bed. He rolled over on his side, his hand splayed against her stomach. "You're not going anywhere. You may be done with me, but I'm not done with you yet."


	8. Chapter 8

_From previous chapter:_

 _Elliot sat up, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her back down on the bed. He rolled over on his side, his hand splayed against her stomach. "You're not going anywhere. You may be done with me, but I'm not done with you yet."_

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia laughed as Elliot leaned down to kiss her, and she rolled over on her side towards him, tangling her legs with his. She turned her head away from him, and placed open mouthed kisses along his chest.

"What makes you think you're in charge?" she asked.

Elliot pushed her back down on the bed. "I'll let you be in charge. As long as you don't get out of this bed." He said, growling against her mouth as he placed another kiss on her lips. He dropped his mouth down to her ear, trailing his tongue around the shell of her ear, and then down to her neck. His hand moved from her stomach back up to her breasts and a small sound escaped her as placed a knee between her legs, pushing up lightly.

Olivia's body was still sensitive and she knew it wasn't going to take much for Elliot to take her over the edge again. She trailed her hand down his waist until she reached his ass, squeezing lightly. She was about to make a smart comment about having watched his ass as much as he'd watched hers, when she heard a cell phone ringing.

They both froze, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. Olivia knew she had left her phone in the kitchen; this was too close so it had to be Elliot's. It rang again and Olivia had worked with Elliot long enough to know the ring tone indicating a call from home. She tensed and saw the slightly panicked look on Elliot's face as he looked down at her.

"I have to get it." He said, his eyes watching her. They had an agreement that Kathy would try not to bother him when he was at work, so he always worried it was something important.

Olivia couldn't bring herself to speak, so she gave him a quick nod.

Elliot reached over the edge of the bed and snagged his jeans, fishing the cell phone out of his back pocket. "Stabler." He answered, despite knowing it was a call from home. He wasn't thinking clearly, his focus on watching Olivia and her reaction. "Yeah. Hey Lizzie." He made sure he said her name so Olivia knew it wasn't Kathy. "Hmm. Yeah baby. I know. Yep. 10AM tomorrow. I'll be there. I didn't forget." He paused, listening to Liz on the other end. "Yes, Olivia will make sure I leave work in time." He gave Olivia a small smile as his youngest worried he wouldn't leave work in time to get to the school talent show. Even his family knew that Olivia was the one on top of those things. "Your mom's asking what? Oh. No, I don't think I'm going to be home for dinner." Another pause. "Sorry hon. I don't know when I'm going to be home. But I'll see you for sure tomorrow." There was another pause. "OK. I love you." He hung up, rolling over on his back and putting his cell phone on the nightstand.

When he rolled back over towards Olivia, he saw she had moved so her back was to him. He scrubbed his hand over his face, worried that his was going to be a repeat of the scene from two weeks ago. He wasn't sure what to say. He had no idea what she was thinking right now, and he couldn't see her face.

"That was Liz." He said, wanting to be sure she knew it wasn't Kathy.

"I heard." She said quietly.

He placed a hand on her upper arm, and he was surprised when she didn't offer any resistance as he pulled her back over to face him. He looked down into her eyes, and was glad that he didn't see any tears.

"I'm sorry, but I had to get it. It could have been something critical."

"I know." She said, looking up at the ceiling. She knew this was all part of what she signed up for; part of being in an affair. Because despite the fact that this was only the second time they'd slept together, there was no doubt in her mind that this would be a full blown affair. "It's fine. I'm fine."

"Liv. Look at me." When her eyes met his, he could see she was unsettled. "I'm right where I want to be. Don't doubt that." He placed a hand on her cheek and leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head and he pulled back.

Olivia turned back to look at him, shaking her head slightly. "I know. But that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty. You just lied to your daughter."

"I didn't lie to her. I told her that I didn't know when I would be home."

"She thinks you're working."

"I never said that." He said, his voice louder than he wanted. He didn't want to argue with her. He didn't want her to get upset and hole up in the bathroom again. "I never said that." He said more quietly. He let out another heavy sigh. "What do you want me to do?"

Olivia looked up at him; she wasn't sure what he was asking her. Was he asking her if she wanted to continue this affair? She had already answered that by asking him to come upstairs. Was he asking her if she wanted him to leave his wife and his family? She would never ask him to do that; that decision was up to him.

Elliot saw the conflicting emotions in her face. He didn't want to push her; he was leaving all of this in her hands. He thought he had gotten the message when she kept from talking about things over the past two weeks. He had been genuinely surprised when she had asked him upstairs. Happy, but surprised. He just needed her to understand that he had made his choice…and his choice was her.

"Liv." He reached out again, brushing her hair back from her face. "I want to stay." He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "OK?"

She looked at him a moment longer before she nodded her head slightly. "OK." She said, her voice a whisper. She sat up, pulling the sheet up around her. "Just give me a minute, OK?" She climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom and she heard Elliot let out a heavy sigh. She realized that this scene was familiar and she stopped and turned and saw him lying on his back, one arm thrown across his eyes.

"El." He moved his arm and turned to look at her. "I really just need a minute. But I'll be right back." She gave him a small smile. "I want you to stay." She went into the bathroom and shut the door.

Elliot threw his arm over his eyes again. _What the hell was he doing?_ He knew she was in the bathroom right now, beating herself up about this, despite her words and her decision to invite him up. She had always had some kind of misplaced sense of responsibility for his family. He knew they couldn't keep doing this. The guilt would eat them both alive. And it wasn't fair to Olivia. Or Kathy.

He heard the toilet flush, and then water running. He took that as a good sign. Maybe she really did just need a minute and wasn't in there agonizing over everything. He sat up when he heard the bathroom door open and he saw her walk out, now wrapped in a short, white robe. She ran her hands through her hair and she stopped just outside the bathroom. He could see the change in her demeanor and braced himself for what was going to come next.

"So." She started. She really didn't really know what she wanted to happen next. She couldn't really compare this to any other relationships or one night stands she'd had. Those were easy; she never wanted any of them to spend the night. But now she was torn between sending Elliot home and asking him to stay. She really didn't know where things were going to end up tonight, but he was here for now. "I'm hungry. Want some dinner?"

Elliot let out a breath, giving her a smile and nodding. "That sounds great." He stood up and snagged his boxers and his jeans, pulling them up over his hips. Olivia hesitated a moment, watching him, and then walked over towards him as he grabbed his t-shirt. She pulled it out of his hand and dropped it on the bed.

"Leave the shirt off." She turned around then and headed out to the living room and Elliot smiled as he watched her go. They were both trying to figure this out, but he was glad to see that Olivia wasn't pushing him away and for that, he was glad.

He followed her out and saw she was in the kitchen pulling take-out menus out of the drawer. She looked up as he walked into the room. "I've been gone all week. I have no food in the house. Sorry."

Elliot leaned against the counter next to her, folding his arms. "That's OK. I get it."

"What do you want?" she asked, looking up at him. She saw the small smirk on his face and slapped him lightly on the arm. "to eat." She said and then saw a full blown smile cross his face. "Get your mind out of the gutter Stabler." She said, giving him a big smile in return.

"I can't help it. You bring out the devil in me." He said, leaning in closer.

She pushed him back, shaking her head. "If you don't help me decide, then I'm just going to choose."

"Do you want to go out?"

"You asking me out on a date?" she teased and then the smile dropped from her face as she realized what she said. There would be no dates…she was sleeping with a married man. She quickly tried to recover. "I mean…take-out is fine."

Elliot saw her discomfort. "Liv. We can go out to eat. We eat meals together all the time."

"Not after we've just had sex." She said.

"What…you think people will be able to tell we just had sex? I mean I know I have a big smile on my face…" he tried to tease her and lighten the tension.

Olivia let out a big sigh, not biting. "Let's just eat in, OK?"

"Whatever you want." Elliot said, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

EOEOEOEO

They had decided to order a pizza and Olivia had excused herself while he settled on the couch with a beer in hand. He turned on the TV and found a baseball game and waited for her to come back out. When she did, he was a little disappointed to see that she had gotten rid of the robe in favor of some leggings and a zip up hoodie. Not that he wanted their whole relationship to be about sex…it definitely wasn't. Everything else had come before that and he was happy about that. It was just another sign of the change in the mood for the evening.

Elliot motioned to the beer on the coffee table. "I opened a beer for you."

She gave him a smile and walked over. "You know you don't have to get me drunk right?" she said, settling down on the couch next to him.

He smiled at the teasing tone of her voice and relaxed as she sat down next to him. "I don't want you drunk Benson." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "That takes the fun out of it."

"You're horrible." She said.

"And you love it." He said, giving her another kiss.

Olivia picked up her beer and turned her attention to the TV. "What's this?"

"It's called baseball. Maybe you've heard of it?"

"You're pushing your luck Stabler. I'm going to kick you out on your ass." She elbowed him in the ribs lightly and he feigned hurt.

"You're going to pay for that." He said playfully.

She started to get up off the couch and he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back on the couch, pushing her down on her back. He had one knee on the couch as he leaned over her.

"Are you ticklish Liv?" He ran his hands up her sides under the sweatshirt and started tickling her on her sides before the realization hit him that he had met bare skin beneath the sweatshirt. Olivia was trying to push his hands off her, laughing, when he stopped.

He raised his eyebrows at her and she saw a question on his face.

He reached for the zipper of her sweatshirt. "Are you not wearing anything underneath this sweatshirt?" he asked, his voice low. He swung his other leg up on the couch, moving her body away from the back with his knee and straddling her.

She pushed up against him, a small smile on her face. "That's for me to know and you to find out." She said, laughing as she pushed his hands away from the zipper and tried to buck his body off the couch.

"Oh, I'm going to find out." He said in a lusty tone. He grabbed her hands and pinned the above her head, and she swallowed hard as he dropped his mouth to her chest. He placed kisses on the exposed skin and then trailed his tongue down her cleavage until he reached the zipper. He took the pull in his teeth and slowly started to unzip her sweatshirt, keeping his eyes focused as her skin was exposed.

"Shit Liv." He muttered, when he realized that she was, in fact, naked beneath her sweatshirt. She had stilled beneath him and he had gotten the zipper about halfway down when he stopped and looked up at her. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked, and he saw some hesitation on her face.

"No." she said, a little breathlessly. She had decided that she had no control over this thing any more. There was no plan. She had to just see where things went and try to adjust as they went along. She pushed her hips up into his and she could feel the beginning of an erection forming already. She smiled, loving the effect she had on him. "I don't want you to stop."

Elliot let out a small growl and grabbed one side of the sweatshirt, peeling it back with his teeth. Olivia laughed and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling his erection right between her legs.

"Jesus." Elliot groaned.

Olivia pushed her hands up, and Elliot released them. She was just moving her hands to his head as he took her breast in his mouth when they heard the buzzer go off.

Elliot lifted his head. "What the fuck is that?"

Olivia laughed. "Dinner's here."

"No. No. No." Elliot said, shaking his head. "I've got everything I need right here." He placed a kiss on her chest.

The buzzer went off again and Olivia released her legs from around Elliot's hips. "You have to let him in."

Elliot groaned loudly. "Really?"

Olivia nodded. "Really. I'm starving."

"Liv." He sat back. "You are going to kill me."

She smiled back at him. "Get the door El."

EOEOEOEO

They had just finished eating when Olivia heard her cell phone ring. She hopped up from the couch and snagged it off the kitchen counter.

"Benson." She said, without bothering to look at the Caller ID. She listened as she walked back into the living room and sat down next to Elliot. She laughed at what the caller had said. "You want me to be your date?" She looked over at Elliot and saw the set of his jaw, the muscles working there. "Casey, you know I hate those things." She said and saw Elliot raise an eyebrow at her. She was listening to whatever Casey was saying to convince her. "Fine. Fine." Olivia said, rolling her eyes. "Yes, I have a dress I can wear." She shook her head. "No, I'll just meet you there. 8. Sounds good." Another pause. "Bye Case."

She hung up the phone and fell against the back of the couch with a big sigh.

"What was that about?" asked Elliot.

She turned her head to look at him without lifting it off the back of the couch. "She has to go to some fundraising gala tomorrow night and her date canceled on her and she doesn't want to go alone. So she's going to make me go with her. I hate those things."

"Don't go."

Olivia furrowed her brow. "It's not that easy."

"Sure it is."

Olivia rolled her eyes. Men. "No. It isn't. I owe her. Plus, she has dirt on me that she always threatens me with." She saw a small smile on his face. "And no, I'm not telling you what it is."

He leaned back on the couch, mimicking her position. "That's OK. I'll get it out of Casey."

"If she hasn't already told you, what makes you think she'll tell you now?"

"Maybe I have some dirt on her." He said, chuckling.

Olivia considered him for a moment and then let it go with a sigh. She knew he was teasing.

"So…it's tomorrow night." It was a statement rather than a question.

Olivia nodded, getting up from the couch. "Yeah. Want another beer or water or something?" she asked as she headed towards the kitchen.

"Water would be good."

Olivia grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator and walked back into the living room. She could see that Elliot had a small pout on his face.

"What's that face for?' she asked, although she was pretty sure she already knew.

"Well, I just thought maybe…"

"That you could come over here?" she asked, finishing his thought for him. He didn't say anything in response, so she kept talking. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"You can't be here every night Elliot. You don't think that's going to raise some suspicion?"

Elliot shrugged. "I dunno. We work a lot."

She shook her head. "You know it wouldn't be very hard for Kathy to call the precinct tonight and find out that you're not working. And we have the weekend off. There's no reason for you to be in the city."

Elliot was silent again. He knew she was right but he was wanted to be here. And he also didn't want her to be out at some event, where she might meet someone else.

"Life goes on Elliot. If we're going to continue this…" she waved her arm back and forth between them, "then we have to act like everything is the same as it was before." He turned away from her then and she reached over, grasping his chin and turning his face back towards hers. "That means no lingering glances in the squad room. No quick kisses in the cribs. I'm going to go out with Casey for drinks and to the gym." She gave him a small smile. "And it also means that no matter how much I might want you here, you can't be here every night."

"Does it mean you're going to date?" he asked, his voice choked.

"Elliot…" she said, her voice had a small amount of warning in it.

He stood up. "Well, excuse me but I've never done this before and I don't know all the rules like you seem to."

Olivia felt hurt; he was throwing the fact that she'd had an affair before back at her. But she knew he was just struggling with this new reality and she let it slide.

"I don't _want_ to go out with anyone else Elliot." She said. "but if someone asks me out, I might go." She knew that having an affair didn't guarantee a future…she still had to look out for herself and the things she wanted. A husband and a family of her own.

"I don't want you to." He said.

"Well, I don't want you to go home to your wife but I guess I don't get a say in that either." She snapped back. "That's why they call it an affair." She stood up and walked over to the windows. "Grow up Elliot." She spun around. "What the hell did you think was going to happen? That's you'd come over here every day after work and we'd have sex and you'd spend the night? She rubbed a hand across her chin. "That's not going to happen."

Elliot listened to what she was saying and he knew it was true. He had created a big mess here and he wasn't being fair to her. He stood up and walked over to her, placing his hands on her waist. He looked down into her eyes.

"I know I don't have any right to tell you what you can and can't do. But it's not something I've been able to control very well over all of these years. And it's going to be even harder now."

"I know." She said.

"I don't want to fight with you." He massaged the skin at her waist. "I just want to ask you if I can please just stay here tonight?" He rushed on before she could say anything. "We don't even have to have sex…unless you want to." He gave her a small smile. "I just want to stay here and be with you. I've always wanted to just hold you and I haven't even had the chance to do that."

"I don't know Elliot." She said, biting her bottom lip.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I just don't want to get used to you being here."

He understood what she was saying, because he had a feeling that once he woke up with his body wrapped around Olivia, he was never going to want to leave.

"Please." He whispered.

Olivia looked up at him and knew the battle was lost. She couldn't deny him anything.

"OK." She said quietly. "But just for tonight."


	9. Chapter 9

Olivia woke up and looked at the clock on her nightstand, noting that it was a little past midnight. She didn't move. Couldn't move. Elliot was wrapped around her body. He had one arm wrapped around her waist, his back flat against hers, his legs tangled between hers and his face buried in her hair. She let out a sigh. This was the second time she'd woken up in the last hour and she knew she wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. She wasn't used to having someone sleep with her, much less wrapped around her body. But she had to say, despite that, it felt nice to know he was here with her.

She was questioning her decision to let him stay, for all of the reasons she had listed in their discussion before. But the biggest reason was that she knew she could get used to this. She knew that on the nights he came and then had to leave, it would be difficult. She let out another sigh and placed her hand over Elliot's at her waist. At this moment in time, he was hers.

Olivia closed her eyes and thought back to the evening before. She had thought it might be awkward to have him spend the evening and then the night, but she had been surprised at how easy it had been. After the short, heated discussion they'd had, they snuggled up on the couch and watched a movie together. It wasn't sexual; they simply relished lying together and doing something "normal". No interruptions. No expectations.

When the movie was done, Elliot had given her a gentle kiss and asked if she was ready for bed, and that was it. Even though they had been partners for years; even though they were having an illicit affair; they had simply gotten up and walked into the bedroom hand in hand.

Elliot had asked her what side of the bed was hers and had tugged off his jeans, climbing under the covers in his boxer briefs after she pointed to the left side of the bed. Olivia went into the bathroom and washed her face, turning off the light as she walked back into the bedroom. Elliot had his arms crossed beneath his head and he looked up at her as she walked towards the bed.

Olivia had unzipped her sweatshirt, dropping it on the floor. She had grabbed the waistband of her leggings and dragged them down her hips, and then she had been standing in front of him completely naked. She had climbed into bed then, snuggling next to him and Elliot had made love to her before they drifted off to sleep.

She could still feel the aftereffects of their lovemaking and she knew she would never grow tired of this. She had promised she wouldn't make any ultimatums and she wouldn't. She had entered into this knowing full well what she was doing. But there were some long nights ahead for sure.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up again, surprised that she had slept until 615. Elliot was still wrapped around her, and she was sore from lying in the same position all night. She pushed back against his body trying to wake him up. "Elliot."

Instead of waking up, he tightened his grip around her waist and pushed his hips and his morning hard-on into her ass. He mumbled something into her hair, but she couldn't make out what it was. He was rocking into her gently and she grabbed his arm from around her waist. She pushed him backwards and his body disconnected from hers.

"What?" he said in a groggy tone.

"Time to get up." Olivia said, looking over at him.

She could see him looking at her and then looking around the room, trying to figure out where he was. She knew that after twenty years of marriage, it would be a surprise to wake up here…but it still pissed her off.

"Morning." He said, a big smile on his face when he woke up enough to know where he was. He reached for her and tried pulling her towards him, but she pushed his hand away.

"Get up." She said, climbing out of bed.

Elliot smiled at her nude form appreciatively and he made another lunge for her. She was too fast and he missed her. "Liv." He said, his tone teasing. "We have some time. Come back to bed." He patted the empty spot she had vacated.

"I need a shower." She said.

Elliot could hear the tone of her voice and knew she was upset. "Hey!" he said, loud enough that she stopped and turned. She narrowed her eyes defiantly, challenging him. He scrambled off the bed, pulling his boxers on. Surprisingly, she stayed in place as he walked over to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked. He stood in front of her, but didn't touch her.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"Bullshit." He said. "Tell me."

She let out a sigh, knowing she was overreacting. But she couldn't seem to help it. "You're not supposed to be here."

Elliot gave her a puzzled expression. "What?"

"This morning, when you woke up. You didn't know where you were. It's because you are supposed to be home…with your wife."

Elliot placed his hand on her shoulder, and bent down slightly so he was looking directly into her eyes. "Olivia. I told you that I wanted to be here. And I do. So stop it."

"But…"

"Stop it. I know I was confused for a moment this morning but that doesn't mean anything." He rubbed his thumb back and forth over her shoulder. He could see she was relaxing a bit…losing that pissed off look on her face. "OK?"

Olivia let out a sigh. "OK. I just…" There was just so much change she could handle at one time and her emotions were all over the place. She had to just calm down.

"I know." He kissed her forehead and pulled her against his chest. "I know." He held her until her breathing slowed. He kissed the top of her head. "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll get some coffee going?"

She nodded, letting out a deep breath. "OK." She pulled back and walked into the bathroom.

Elliot watched her go, wishing their morning had started off a little differently, because taking a shower with Olivia Benson was on his bucket list. He sighed. He would have to save that for another day. He headed for the kitchen to make some coffee.

He heard the shower go off a full twenty minutes later and he laughed. He knew Olivia could get ready quickly. He had gotten enough middle of the night calls where he had picked her up in 30 minutes to know she could do it. And still look flawless. He hadn't expected a long shower in the morning. He poured a mug of coffee and walked into the bedroom, knocking on the bathroom door.

"Come in." her voice sounded a lot brighter than just a half an hour ago. He opened the door and saw her standing at the bathroom mirror with a towel wrapped around her and knotted at her breasts. Her hair was damp, looking like she had dried it with a towel. She was leaning in towards the mirror, putting on some make-up.

He handed her the steaming mug and she smiled at him. "Thank you." She set it down and went back to putting on her make-up. He leaned against the door jamb, watching her.

"You know…." He commented. "I think you look more beautiful without make-up."

She out a small snort. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious."

"You're delusional." She said, smiling. "But I appreciate the compliment."

She obviously wasn't going to listen to him, so he dropped it. He smiled. "OK if I take a shower?" he asked.

Olivia shrugged. "Sure. There are clean towels on the shelf there."

Elliot pulled off his boxers and came up behind her at the mirror. He draped his body against hers and rested his chin on her shoulder. He moved his hand to the knot holding her towel around her breasts. "I thought maybe I'd borrow yours." He said, pulling at the knot and releasing the towel.

She looked at his reflection in the mirror next to hers and saw the cheeky grin on his face.

"Wash my back?"

"We don't have time." She said, smiling at the hopeful expression on his face.

"We have lots of time." He placed a kiss on her shoulder. "We'll be quick."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I don't think that's possible."

"If it's a choice between being quick or not at all, I can be quick." He said, pushing his hard-on against her ass.

"I swear…are you in high school? Isn't it unhealthy to be this horny at your age?" she teased him.

"You're wasting time." He complained. "Besides…it's all your fault." He ran his hands up her stomach to her breasts, taking them in his hands and massaging them gently. "If you weren't so goddamned sexy, I wouldn't be walking around with a permanent hard on."

She bumped her ass back into him. "With that logic, you've been walking around with a hard-on for years."

"Damn right." He growled in her ear.

Olivia had braced her arms on the counter, and she let her head drop back and her eyes close as Elliot kept squeezing her breasts lightly. He ran his thumb over her nipple on her left breast, and his right hand trailed down her stomach. He felt her muscles contract as he moved to his intended target and her breathing quickened in anticipation.

"The shower." She said breathily.

"Fuck the shower." Elliot said. He separated his body from hers slightly, moving his hardened member between her thighs, sliding between her folds and feeling the slickness there. "Sweet Jesus." He moaned as he was coated in her juices. He looked up and watched her in the mirror. Her dark nipples peaked, her chest flushed. He slid his hand down her body, sliding a finger down until he found her clit. He pulled his hips backward and knocked her legs apart slightly with his knees. Olivia dropped her head forward while she widened her stance and Elliot positioned himself at her entrance. He ran his free hand down her spine and then back down again, letting his hand slip around her waist…then her stomach…holding her in place with that hand while he teased her clit. She let out a long, low moan and pushed her hips back into him.

He hadn't meant for this to happen here. He knew this wasn't the most intimate of positions. But God she was driving him insane and he wanted to take her here and now.

As if reading his mind, Olivia lifted her head and looked at him in the mirror. Her arms were trembling as he continued to slide his fingers through her folds, hitting her clit over and over again.

"Fuck me El." She said, her voice low and sultry. The things this man did to her…she was so turned on right now. She dropped her head again and pushed her ass back against him. He pulled his hand from between her legs and up and over her hips. He dropped one hand to her entrance from behind, sliding two fingers inside of her; he needed to make sure she was wet and ready for him. She groaned loudly, her muscles clenching around his fingers.

He swore under his breath once again. He pulled his fingers out of her, getting a small complaint from her. He grabbed her hip with one hand and used his other hand to line himself up.

"Liv." He said, his voice deep and rough.

She lifted her eyes to meet his in the mirror, not lifting her head. As soon as her eyes met his, he pushed into her completely. Her breath hitched and he saw her eyes close as a loud moan ripped from her throat.

"OK?" he asked, buried deep inside her.

"Move." She gasped out.

Elliot pulled out and drove back into her, causing her arms to buckle slightly. She braced her arms again as he pulled out and drove into her again. Olivia was moaning as she absorbed each thrust and her muscles were clenching tightly around him. It was ridiculous the effect he had on her, and she could feel her orgasm building. She knew it was only a matter of seconds before she came.

"ohgodohgod." She moaned. She tightened her muscles and when Elliot fucked into her that time, she lost it, her legs giving out as her orgasm ripped through her body. Elliot wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her up as he continued his motions. The sensations running through her body with each thrust were becoming overwhelming.

"Fuck." She rasped. "I need you to…" she couldn't even finish the sentence as Elliot continued to thrust into her and she although she had never been a screamer she felt like screaming now. But before any more sound could rip from her throat, she felt Elliot come, letting go deep inside of her. He grunted as he held his body tight against hers and she could barely hold his weight on her arms. They gave way so she was resting on her forearms on the counter as he made small thrusts into her, his body shuddering against hers.

He finally stopped moving and dropped his head against her back and now she was lying almost flat against the counter. She tried to push up with her body. She couldn't breathe but her strength was sapped.

"El." She rasped out and Elliot lifted up slightly, pulling out of her gently before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against her body. He looked at her in the mirror and placed a kiss on top of her head.

He dropped his head near her ear and placed small kisses along her ear and her cheek. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he knew she wouldn't allow that. He wanted to tell her that she was amazing and that if he lived to be 100, he would never, ever get tired of this. He just felt so overwhelmed with emotion…he felt like his words were going to be inadequate. He had never been good with emotions. He didn't know what to do with them or how to get the words out.

His eyes connected with hers again and he saw a small smile there.

She knew.

 _AN: I know everyone is struggling with this story and I hope you can see the struggle they're going through too. But it will all work out. It always does. Leave a review!_


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia and Elliot rushed into the precinct, almost an hour late.

"I can't believe we're this late." Olivia complained, shooting him a dirty look as they waited for the elevator. She was holding a garment bag with her dress for tonight and another small bag with shoes and other items she was going to need. Elliot hadn't been happy this morning when she was packing everything up, commenting on her dress (it showed too much skin), her underwear (why bother) and the plans in general (men are going to be all over you). They had avoided an argument but it still had taken them way too long to get out of her apartment that morning. "Cragen is going to kill us."

Elliot wiggled his eyebrows at her and gave her a wide grin. "It was worth it." He said and Olivia slapped him on the arm as she looked around to see who was in earshot.

"Knock it off." She hissed. She hated being late and she tried to think of a legitimate excuse if she was called on it. She knew they worked lots of hours and Cragen probably didn't care, but she always felt like they were on thin ice with him to some degree.

The walked into the elevator and the doors closed. "This is all your fault." She said, shooting him another dirty look.

He feigned innocence. "My fault? I was just trying to take a shower and you distracted me."

She started to say something else when the elevator doors opened and they stepped out. Elliot headed towards the locker room.

"I'm going to put on some clean clothes." He snagged her bags as he walked away. "I'll put these in your locker."

Olivia walked into the squad room and saw Cragen standing near her desk talking to Munch and Fin. Fin shot her a warning look but it was too late. Cragen turned to face her.

"Thanks for joining us today Detective." He said in a sarcastic tone. His stood staring at her, obviously waiting for an explanation.

"Well, Elliot got caught up in traffic on his way into the city and he was giving me a ride and I shouldn't have waited for him but." She didn't finish the sentence since she really didn't know what to say.

A puzzled look crossed the Captain's face and Olivia felt her gut clench as he interrupted her. "Elliot?" he asked. "Is he here? He said he wasn't coming in this morning because he had something at school with the kids."

Well, _shit._

He must have forgotten that little detail. She wanted to kill him for putting her in this awkward situation.

"Um. He does have something at school but…" Shit. Shit. Shit. Her mind wasn't working fast enough. "I don't know why he changed his mind about coming in first."

"He said he wasn't going to come into the city just to turn around and go back again. Maybe he forgot about it."

"No, he didn't forget. He mentioned it this morning." Olivia said, since they had talked about it on the ride in.

Before Cragen could comment, Elliot walked into the squad room. Cragen turned to him. "Elliot. I'm surprised to see you here. You said you were going to be in late because you had that thing with the kids and you weren't going to come in first."

"Damn. I forgot all about that Cap'n." He looked over at Olivia and saw the expression on her face, but was unable to decipher it. "Why didn't you remind me Liv? Now I have to drive all the way back to Queens."

Olivia watched the next few minutes play out like a car crash. There was nothing she could do to stop it. Because she knew this wasn't going to go well.

Cragen looked back and forth between the two of them, his eyes narrowing. He wasn't sure what was up but he'd caught them in some kind of deception. It didn't surprise him. Those two were always covering up for each other. "Maybe next time you're going to be late, you get your stories straight before you lie to my face."

Olivia dropped into her chair, keeping her face neutral and avoiding Elliot's stare. So much for keeping a low profile.

"I was just handing out assignments. Elliot, go to your kids' school thing and then get your ass back here." He looked over at Olivia. "Olivia. You get to go to Rikers with Fin and talk to a witness that may know something about this case we just got. Fin can fill you in on the details." Olivia looked up at him and nodded, happy to be leaving the squad room.

Cragen walked back into his office and Olivia let out a sigh of relief. She shot Elliot a dirty look but he just shrugged his shoulders at her. He stood up and grabbed his jacket. "Well, I guess I'm driving back to Queens."

He heard a snort from Fin, but ignored him.

"Liv. Can I talk to you a minute before I go?"

"No. Fin and I have to get going." She stood up and looked at Fin, who was leaning back in his chair.

"I'm in no rush. You two are fun to watch." He said, smiling at the two of them.

Olivia cocked her head. "Fin. We have to get going." She said sternly. She did not want to talk to Elliot and raise any more suspicion, and she didn't want Cragen coming out of his office and start asking questions again.

Fin stood up and eyed Stabler as he walked by. "Looks like you're in the shithouse again Stabler. They have a permanent room for you there."

Fin walked by with a smirk on his face and followed Olivia out of the squad room.

EOEOEOEOEO

Fin was driving and he started in on her right away.

"So Stabler on your shit list?" Fin asked. He didn't like Elliot and he never made any attempt to hide it. "I don't know why you let him get away with the shit he does."

Olivia looked out the window. She knew Fin didn't know anything. He was just fishing, and probably not even very seriously. He just liked it when she was mad at Elliot. "It's fine Fin."

"C'mon Liv. He's an asshole. Do you need me to kick his ass?" He loved Olivia; just like everyone in the unit. She was the heart and soul of SVU, and he thought she put up with way too much shit from Elliot.

She looked over at him. "Just drop it, OK?" She really didn't want to get into this conversation with him. She knew that whatever she told Fin, he would keep in confidence. But she also knew that if she told him that she was sleeping with Elliot, Fin would be even harder on him.

"A 'wright. I hear you." He said, turning his attention back to the road in front of him.

Olivia's cell phone rang as they drove down the FDR. "Benson."

"Liv."

Olivia let out a heavy sigh when she heard Elliot's voice and she shot a look over at Fin. "Yeah."

"Why wouldn't you talk to me? I wanted to find out what the hell you said to Cragen."

"What _I_ said?" she asked.

"Yeah. He obviously thinks we're lying about something." Elliot said and Olivia remembered that he wasn't in the squad room for the first part of the conversation.

She looked over at Fin again and then back out the window. "Now isn't a good time." She said, hoping Elliot got the hint. He had to know she was in the car with Fin.

"Well, I wanted to know before I get back to the precinct."

"Yeah, we can discuss that case when you get back." Olivia said, trying to keep Fin off track. "We should be back before you."

"Liv."

"OK, bye." She said and hung up. She knew he would be pissed off, but she didn't know why he thought she could talk right now. She turned the sound off and stuck her phone back in her pocket.

She looked over at Fin and saw him shaking his head. She looked back out the windshield, not even bothering to reply.

EOEOEOEOEO

Almost as soon as Elliot got back to the squad room, he was sent out on a case with Munch. He didn't get back until almost 7, and he didn't see Olivia anywhere in the squad room. He looked over at Fin and was going to ask him, but decided against it. He sat down in his chair and started filling in his notes from the case. He was slightly pissed off that she had hung up on him earlier in the day, but he knew she really couldn't talk with Fin in the car. Still…she hadn't called him back all afternoon.

Elliot was focused on his paperwork when he heard Munch let out a loud wolf whistle. He looked at him, turned in his chair and facing the stairs. He turned to the stairs and saw the reason for Munch's admiration.

Olivia was walking down the stairs in the dress she had picked to wear tonight. It was a deep midnight blue which looked amazing against her skin. The dress was strapless, hugging her breasts and then dipping in to accent her waist before becoming a little fuller over her hips and dropping to the floor. She was wearing a silver necklace and some matching bangles on her wrist and Elliot ran is eyes from top to bottom and up again until he settled on her face. She had darkened her eyes with dark shadow, eyeliner and mascara, and her hair was swept up with a few strands hanging down.

Olivia was a beautiful woman. This wasn't any surprise to any of them. But they saw her every day in black slacks or jeans…jackets and boots…a gun on her hip. But walking down those steps in that dress, she wasn't Detective Benson. She was Olivia. And she was fucking stunning.

"Have mercy." Elliot mumbled under his breath as she walked towards them. Elliot stood up and looked to his right. He saw that Fin and Munch had both stood up as well.

"Olivia. You look stunning." Said Munch, taking the words right out of his mouth.

Olivia smiled at Munch. "Thank you." She didn't have a lot of opportunity to dress up, and she never considered herself a girly-girl. She worked in a macho environment…surrounded by lots of testosterone and sexual deviants, and she worked hard to come across as a badass. A consummate profession. Her only bow to femininity being the lingerie she wore beneath her clothes and a regular trip to the spa, including a manicure and pedicure. But sometimes it was nice to dress up and feel like a woman. Someone that attracts someone's eye.

And right now, she could feel Elliot's eyes on her. She felt a small blush creep into her cheeks as she walked over to where he was standing with Fin.

"Shit Liv." Fin said. "Who's the lucky guy?" He looked over at Elliot when he said it, knowing it would make him mad.

"Casey." She said, laughing.

"Ooh. A little girl on girl action. I like it." Said Munch. "Can I watch?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Sorry John. Not tonight."

"Some other night?"

She shook her head. "You wish."

"Yes, I do." He said, laughing along with her.

"Casey's date canceled on her so I agreed to go to some fundraising event with her. That's all." She saw Munch's smile fade in mock disappointment. "Sorry John."

"Well." Said Fin. "You'd better pack you gun somewhere in there because you're gonna be fighting 'em off tonight." He motioned towards her. "Course, I'm not sure where you'd stash a gun." He turned to Elliot. "Got any ideas Stabler?"

Eliot shot him a dirty look. 'Shut up Fin."

He moved towards Olivia, putting his body in between her and the other two. "Can I get a minute with you before you go?"

He heard Fin chuckle behind him and he didn't even want to hear the smart remark he was holding back.

Elliot motioned towards the hallway outside the squad room and started walking, giving her no option but to move or else he was going to crash his body into hers.

"I just have a minute before I have to go."

They walked out into the hallway and Olivia turned to face Elliot. He was standing in her personal space and she took a step back to distance herself slightly. She didn't need any more rumors about them going around the precinct.

"You look ravishing." He said, leaning his arm against the wall near her shoulder. He leaned in slightly and whispered in her ear. "I want to push you up against this wall and kiss you." He smiled when he saw goosebumps break out across Olivia's skin.

"Stop it." She said quietly, looking around again. "You are going to get us in trouble." She pushed her hand against his chest, causing him to take a step back and his hand to drop from the wall.

'Don't go." He said.

Olivia furrowed her brows. "What?"

"You heard me." He said, a serious expression on his face. "Let's go to your place."

"You're serious." It was a statement and not a question.

"Yeah." He said, unfazed by her expression.

She shook her head, almost imperceptibly. "I'm going out with Casey." Another statement. "And you need to go home." She wanted nothing more than to ditch Casey and drag Elliot home. She really did. But they weren't dating…they couldn't spend every free minute together. It didn't work like that. "You haven't been home in two days." She pressed her lips together, hoping he understand that there had to be some discretion; some balance or this wasn't going to work. Elliot wasn't deceptive by nature, so she knew this was hard for him. She also wasn't sure how much of this was desire to spend some time with her vs. having her spend time in a social setting without him. She needed to provide some reassurance.

She looked around again, making sure no one was in earshot. "I'm not going out and looking for some guy to hook up with."

Elliot scrubbed a hand over his face and she could see the tension in his jaw. "I know."

"You don't believe me?" she challenged.

Elliot let out a big sigh. "I do. But that doesn't mean you might not meet someone."

"I don't have time for this. I have to get going." She knew that no matter how much reassurance she gave him; he wasn't going to let it go. She started to walk towards the elevators, but he reached out and placed a hand on her upper arm, stopping her. She let out a sigh and he dropped his hand. She turned back towards him.

"Will you text me when you get home?" he asked. He felt like an ass asking her. He knew it sounded like he was checking up on her, but in reality, he just knew he would worry if she made it home safely.

"Elliot."

"I just want to know you're home safely." He answered quickly. "Nothing more."

Olivia didn't believe him completely but she didn't have time to argue about it. "OK." She turned back towards the elevators and walked a few more steps until she stabbed the button. She could feel his eyes on her and she knew he was still a little upset. She turned back around towards him and gave him a smile.

"I'll text you later." She said, the annoyance gone from her voice.

"Thanks." He said. She turned back towards the elevator, and stepped in as the doors opened. Elliot walked over to the open door, and put his hand against it so it wouldn't close. He paused then, because once again, the words he wanted to say weren't coming to mind.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I…" He looked up at her and she gave him a small smile. Once again, he felt overwhelmed with how much he loved her, but he knew he couldn't say it. "You look beautiful." He said. She puckered her lips and made a small kissing sound and he smiled. He backed up and let the doors close.

EOEOEOEO

Even though it was almost 8PM by the time he got home, Kathy had held dinner for him. He gave her a kiss on the cheek as she put dinner on the table and called the twins, and they all sat down to eat.

"It's nice to have you home." Kathy said. "You haven't been home for dinner all week."

Elliot sighed at her slightly passive-aggressive comment. He turned to his youngest daughter, deciding to ignore it. "I really enjoyed the talent contest today." He smiled at Liz. "The dance you and your friends did was really good."

Dickie rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you were in that lame show." He said. He loved to give his twin a hard time.

"You're just jealous you don't have any talent."

"Oh please. I could have done anything else and it would have been more interesting." Dickie replied.

Kathy told them to knock it off and Elliot focused on his dinner. He couldn't get the image of Olivia in that dress out of his mind, and he wished he had snapped a photo of her. It occurred to him that even after all of these years together, they only had a few random snapshots of them together.

"Elliot!"

He looked up and realized Kathy must have said his name a few times because she had a slightly annoyed look on her face.

"Yeah?"

"I was asking if you have to work this weekend."

"Um. No." he said. "But you never know. We might get called in." It was partially a lie. He wasn't on call this weekend but there was always a remote chance he could get called in if things really went south. In reality, he was just giving himself an out, even though Olivia hadn't said anything about getting together this weekend.

Kathy furrowed her brow. "You've been on call the last three weekends in a row. Isn't there anyone else?"

"Well, I can't very well tell a rape victim that the timing doesn't work out for me." He snapped.

Kathy shot him an angry look and glanced over at the kids. She didn't want him to talk shop with the kids at the table, and he didn't either.

"Sorry." He shook his head. "It's just been a long week. I'm tired."

Kathy's expression softened. "I know." She stood up and started clearing plates. "Why don't you go into the living room and put your feet up and find something you want to watch on TV while the kids and I clean up the kitchen. I'll be in to join you as soon as we're done."

Elliot gave her a small smile, feeling like a complete asshole. Kathy was a good person and she had been his first love. Who knows what would have happened if their relationship had run its normal course, but they were married young due to her pregnancy, and he had never looked back. She was a good mother and a good wife and he had been happy for a long time. He wasn't sure when things had started to change. When he had started to see that they had grown apart, and he had gotten a view of what being in love could be like. Was it the first day Olivia walked into the squad room and was paired with him? No. He really couldn't pinpoint it. It was something that had grown over time. They were friends. He respected her. He was in awe of her empathy with victims…her passion for the job. When had it turned into love?

His eyes watched Kathy as she walked around cleaning up the kitchen. He knew she had had her suspicions over the years. She had been surprised the first time she'd met Olivia; understanding why he waited almost a year to bring her home for dinner despite her insistence. They had fought about it that night; her insecurity over him having a beautiful, _single_ partner boiling over. He had assured her she had nothing to worry about.

It had been a long time until the next time her name came up in a fight. But over the past few years, it had become more frequent. The accusations that he preferred spending time with Olivia than his family. The accusation of an affair. The ultimatums that he get a new partner. The threats that never came to fruition. He thinks now that she never pushed him to make that decision because she wasn't sure which one of them he would choose.

In her heart, she knew.

He told her he had never cheated on her. As of the last time she asked, he hadn't. At least not physically. Watching her now, he was burdened with guilt. He had broken his marriage vows.

He was so close to blurting out a confession; the words on the tip of his tongue, when Dickie swatted him on the arm.

"Dad. Dylan's coming over and we want to play video games. Can we set up the extra TV and PlayStation in my room?" he asked.

Elliot was shaken out of his reverie…and he stood up. "Sure." He said numbly. "Let's go."

After he finished getting Dickie set up, he and a friend of Liz's showed up and all of the kids went upstairs. He walked into the living room and saw Kathy had opened up a bottle of wine and was sitting on the couch. She smiled up at him as he walked into the room and patted the spot beside her. "I've barely seen you all week." She said, as she handed him a cold beer. "I thought maybe we could watch a movie or something together." She picked up her wine glass and took a sip. "How does that sound?"

Elliot took a sip of his beer. "That sounds good." He sat down next to his wife as she surfed through the channels and wondered what Olivia was doing right this second.


	11. Chapter 11

Olivia found that she was actually having a good time at the event with Casey. There was an open bar and she had a glass of wine in her hand while Casey introduced her to a number of people; a few she had met in the ADA's office before. There was going to be a formal dinner at 9 and then the charity auction would start at 10. She figured at that rate, she could be home and out of these spiky heels by midnight.

She and Casey were talking to a couple of ADA's from Bronx when Olivia's mind wandered to Elliot. She wondered what he was doing right now. A stab of jealousy hit her at the thought of him home with his wife, even though she knew she didn't have any right to feel that way. This whole affair was weighing heavily on her. This was something she swore she'd never do again and yet here she was. God, she loved him…but what did this say about who she was? And this was definitely not the Elliot she knew and she couldn't help but feel that his submission was partially her fault. Despite the fact that he had been the one to cross the line; give in to the temptation that bubbled just beneath the surface for both of them.

She looked up when Casey said her name.

"It's time to eat." She said. "Let's find our table." Casey snagged a bottle of wine off the bar and laughed, looking for Table #9. Olivia followed behind her until they found it. They sat down next to each other, the first ones at their table. Casey refilled their wine glasses.

"OK Benson. I haven't had a minute alone with you in weeks. You never told me what happened the night of the party." She said, looking at Olivia with a serious expression on her face.

Olivia furrowed her brow. "What?" She feigned ignorance. She figured Casey might let it go since it hadn't come up yet. Now she knows that was ridiculous. Casey would never let something like that drop. She spent a fair amount of her time digging for dirt on their relationship, despite coming up empty handed every single time.

"The night of the party. When you left with Elliot." She took a sip of her wine. "I was worried he was going to beat the crap out of Andrew."

"He wouldn't do that." Olivia said. In reality, she had been worried about that very fact.

Casey raised an eyebrow. "Right." She shook her head. "I tried to tell him you had left but Munch blew it. I thought there was going to be a brawl."

Olivia thought about Andrew then and felt guilty. "God, I should get a hold of Andrew and apologize. I didn't even think about him."

"Nah. Fin and I gave him the 411." Casey said, and Olivia wondered exactly what they had told him. She didn't ask because frankly she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"So?" Casey prompted. "What did he say to you? Did you guys get in another big fight?" They were famous for their big fights followed by days of silence. There was a lot of sexual tension between the two of them; tension they kept denying. And that always meant there was an underlying current to every fight. And it got more complicated because Elliot was married.

"Yeah, we got in a fight."

Casey let out a small laugh. "Of course you did. What did you tell him?"

"I told him he couldn't keep trying to control my life."

"I bet that went over well."

"Yeah. And so I didn't' want to get into it and I tried to take a cab home but there weren't any." She paused. "So I ended up letting him drive me home."

"Really? I bet that was a fun ride." Casey prompted. "I hope you told him to fuck off and to let you live your life." Casey was assuming it went like so many of their other fights. She took another bite of her salad while she waited for an answer.

"Not exactly." Olivia said.

"Oh God." Said Casey. "You can't let him get away with that shit. Don't tell me you decided to let it slide and just forgave him for his Neanderthal behavior." She shook her head. She would never understand why Olivia let him get away with the things he did.

"Kind of." Olivia said quietly, her emotions starting to bubble up.

"What's kind of?" Casey asked, taking a bite of her salad.

""I slept with him."

Casey literally choked on her food…coughing and grabbing for her water. That was absolutely the last thing she expected to hear.

Olivia closed her eyes, hardly able to believe she had blurted that out. But it was a relief. She hadn't realized how much she needed to talk to someone about it. Ad despite Casey's proclivity for gossip, she knew she could keep a secret when it really mattered.

She slapped Casey hard on the back. "Are you OK?"

Casey choked down the bite and followed it with a long drink of water. "Shit Liv. You got me for a minute." She laughed. "I guess I deserved that for all of the crap I've given you over the years." Her laugh subsided when she saw the expression on Olivia's face.

"Holy shit" she said, leaning in towards Olivia. "You're serious?"

Olivia nodded, biting her bottom lip.

"Well. Shit." Casey was dumbfounded. They sat like that a moment, neither one of them saying anything. Casey had a million questions for her, but she didn't know what Olivia wanted to share. She was still reeling from the fact that she had told her.

"So. How was it?" she asked.

Olivia rolled her eyes. She should have expected that from her. "Casey." She said in an exasperated tone. She leaned in towards her and looked around at the rest of the table. She saw everyone else was deep in conversation and wasn't paying any attention to them. "I just told you that I'm sleeping with my married partner and that's your first question?"

"Sleeping with? As in more than once?" Casey sat back in her chair. It was one thing for Olivia to have slept with Elliot once. She had always suspected they would give in to temptation one time; they were only human. But she figured they would both feel so guilty that it would never happen again.

Olivia sat back in her chair too, letting out a long sigh. She nodded. "Yeah."

Casey opened her mouth to say something, and then shut it again. She honestly didn't know what to say. This was a messy situation.

"Casey, I'm telling you this as a friend. You can't tell anyone."

"Of course. I wouldn't." She leaned back in, taking a sip of wine. "I just can't believe it. I mean, I like to give you guys a lot of shit. And there is no denying the attraction between you two but I never thought…" She stopped talking.

"You never thought I'd have an affair with my married partner." Olivia took a long sip of her wine. She couldn't believe it either. If someone would have asked her a month ago if she would ever think about having an affair with him, she would have adamantly said no. She let out a heavy sigh. "I know." She said quietly.

Casey put a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to be sensitive, but she could tell that Olivia wanted to talk. "How are you feeling about…everything?"

"I don't know. It's just…" She thought about it. "I haven't had time to think. We slept together that night after your party and then I told him it couldn't happen again." She paused. "He wasn't happy about that but then I thought that was it. We didn't talk about it and that was fine. I thought we could just forget it happened and move on."

"But."

"But then I broke down and I invited him up yesterday."

Casey was just nodding, letting Olivia tell her what she wanted to tell her at her own pace.

Olivia dropped her head in her hands. "He stayed over." She thought about their afternoon together…their night…and their morning. She looked up at Casey. "The worst part is that I don't regret it Case. I mean, I feel guilty, but I've thought about it so many times before and now that we've slept together…" She shook her head. "I can't imagine giving him up. Even though I know it's wrong."

"Liv. It takes two. How does Elliot feel?"

"I don't know. I mean, I know he feels guilty too. But honestly, I think his marriage is over."

"Has he said that? Has he said he's going to leave his wife?" Casey knew that Elliot's feelings for Olivia ran deep. But having an affair and leaving your wife were two different things and she didn't want to see Olivia get hurt.

"Casey, it's been two weeks. You don't throw away twenty years of marriage for a fling. We haven't talked about anything."

"It's not a fling Liv. You know Elliot doesn't think of you like that. He…"

Olivia interrupted her. Suddenly, she didn't feel like talking to her any more. She knew Casey was going to push her and she wasn't sure she was ready to face any more truths. "I don't know what's going to happen, OK?"

Casey nodded. "OK. I just have one question." She waited a second but Olivia didn't stop her or say anything, so she continued. "Do you love him?"

"Yeah. I do." She admitted.

"Have you told him that?"

"God no." she said. "And I won't let him tell me that he loves me either."

"But you think he does?" Casey asked.

"I know he does." She took a sip of wine and turned back to her dinner, and Casey knew the conversation was over.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was sitting on the couch next to Kathy, but he was restless. He felt an incredible amount of guilt sitting here next to her, when the only thing on his mind was Olivia. All of the things he had been thinking about at dinner were resurfacing. He couldn't keep doing this to her. Or to Olivia. He had to decide that the hell he wanted, and man up and make a choice. It was the only right thing to do. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to be simple. He loved Olivia. He was _in love_ with Olivia. He had been for a while. But he and Kathy had been married for years. They had built a great life. They had a family.

It always came down to his sense of obligation. He had married Kathy for better or worse. But was it fair to her to stay if he wasn't in love with her?

He felt overwhelmed. He got up. "I'm going to get another beer."

Kathy watched him get up and grab his phone. "Do you want me to pause the movie?"

"No. I 'll be right back." He wasn't very interested in the movie. He hadn't really been following along. He was thinking about Olivia again. He was kicking himself because he hadn't asked more about the event. He didn't even know where it was or how late it went. Who was invited? Was there dinner? Dancing? He scrubbed his hand over his face as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. How many men were asking for her phone number tonight? Dancing with their arms wrapped around her? He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up the texting app. He knew he wouldn't have any messages from her. And he knew if he texted her she'd probably get mad. He looked at his watch and saw it was a little after 10. To hell with it. He pulled up her contact info and started typing a message.

"Calling someone? Isn't it kind of late?"

He looked up and saw Kathy had walked into the kitchen.

"What? No. I'm not calling anyone." He snapped his phone closed.

"You've been looking at your phone all night." Kathy said, just looking at him. "Are you expecting a call?"

"No. Well. Maybe." He looked down at his phone to give himself a second to collect himself. "Olivia's out tonight and I told her to call me if she had any problems."

Kathy gave him a funny look. "What kind of problems?" She laughed. "She's a grown woman. She's a cop. And you're out here in Queens." She laughed. "What are you going to do for her?" She thought his comment was ridiculous. She knew they watched out for each other. She was thankful that Olivia was watching out for Elliot every day on the job, but sometimes it annoyed the hell out of her. "Don't you two spend enough time together? She's asking you to be her savior if her date goes badly?" She shook her head. "Tell her to call a cab." Her tone was short. As in, end of discussion. She turned back towards the living room and then stopped to look back at him. "Are you going to come back and finish this movie?"

"Yeah." He stood there for a second but Kathy held her ground, waiting for him. He put his phone back in his pocket and opened the fridge. He grabbed a beer and followed Kathy out in to the living room.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was anxious the rest of the night, even though she and Casey didn't talk about it anymore. Now that she had a little distance from Elliot, it was giving her new perspective. And telling Casey had made it real. She thought about Kathy for the first time. Really thought about her. This wasn't some strange person she didn't know. She knew her…knew her kids. Kathy trusted Olivia to keep her husband safe day and day out. To send him home to his family where he belonged. And this was how she repaid that trust she had been given? By stealing her husband away from her?

"Liv. You OK?" Casey asked her, seeing the look of distress on Olivia's face. They were standing at the bar, the auction having ended a half an hour ago.

"No." she whispered. "What the hell am I doing?" she asked.

Casey put a hand on her shoulder and looked into her friend's eyes. "Why are you heaping all of the blame on yourself? Elliot is just as much to blame…if not more."

"I have to end this." She said.

"You have to talk to him Liv." She couldn't imagine the fights and the tension that would ensure if Olivia just ended it. "I know you two are the best communicators but just ending it is going to be disastrous."

"So you're saying I should keep on sleeping with him?" Olivia asked, an incredulous look on her face.

"No! That's not what I'm saying. But I know you and you're not going to say anything and you're just going to keep avoiding him and then he's not going to know what's going on and …"

"OK. OK. I get it." Olivia said. She thought about having a discussion about this She couldn't imagine the two of them actually sitting down and have a real conversation about this. . It had to be in a neutral place. Somewhere they wouldn't be alone. Because if they were alone…she wouldn't be able to do it. Because she didn't want to end it. She wanted to call Elliot at this very moment, have him meet her at her apartment and rip this dress from her body. She wanted to feel his skin beneath her hands; his lips on hers. He wanted his hands on her breasts; she wanted him buried deep inside of her. She closed her eyes, able to visualize all of it.

Her eyes snapped open and she looked at Casey. "I know I need to end it but I don't know if I can."

Casey got a surprised look on her face. Olivia Benson was one of the toughest people she knew. To see her like this was so surprising to her; she didn't even know what to say.

Olivia saw the look on her face. "Do you think I'm a horrible person?"

Casey's heart was breaking for her. She knew Olivia and she knew she deserved so much. She did so much for everyone else. She wanted her to be happy. She didn't doubt they loved each other; the situation just sucked.

"Of course I don't think you're a horrible person." Casey said. "Never."

"Even if I don't break it off?"

"Liv. I want you to do whatever you think is right for you. I'm not here to judge. I just don't want to see you get hurt." She said.

"I'm not sure that's possible." Olivia said. Whatever she decided to do, or whatever she and Elliot decided to do together…there was sure to be some heartache involved.


	12. Chapter 12

Elliot had finally had a chance to text Olivia around 11 when Kathy had gone to check on the kids and use the bathroom. She had made another run upstairs and Elliot checked his phone again, seeing that she hadn't texted him back. It was close to midnight now, and he was trying not to get frustrated. She had promised that she would let him know when she was home and he trusted that she would.

But…

What if she didn't go home? Or what if she brought someone home with her? She had looked stunning tonight, and he wouldn't be surprised if several guys had tried...

He had to stop thinking like that. She wouldn't do that.

He was startled when Kathy came up behind him and started massaging his shoulders. She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "I'm going to go to bed. Are you coming?"

Elliot stumbled over his words. "I'm…Yeah. Well, I'll be up in a few minutes." He didn't want to go upstairs with Kathy. It was one thing to sleep next to her every night, but quite another to…

"Oh." She stood up. "OK." Her voice had changed slightly and Elliot could tell she thought he was brushing her off.

Which he was.

He turned towards her. "I'll be up in a few minutes. I'm just going to check the doors…" his voice trailed off. "Are all of the kids asleep?" It seemed pretty early for them to be asleep, especially when friends were over.

"We can be quiet." She said with a small smile.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." Elliot said.

Kathy's smile faded. "Yeah, you're probably right." She walked up to Elliot and placed a hand on his chest. "It's just that you haven't been home and I miss you."

"I know." He put his hand over hers. "I know." He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I'm sorry." He didn't say anything else; he just stared at her. Kathy finally realized he wasn't going to say anything else and she let out a sigh and went upstairs.

Elliot let out a heavy sigh as he watched her walk upstairs. He had certainly made a mess of things. He needed to talk to Olivia. They had to figure out where this thing with them was headed so he could decide what the hell he was going to do.

He sat down and picked up his phone again, sending Olivia another text message.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was surprised that she hadn't heard from Elliot until almost 11. She had expected him to check up on her all night. He must have been busy. Doing what…she didn't want to know. She didn't answer him. She had told him she would tell him when she was home and she would.

She and Casey left a little about 1130, but they went to another lounge for a nightcap with a group of about 8 people. Olivia was feeling good. She wasn't drunk…she wasn't even tipsy. It had just been fun to have a night out and relieve some stress. She knew that a large part of that stress relief had been because she had confided in Casey. And she was so grateful that Casey had listened without judgement. She was feeling enough guilt on her own.

She felt her phone vibrate and saw another text message pop up from Elliot. Casey gave her a sideways glance.

"You gonna answer that?" she asked.

Olivia sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"Put the poor guy out of his misery." Casey said. "You know he's just going to keep bugging you until you answer him."

Olivia knew Casey was right. She opened up her messages. She read through them quickly.

" _Having fun without me?_ "

" _Haven't heard from you. Everything OK_?"

" _Hey, text me back and let me know you're OK_."

Olivia rolled her eyes. He was being a bit dramatic, but she should be used to it by now. She hit REPLY to his last message.

" _I promised I would text you when I got home. Not home yet_." She was about to hit SEND when she realized that text would just generate more questions. She erased the message and retyped the message. " _Casey and I are just about to head home. Text you when I get there_." She hoped that text would appease him. Because she knew that despite what she had told him, he was most likely unhappy that she wasn't home yet, and worried that she wasn't going to go home alone.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up late on Saturday morning. She and Elliot had texted back and forth a few times when she got home, and she hadn't been able to get to sleep. She had been wishing he was lying there with her and her desire for him overwhelmed her. Then the guilt had seeped back in…and then jealousy when she thought of him home in bed with his wife.

She and Casey had made plans to go to the gym and then grab some lunch and do a little shopping. Although she wasn't much of a shopper, she was glad to have some plans. It would help keep Elliot off her mind and keep her from calling or texting him.

They were sitting at lunch when she and Casey both got a text from Fin. " _Don't forget. Game tomorrow. BYOB. B here by noon."_

Olivia had forgotten about the football party at Fin's. It wasn't really a party, but Fin was a big Giants fan and every season, he picked one game to invite people over. He had a fairly large living room in his apartment and a huge TV, so he invited the squad and a few other friends to watch the game. This Sunday was Giants vs. Jets. Olivia wasn't a big football fan and had never taken him up on the invitation before.

"Are you going to go to Fin's?" asked Casey. She was a huge sports fan, and had gone in previous years. "It's a lot of fun. He always has lots of food delivered and there's always a lot of yelling. And people betting against each other for all kinds of crazy things."

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

"C'mon. What else do you have going on?" she asked. She gave her a smile. "Go with me. There aren't enough women there to begin with. I even have a Giants T-shirt you can wear."

Olivia let out a sigh. "OK." She usually loved having some down time on the weekends, but holding thoughts of Elliot at bay were that much harder when she was alone. She was afraid she would call him; try to make up some excuse for him to come into the city.

Distance was good. Being busy was good. Because she needed space and time to build up a resistance to the charms of Elliot Stabler.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot woke up on Sunday morning and rolled over and looked at the clock. 1045AM. He couldn't believe he had slept that late, but he knew part of it was because he hadn't fallen asleep until 4AM. When they had texted back and forth early Saturday morning, Olivia had told him that she had plans with Casey all day. She had asked him to give her some space, and he had agreed. So he hadn't spoken to or heard from her all day or all night, and he had decided he wouldn't call her today either. If she wanted space, he would give it to her. Maybe it was good for both of them.

He heard noises downstairs and let out a heavy sigh. More kids in the house. He just wanted to watch the game today; have a little bit of peace and quiet after the hectic weekend so far. He crawled out of bed and pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. He walked downstairs and saw Liz and a four other girls watching some kind of movie on TV.

"Hey girls." He said as he passed by on the way to the kitchen. He saw Kathy in the kitchen, taking some cinnamon rolls out of the oven. "What's going on in there?"

Kathy looked up. "Good morning." She pulled a mug down from the cupboard and poured him a cup of coffee, handing him the mug with a kiss on the cheek. "They're here to work on a school project."

Elliot sat down at the table, taking a sip of coffee. "They're watching TV."

"They're going to have something to eat and watch this movie and then they're going to get started. But they have to do something with TV commercials so they're going to be in there for a while."

Elliot groaned. "No. I want to watch the game today."

"You're the one that doesn't want them to have TV's in their room."

Dickie came trudging into the kitchen, obviously just waking up. He sat down next to Elliot, and looked up at his Mom. "What's for breakfast?"

"Good morning Mom." Kathy joked as she set a cinnamon roll in front of him and one in front of Elliot. She walked into the other room and gave the girls a plate and some napkins and Elliot heard the girls laughing and squealing and he dropped his head in his hands. He loved his kids but a room full of squealing 13-year-old girls was too much this early in the morning. He could hear Kathy talking to them and he took the opportunity to pull out his phone and check his messages. He sighed when he saw that he didn't have any new messages from Olivia, but then he saw the message from Fin.

Bingo.

He could go into the city, watch the game at Fins, and then maybe he could figure out a way to stop at Olivia's before he came back home. He just needed to see her, even if it was just for a few minutes.

Kathy walked back into the kitchen. He stood up and walked over to the coffee pot to fill up his mug. "You know what? I forgot that Fin invited some of the guys over to watch the game today. You know, his annual football thing." He had gone before, but it had been a few years since he'd made it over there. "Since the girls are going to be hogging the TV, I thought maybe I'd go over there."

He wasn't really asking permission, but like any married man, he knew better than to just tell her he was going. "Do you care if I go?"

Kathy turned towards him, leaning against the counter. He could see a question on her face and he wondered what she wanted to ask him. She hesitated only a moment longer and then shrugged her shoulders. "Will you be back for dinner?"

"Of course."

Dick jumped up from the table. "I want to watch the game too. Can I come with you?" he asked. "C'mon Dad. Don't make me stay here with all of these girls."

"I don't know Dickie. I don't think there's any kids there."

"Take him." Said Kathy, not wanting to put up with a pouting Dickie all day. "I'm sure Fin won't care. It's not like things get that out of control."

"People are going to be drinking." Elliot said. It was true that he didn't really like to have his kids around a lot of drinking, but he knew that things wouldn't be wild at Fin's. But if he brought Dickie along, he wouldn't be able to stop and see Olivia.

"C'mon Dad." Dickie pleaded with him.

Elliot looked at his son and couldn't deny him. "OK. Fine. Go get dressed. We have to leave in half an hour or we'll miss kickoff."

Dickie raced upstairs to get ready and Elliot started to follow him up when Kathy grabbed him by the arm. "Thanks for taking him along. It'll be good. He missed spending time with you."

Elliot gave her a smile because he knew she was right. And it was another reason that everything happening with Olivia was wrong. He trudged upstairs to get ready to go to Fin's.

EOEOEOEOEO

Casey had stopped by Olivia's to give her a Giant's t-shirt and then they made their way to Fin's. They stopped and got some beer along the way, and were both in a great mood when they knocked on Fin's door. Fin was surprised but happy to see Olivia, and he gave each of them a big hug when he saw them.

They walked in and put their beer in the fridge, and Olivia was impressed with the amount of food Fin had spread out in the kitchen. The kitchen had a bar and was open into the living room, and she saw a huge U-shaped sectional facing a huge flat screen TV. The pre-game was already on and she saw Cragen and Munch in animated discussion about something. She saw Chester Lake talking to O'Halloran and one other guy she didn't know, and that was it.

"Grab a beer and then come in and place your friendly wager before the game starts." Said Fin, heading back into the living room. Olivia saw the same blonde from Casey's party come down the hallway and Fin wrapped his arm around her as she walked into the living room. Casey and Olivia shot each other a look and grabbed a beer. They walked into the living room and found a spot on the sectional.

Olivia really didn't know much about football, so she had O'Halloran help her with her selections in the football pool. They got it done right before kick-off. O'Halloran was giving her grief about not understanding football.

"My mom was an English professor. I didn't grow up watching sports." She explained. O'Halloran just laughed and spent the next few minutes explaining the basic rules of the game.

The room was noisy and the game was loud and people were laughing and talking and Olivia was glad she had decided to come. She looked over at Casey and saw her sitting unnecessarily close to Lake, and made a mental note to ask her about that later on in private. She realized her recent conversations with Casey had been pretty one sided lately. She took another sip of beer and tried to focus on the game.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Fin was in the kitchen grabbing another beer when he heard a knock at the door. The first quarter was almost over, and he wasn't expecting anyone else. He opened the door and was surprised to see Elliot standing there with his son.

"Stabler." Fin said. "Didn't know you were coming man." He held out his hand and Elliot shook it.

"I hope it's OK that I brought my son along. We needed to escape all the women at our house." Elliot said laughing.

"No problem." He backed up to let them in. "It's a banner day. You _and_ Benson showin' up."

Elliot had been walking into the apartment, but he stopped when Fin dropped that bomb. "Olivia's here?" He had _not_ been expecting that.

Dickie got a big smile on his face. The Stabler kids had known Olivia since they were little kids, and they never got to see her very often. Now that he was older, he also thought Olivia was beautiful and he would never admit to having a crush on her, but he did. "I'm going to go say hi." He took off into the apartment before Elliot could stop him.

Fin shut the door behind Elliot and ushered him into the kitchen. He set his beer sown on the counter and looked into the living room. He saw Olivia sitting on the sectional next to O'Halloran. She was wearing faded jeans with a rip in the thigh and a short sleeved Giant's t-shirt that was stretched across her breasts. He watched as she looked up at Dickie, surprise on her face. She stood up and gave him a quick hug, her eyes searching the room for Elliot.

Her eyes finally connected with his as he stared at her from the kitchen. She released Dickie then and turned her attention back to him, smiling as she asked him a few questions. She glanced back up at Elliot as she listened to Dickie. _What the hell were they doing here?_

She hadn't expected to see him today. She wasn't mentally prepared; and she wasn't emotionally prepared to have him standing there, staring at her. She swallowed hard, looking at the way his shirt stretched across the muscles of his chest. _Jesus_.

She ripped her eyes away from him and looked back at Dickie. He was just standing there and she realized he had stopped talking. She gave him a smile and introduced him to O'Halloran. Olivia turned back to Elliot and gave him a small smile before she sat down again. Dickie and O'Halloran sat down on either side of her and they turned their attention back to the game.


	13. Chapter 13

Elliot continued to watch everyone from the kitchen. From this vantage point, no one had really seen him yet except for Fin and Olivia. Some people were on the edges of their seats, watching every play and cheering or booing as appropriate, while others were engrossed in conversation. He moved into the kitchen a little further, so he could get a better view, and he saw Cragen and Munch off to his left, sitting on bar stools behind the sectional. Casey was in a discussion with Lake and now Fin's buddy was talking to O'Halloran while Fin was talking to Olivia and Dickie.

He took a deep breath. While he had hoped to find an opportunity to see Olivia while he was in the city, he hadn't expected it to be here…in front of all of their co-workers, their boss and his son. They knew how to be Benson and Stabler in the squad room and on the job. Even in social situations with their co-workers. But now things had changed and he felt awkward. He didn't know how to act around her or what to say.

He watched as Casey got up and walked over to where Dickie and Olivia were sitting. She talked to them for a minute and then shot a look towards him. Her eyes connected with his and she smiled, giving him a little wave. Then she turned her attention back to Olivia. Elliot narrowed his eyes as he saw Olivia shoot a look over at him. He wondered what the hell they were talking about. Casey shot another look over at him and smiled, said something to Olivia and then headed in his direction.

He caught Cragen out of the corner of his eyes, and he nodded at Elliot as he walked by and over towards Olivia.

"Not going to join the party?" asked Casey as she walked into the kitchen. She hip-checked him as she grabbed some chips from a bowl.

"I'm here." Elliot said, sounding more defensive then intended.

"Uh-huh." Casey said, rolling her eyes at him. "I mean out there. With the rest of us."

"I was just getting a beer." Elliot said.

"OK." Said Casey, giving him a small smile. She pulled a beer out of the six pack he was holding, opened it up, and handed it to him. "Here you go."

Elliot gave her a strained smile. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?" She was definitely acting strange and he was wondering what she and Olivia had talked about over the past day and a half. He decided to turn the tables. "Looks like you were pretty chummy with Lake there."

Casey shrugged her shoulders. "We've gone out a few times."

"What does that mean?" Elliot pushed, wanting to keep the conversation focused on her.

"It means we've slept together but we're not walking down the aisle." She said flippantly. She grabbed another handful of chips. She looked back out at the crowd in the living room and saw Olivia and Dick talking to Munch. "You'd better rescue your son from Munch. Lord knows what he's going to tell him." She headed out of the kitchen with a plate in hand.

Elliot took a swig of his beer and was about to walk out into the living room when Cragen walked in.

"Hey." He said, grabbing a plate. "Surprised to see you here today." He started to fill his plate with snacks. "Kathy kick you out of the house?"

"Liz has a bunch of girls over working on a school project and this was the only way I was going to get to see any of the game."

Cragen looked out into the living room and nodded his head in that direction. "And Dickie wouldn't let you go without him?"

Elliot smiled. "Yep."

"Smart boy." He grabbed a water out of the refrigerator. "Your kids are getting old. I haven't seen them in a while."

"Yeah." Elliot looked back out at his son. It was times like this that he realized how much he'd missed and the thought of leaving his family tore at him. His eyes wandered to Olivia standing next to him and he could feel the conflict in himself.

Cragen paused as he started to walk out of the kitchen and interrupted his thoughts. "You're not going to get to see much of the game from in here." He said, and Elliot laughed, following him out of the kitchen.

Elliot wandered over to where Fin and his girlfriend were sitting on one end of the couch and he plopped down next to him. "What did I miss?" They chatted about the game, and Fin told him it was too late to get into the football pool. He sat and watched the game for a while, talking with anyone that crossed his path as people moved around the room. He noticed that Olivia kept her distance, moving around the room and chatting with people, but purposefully avoiding him. He didn't blame her because he had no idea what he would do if she sat down next to him. He didn't know if he could just act normal. If he even knew what normal was anymore. It did annoy him though that Dickie was following her around.

"Dick" he called out. "Come on over here for a few minutes." Dick turned and gave him a look before he walked over and sat down.

"What?"

"You came here to watch the game with me, so let's watch the game." He said.

"I came to watch the game and get out of the house." He said, but he slumped back on the couch and turned his attention to the giant TV screen.

Olivia watched the interaction between father and son and smiled. She really wasn't sure what had been up with Dickie. _Dick,_ she reminded herself. He had made that clear when she introduced him to O'Halloran. He had certainly grown up and it was genuinely nice to see him.

Casey leaned over at that moment, noticing Olivia taking in Elliot and Dick. "That boy has a crush on you." She said. "What is it with those Stabler men?" she said playfully.

Olivia shushed her, looking around to see who was in earshot. Of course, Munch heard every word.

"Ah Benson. Charming generations of Stabler men." He said, laughing.

"Knock it off John. He's just a kid." She looked at Casey, shaking her head.

"I know. But it's tough at that age. You think you're so much older than you are." He took a sip of beer. "Did I ever tell you about the time when I was 14? There was a young woman that lived down the street. A _divorced_ younger woman…"

Olivia put up a hand. "I don't want to hear about it John. Please." Olivia laughed. "I don't want that mental image in my head all day long."

"You don't want to hear about how I lost my innocence?"

"Oh God." Said Casey.

"How about I tell you my story and you girls tell me yours? How old were you Benson?" John dipped his head down and looked at them over his glasses. "I'm willing to bet that you didn't look like a 15-year-old girl when you were 15."

"You are such a pervert John." Said Olivia, slapping him on the arm. "I don't know why you work in sex crimes."

O'Halloran walked up then and Olivia shot Munch a dirty look, daring him to say anything else. "Hey Olivia. You won the football pool. You got the score right at halftime." He said, depositing two twenties in her hand. "Although technically, I helped you so I should get half."

"I'll gladly give you half if you get me out of this conversation." She slipped him a $20, and headed towards the kitchen to get another beer. Since it was halftime, the kitchen was crowded and she hung back waiting for it to clear out a little.

"Hey." She heard behind her, and she turned slightly, seeing Elliot just a few feet behind her.

"Hey." She turned to face him.

"I didn't expect to see you here today."

"Me either. Casey talked me into it."

He looked down at her t-shirt and then back up to her face. "Nice shirt."

Olivia tugged it at. "It's a little small. It's Casey's." She had argued with Casey about wearing it. Casey was slimmer and less endowed than she was, but Casey told her not to worry about it so she had shrugged and gone with it. However, now she felt very self-conscious because she knew what Elliot was probably thinking right now.

"I like it." He said simply, giving her a sly smile.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'm not surprised."

"I think Dickie likes it too." He said, shocking the hell out of her.

"What?" she sputtered.

"I think my boy has a crush on you." He said. "And I can't say I blame him. He's got good taste."

Olivia shook her head. It was one thing for Casey to tease her about that but to hear Elliot say it was strange. "I'm sorry. I didn't do anything." She didn't know why she was apologizing but it just felt strange to know the son of the man she was sleeping was thinking about her _like that_. "He's just a boy." She said.

"He's 13."

"I…"

"Liv. You didn't do anything. 13-year old boys look at older women. They read Playboy. That's what they do. Girls their age don't hold as much…" He looked down at her breasts again briefly before meeting her eyes again. "Appeal." He glanced over at Dick and saw he was playing paper football with O'Halloran and he laughed. "He'll get over it." He knew at that age, boys would act like they were 8 one day, and 16 the next. It was a process.

Olivia shook her head and looked down. This was all too much. Elliot's proximity was making her start to feel warm. She had wanted space, but she didn't know why she ever thought that would be possible. She should have known that the moment they were near each other, all good intentions were for naught.

"Now me on the other hand. I don't think I'll ever get over it."

Olivia's head popped up and she looked around quickly.

"Don't worry. No one's listening to us. They're all getting food and more beer or watching the half time show."

She relaxed a little, realizing he was right.

"I've been dying to see you all weekend." He confessed. "I was going to try to come to the game today and then sneak over to see you, but then Dick wanted to come along and I couldn't say no." He leaned in ever so slightly. "So I'm really glad you decided to come here today."

Before she could say anything, he straightened up. "Hey Fin." He said and Olivia turned slightly to see Fin headed their way. She needed some air. She was grateful for the interruption and she reminded herself to thank him later. She gave Fin a small smile and then headed for the kitchen.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia made her way into the kitchen and grabbed another beer out of the fridge. She grabbed a plate and saw that everyone had done a lot of damage and there wasn't much food left. She got some veggies and dip and snagged some General Tsao's chicken and walked back into the living room. Everyone was sprawled around the sectional since the third quarter had started. Elliot saw her come in and he stood up and pointed to the spot he had vacated.

"You can sit here Liv."

Olivia shook her head and pointed to the empty stool behind the sectional. "I'm good." She climbed up on the stool and dug into her food.

The Giants were winning, but not running away with it, and Elliot was glad they had come to watch the game. It was exactly the environment he wanted for watching the game. He had one eye on the game, but kept his other eye on Olivia. He noticed she had finished her food, and was talking to Fin's buddy who was sitting next to her. She was toying with the hole in her jeans and he saw her slide her fingers into the hole absentmindedly, rubbing the skin there. She pulled them out again and toyed with the frayed edges and Elliot knew she had no idea she was doing it. However, it was driving him insane, and making his fingers itch to touch her.

He turned his attention back to the game as half the people in the room jumped up, yelling as the Giants scored. Everyone except Cragen had been drinking, and while no one was drunk, the volume level had definitely escalated as the game had gone on. He saw Olivia hop off the stool out of the corner of his eye. He watched her walk down the hall towards the bathroom, and twist the knob. The door must have been locked because she leaned against the wall to wait. As he watched, Fin's girlfriend came out of what must have been Fin's bedroom and pointed in that direction, so Elliot assumed there was a second bathroom in there. He saw Olivia smile and head in that direction.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia closed and locked the bathroom door. She finished going to the bathroom and washed her hands. When she was done, she braced her hands against the sink and looked in the mirror, her mind wandering back to the sex in her bathroom on Friday morning. She almost moaned out loud as she thought about it, feeling a rush of heat through her body. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to get a grip because there was no possible way for Elliot to come back to her apartment with her tonight, and tomorrow they'd be at work.

She opened her eyes and saw a flush in her cheeks. She wondered if this want deep in her belly would ever go away. If it would always be like this whenever he was near. If her body would always respond immediately to the timbre of his voice and the heat of his body. She could feel her body starting to respond at just the thought of him; her nipples hardening and an ache between her legs.

She let out another breath through pursed lips, trying to calm herself down. She couldn't go back out there like this, her arousal apparent through this thin t-shirt and the flush of her skin. She jumped when she heard a quiet knock at the door.

 _Shit._

Hopefully it was dark enough in Fin's room that whomever was outside the door wouldn't notice. She would just hang out in there until she felt more herself. She heard the quiet knock again.

"Just a second." She stood up and brushed a hand through her hair. She took a deep breath and opened the door, prepared to rush past the next person in line. She didn't look up, intent on moving quickly, but was surprised when two strong hands pushed her back into the small bathroom, closing the door behind him. It took only seconds for her to realize it was Elliot.

"What the…"

She never got the words out of her mouth before Elliot's mouth was on hers. He ran his hands through her hair, holding her head in place while he deepened the kiss. He sucked on her bottom lip and released it before he drove his tongue into her mouth. He pushed his body against hers, pinning her against the counter, and she moaned as his hips pressed into her.

He released her mouth as his dropped to her neck and he nipped at the skin there.

"What are you doing?" she asked breathlessly.

Elliot lifted his head. "I had to touch you." He said. He grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and ran his hands up her body until her bra was exposed. He kissed the swell of her breasts as he pulled the t-shirt over her head. He put his mouth over the lace of her bra, licking and teasing her peaked nipple. "Jesus. I've been looking at you sitting there in this tight t-shirt and the only thing I could think about is getting it _off_."

Olivia was moaning as he grabbed her bra and pulled it down roughly, exposing her breast. He took it in his mouth, sucking and teasing her. His hand dropped down to her belt buckle and he tugged at it impatiently. Olivia put her hand over his.

"El. We can't do this here." She hissed. "Someone could walk in."

Elliot pulled his mouth from her breast and turned around, locking the door. "Problem solved" he said his voice deep. He looked at Olivia, her one breast exposed and her skin flushed, and he reached for his own belt buckle. "Take it off." He said, dragging his jeans down his own hips. She watched him for a moment and he could tell she was trying to decide if she was going to let this happen here. Her eyes dropped to the bulge in his boxer briefs and he heard a low moan from her. She reached behind her and unhooked her bra and it dropped to the ground when she lowered her arms. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and let it drop.

Elliot groaned when he saw her breasts and he felt his dick twitch. He moved back towards her, cupping her head with one hand and kissing her hard as he took one breast in his hand. He massaged it and could feel her hips pushing against him as he pinned her against the counter again. She was rocking against him with a steady rhythm and he ripped his mouth from hers.

" _Fuck!"_

He grabbed her belt and undid it, unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans in record time. He shimmied them down her hips and they fell to her knees. He cupped her mound with his hand, pushing her back against the vanity again. He could feel how wet she was through the lace of her panties and he wanted to be buried inside of her now.

He moved his hands to her hips, and hoisted her up on the vanity. She let out a small yell, surprised at his quick action, and he smothered the sound with a kiss. He pulled his lips from hers. "Shh." He dropped his mouth to her shoulder, peppering her skin with kisses as his fingers slid beneath her panties. They both moaned together as he ran his fingers through the slickness.

"Jesus Liv. Did you start without me?" he teased, running his fingers back and forth over her clit, causing her body to jolt with touch. She didn't say anything; she just kept moaning quietly.

Elliot removed his hand from her panties and grabbed the side in his hands, ripping them from her body. She let out another small cry, looking at the ripped piece of lace in his hands.

He made no apology. "I'm done. I need to be inside of you. Now." He had his briefs off in seconds and Olivia shuddered in anticipation. She wanted him so badly and somehow the illicit nature of this entire affair along with the danger of being caught had heightened her arousal to an almost unbearable level.

Elliot moved back towards her, grabbing her thighs with his hands and spreading her legs. But the damn vanity was too high and he knew he wouldn't be able to drive into her completely.

"Fuck." He wrapped one hand around her waist and pulled her down from the counter. He spun them around and she let out a small sound as her back came in contact with the wall. He hoisted her up a little higher, one hand underneath each thigh, spreading her legs wide open to him.

He dropped his mouth on hers as he slid into her wetness and she moaned against his mouth as he filled her completely. He released her mouth and rested his forehead against hers, feeling her walls clench around him. He pushed in a little deeper and she let out a small sound.

"OK?" he managed to choke out.

She nodded and he pulled out slightly, slamming back into her. Olivia dug her nails into his shoulders and dropped her head back against the wall. She ran her hands down his biceps, marveling at his strength as he pulled out again and drove back into her. Her hands went back to his shoulders, digging in as he started pounding into her, rotating his hips as he moved with a steady rhythm against her.

She didn't know how long he could hold her against the wall like this, but she never wanted him to stop. He was hitting her just right and she could feel another rush of heat move through her body, a small trembling in her abdomen and another rush of liquid between her legs.

"Oh God." She whispered. If he kept this up she was going to come hard and she knew now that she would never, ever be able to give this up. Her body was made for him and his for hers and there would never be anyone else for her.

Elliot moved a little faster against her and she felt his arms starting to tremble with the exertion. Elliot moved his mouth against her ear, biting lightly on her earlobe. "I want you to come for me Liv." He whispered. "I love you."

She gasped as the words left his mouth and she wanted to tell him that he couldn't say that to her, but it was over…her orgasm ripped through her body as Elliot continued to drive into her and she lost all sense of control as the sensations wracked her body.

"Ah fuck." She heard him curse as she felt him come inside of her and she could feel his legs trembling as he worked to hold her against the wall. He held her there, his body buried deep inside of her as he tried to catch his breath and her body clenched around him. He dropped his forehead to her shoulder, his breathing labored and she ran her hands over his short hair. She massaged his head as his breathing started to normalize, and he pulled out of her slowly. He let her legs down to the ground and Olivia was shaky on her feet; her legs sore from the stretch. She stood up and tried to steady herself and they both stood for a moment, lightly clinging to each other.

"Liv…I…" Elliot knew he should apologize. He knew that cornering her here in the bathroom was dangerous and had put them both at risk, and he knew she would react badly to him telling her that he loved her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have followed you in here. I just…"

Olivia wrapped an arm around his waist and put a finger to his lips. "It may be wrong, but I'm glad you did. I've been thinking about you all weekend."

Elliot wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you stay that. I thought maybe you were going to break it off."

"Every sane part of me says we should." She let out a heavy sigh. She knew this was a conversation for a different day. "We should get back out there before someone misses us."

Elliot leaned in and kissed her again. "You're right." He pulled himself away and grabbed his briefs and jeans, pulling them on quickly. He ran some water and splashed it on his face, trying to reduce the flush on his skin. He washed his hands and pulled his t-shirt back over his head. He turned around and motioned for Olivia to move behind the door, since she hadn't cleaned up yet and gotten redressed. He gave her a kiss and slipped out the door.

Olivia quickly got cleaned up and pulled her clothes back on. She grabbed her ruined underwear from off the floor and tried to decide what to do with them. The garbage can was almost full, so she wrapped them in some toilet paper and buried it into the garbage can. She sat down on the toilet lid and dropped her head into her hands.

She didn't know what the hell they were doing and she couldn't believe she'd just had sex in the bathroom at Fin's. Despite this, she couldn't stop smiling and she knew she wasn't going to be able to look at Elliot for the rest of the day without a stupid grin on her face.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. She jumped up and grabbed the knob, opening it up quickly.

She saw Casey standing there with a sly smile on her face. "You about done in here?


	14. Chapter 14

_**If you don't remember, this is where we left off:**_

 _She saw Casey standing there with a sly smile on her face. "You about done in here?_

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia didn't react immediately, not sure what her friend was insinuating something or if it was an innocent comment. Based on the smile on her face, she was guessing that it was anything but innocent. She decided to see if she could get away with making an excuse.

"Yeah, sorry I was in there for a while. My stomach's bothering me." She said, starting to brush past her.

Casey snagged her arm and pulled her back into the bathroom, closing the door behind them.

"Liar." Casey challenged. "I saw Elliot come down the hall just a few minutes ago."

Olivia shrugged deciding to continue. "Yeah, he wanted to use the bathroom but I was in here so I told him to use the other one."

Casey put both hands on her hips and eyed her friend skeptically. "You know I'm a prosecutor, right? I can tell a lie from a million miles away." She leaned in slightly. "At first I was going to accuse you of a make-out session but God, it smells like sex in here."

Olivia got a shocked look on her face. "It does?"

"Busted." Said Casey with a smile. Olivia realized she had used one of the oldest tricks in the book to get her to confess and she'd fallen for it. Casey's smile faded as she lit into her. "I can't believe you. You had sex with Elliot _in here_? With Cragen and his son right down the hall? What are you _thinking_?" Casey asked, suddenly anxious for her friend. "Are you _trying_ to get caught?"

"No!" said Olivia sharply.

"Liv. You're one of the smartest people I know, but right now, you're not thinking with the right body parts." Casey said.

"I didn't plan for this to happen." She said angrily. "It just did." She thought about Elliot's behavior and she wanted to blame him, but she knows she could have stopped him at any time. The truth was that she hadn't wanted him to stop.

"I'm just saying that you're smarter than this and you're playing with fire."

"I thought you weren't going to judge me." She said, challenging Casey.

"I'm not judging you about this affair with Elliot. I'm judging your decision-making. You can't be so reckless and think you're not going to get caught. And that has so many repercussions Liv." She put a hand on her shoulder. "I just don't think either of you want this to come out this way."

"I don't want it to come out at all." Olivia said.

"Exactly." Casey said. "So you'd better tell Stabler to keep it in his pants because the next thing I know I'm going to be hearing you the two of you having sex on the cribs or interrogation. You have to draw a line Liv because I know it's not going to be Elliot that keeps control."

Olivia sighed, knowing that everything Casey said made sense. She didn't want to get caught and be exposed in a compromising position. There was so much at stake. His marriage and family, their jobs and pensions, their reputations. They were acting like kids…having fun. But there was so much to lose. She wasn't stupid enough to believe they could stay away from each other any longer, but they could keep things under control and keep this between themselves.

She looked back at Casey. "Thanks. I know. We've got to get this under control." She let out a deep breath.

Casey shook her head. "I'm here to be your voice of reason. Any time."

Olivia nodded her head. She was about to leave the room when she turned to Casey. "Does it really smell like sex in here?"

Casey nodded. "Yeah." She picked up a bottle of air freshener. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

Olivia let out a small laugh and opened the door. She closed it behind her and leaned against it for a minute, taking a deep breath before she faced everyone out in the living room. Hopefully everyone else had been too busy watching the game to notice she and Elliot had been missing.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot walked back into the living room and then straight to the kitchen. Everyone was engrossed in the game. He noticed the score was tied and it was the late in the fourth quarter and everyone was yelling at the TV. He snagged a beer out of the refrigerator, opened it up and took a long drink as he leaned up against the counter. He let out a heavy sigh, thinking about what had just happened in the bathroom. It was stupid and reckless; he knew that. But his need for her had been building all weekend, and ever since he'd laid eyes on her here, he had been itching to touch her. He hadn't expected to take it that far, but he had a pathetic lack of control when it came to her.

He looked up as Fin walked into the kitchen. "Hey man, you're missing the game. Where ya' been?"

"I've been here, having a beer and getting something to eat."

Fin got a puzzled look on his face as if he wasn't sure he believed him, but he seemed to accept it as he reached in the refrigerator for a beer. "I think this damn game is going to go into overtime." He walked back out of the kitchen and started yelling at the game again.

Elliot finished off his beer and grabbed another one before he walked into the living room and claimed a spot next to his son. He watched for Olivia out of the corner of his eyes, trying not to be obvious. When she hadn't come back after ten minutes, he started to wonder what was going on. He hoped she was OK. Another few minutes passed by and he was really starting to get worried. Maybe he had really upset her…God had he done something to hurt her? He started to make a move to stand up to check on her when he saw her and Casey walking down the hall.

Olivia caught his eye as she continued talking to Casey, and they both passed by on their way to the kitchen. He lost sight of them then, and he turned his attention back to the game. He was relieved to see she her and she seemed to be fine, but he was a little worried about what she had told Casey. He made a mental note to ask Olivia about that later.

Olivia and Casey resurfaced about ten minutes later, just as the official game time expired in a tie. He watched Olivia as she walked over to where Fin was standing with his girlfriend, and he saw her lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek. She gave his girlfriend a hug and he could tell by her body language that she was saying goodbye.

He wasn't happy that she was leaving so early but he was powerless to stop her. He watched her say goodbye to Munch and Cragen and O'Halloran before she made her way over to he and Dickie.

"I'm going to head out" she said. She looked down at Dickie. "It was good to see you again." She said, giving him a big smile. He stood up immediately and she gave him a quick hug, feeling self-conscious after Casey's and Elliot's comments about him having a crush on her. She looked up at Elliot, who had stood up as well. "See you tomorrow?"

"Um, yeah. Tomorrow." He said. He shifted awkwardly on his feet.

"Yeah, OK. Well, good night." She headed towards the door and Elliot followed her.

"Hey, how are you getting home?"

"I was just going to catch a cab."

"I could give you a ride." He offered.

Olivia looked over towards Dickie and the rest of the group. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Liv, I give you a ride home all the time."

She seemed to consider what he said. She knew it was true, but this wasn't like all of those other times. "I don't think it's a good idea." She said quietly.

He sighed. He understood what she was saying, and he couldn't disagree with her. He knew that if he brought her home, he wasn't going to want to leave. "OK." He said.

Casey walked up and interrupted them. "Hey. I'm heading out." She looked at Olivia. "I'll drop you off."

Olivia nodded and gave Elliot a quick smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Stabler." Said Casey, raising an eyebrow at him. She hadn't planned on leaving right then, but she'd seen what was going on across the room. She wasn't sure that either one of them was thinking clearly right now, so she had decided to interject herself. Olivia and Elliot were her friends…she needed to help them help themselves before things got out of hand.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia got home, she stripped off her clothes and ran a hot bath. She closed her eyes and sank into the warm water until she was submerged in bubbles up to her chin. She let out a long sigh, as the warm water loosened her sore muscles. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had this much sex on such a short period of time.

Fabulous, amazing, mind-blowing sex.

She felt herself smiling as the memories washed over her. She let out another long sigh, starting to replay the scene from Fin's bathroom. Olivia didn't mind aggressive sex, rough and fast; there were definitely times when she needed that…wanted that. But in those instances, there was always a push and a pull; she could be, and would be, just as aggressive. But seeing Elliot coming after her; having 100% of his intensity focused on her, had been such a turn-on and she had submitted willingly. She trusted him completely and was willing to let herself go. And it felt wonderful.

She ran her hands over her breasts and down her stomach, massaging the skin there. She clenched her thighs together and she swore she could still feel Elliot's length buried deep inside her. She let out a low moan, her hand sliding down her abdomen, when she was suddenly interrupted by a loud buzzing sound.

Her eyes popped open, and she eyed the ringing cell phone perched on a towel next to the tub. She knew it was Elliot. Their psychic connection never failed to surprise her, but this was ridiculous. She let out a heavy sign and snagged the phone.

"Benson." She said when she answered the phone.

"Hey." Elliot spoke in a hushed tone.

"Where are you?" asked Olivia, almost whispering herself, unconsciously matching his volume.

"I think it's a guest room."

"You shouldn't be calling me from there." Olivia chastised quietly. "I left because we already had crossed a line there."

"No one's paying any attention. The Giants won and the next game is on and no one is even thinking about leaving." He paused a moment. "I didn't really get a chance to talk to you…you know. After. Are you OK?"

"I'm fine." She said. She wasn't quite sure what he was asking her, so she stuck with her pat answer. He seemed to accept it.

Her tone sounded off, even though it was hushed. It sounded low…the same tone he heard when they were having sex. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm taking a bath." She said, splashing the water slightly with one hand.

Elliot's mouth ran dry, thinking of Olivia lying naked in the tub.

"Are you there?" Olivia asked thinking maybe she had lost him.

"I'm here." he said. "Were you thinking about me?" There was a little bit of challenge in his voice and he wondered if she would answer him honestly.

Olivia laughed lightly. "Why would I be thinking about you?" She asked, but inwardly cursing that he knew her so well. "Maybe I was thinking about someone else." She teased.

Elliot let out a low chuckle. Her answer told him that she wasn't simply sitting there soaking. "You _were_ thinking about me."

 _Cocky son of a bitch_. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. "What do you want?"

"That's a dangerous question right now." He hesitated a second before forging ahead. "What were you doing in the tub?"

"Elliot." She couldn't believe he was asking her that. Could he actually read her mind?

"Tell me." He said…his tone almost demanding.

"I…" She sat up in the tub. "I'm not having phone sex with you." She said, laughing.

"Ah, so you weren't just soaking in the tub." He said.

"Jesus El. I wasn't doing anything in the tub. Get your mind off sex for one minute."

"You're a terrible liar." Elliot said chuckling. "You told me as much when you said you weren't going to have phone sex. But it's OK. I have a visual that will get me through the rest of the night."

Olivia groaned. That's the second time she been told that today. "If you keep this up, it's going to have to last you a lot longer than that." Olivia said, trying to sound stern.

"Yeah yeah." He said. "I think that's an idle threat so I'm going to let that comment go."

"I'm hanging up on you now." Olivia said, smiling to herself.

"Night Liv."

"Night." She hung up the phone and sunk back into the hot water and found that she couldn't stop smiling.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot and Dickie didn't make it home for dinner as promised and Kathy was a little angry about it, although she tried to hide it in front of the kids.

"You guys should have called if you weren't going to make it home for dinner." She said, giving Elliot a tight smile.

"There was so much food at Fin's, it was crazy." Said Dickie. "I couldn't eat another bite anyway."

Kathy looked surprised. Dickie was a growing, teenage boy and it seemed like he was always hungry.

"Sorry." Elliot said sheepishly. "I should have called. The game went into overtime and then everyone started watching the Bears game and I didn't realize how later it was getting."

"You had a good time?" she asked Dickie, subtly ignoring Elliot's excuses. "Were there any other kids there?" She had been a little worried about the drinking and had been wondering if she really should have pushed to send him along.

"Nah." Said Dickie. "But Olivia was there." He said, his face brightening. "I haven't seen her for a long time."

Liz bounced off the couch. "Olivia was there?" She walked over to stand next to Elliot. "Why don't I ever get to see Olivia."

"I thought it was just the guys." Said Kathy, her voice tight.

"Liv is one of the guys." Said Elliot trying to brush it off.

"Well, you didn't tell me she was going to be there." She said. She knew she sounded like a bitch, but she couldn't help it. He already spent so much time at work…with her. Did he really need to spend his Sunday afternoon with her too?

"I didn't know she was going to be there. She usually doesn't go." He said. I knew he sounded defensive, but he didn't know why she was making such a big deal out of it.

"How lucky for you." She said. She turned and headed into the kitchen and Elliot let out a sigh.

If you only knew. The thought popped into his head unbidden. And that made him feel like a bigger jackass than he already did. But he didn't know what to say to her and he didn't really know why she was upset. She couldn't possibly know anything about what was really going on.

He followed her into the kitchen. He saw her leaning against the counter, her arms outstretched.

"I'm sorry I didn't call." He looked around and saw remnants of dinner on the counter. "It looks like it was good." He stood a few feet away from her. He knew he should reach for her and comfort her, but he couldn't find it in himself to do it.

She shook her head. "I didn't argue when you wanted to go watch the game today because I knew the girls were going to be here all day and I know you wanted to watch the game." She turned to face him. "It just bothers me that you spend all of this time at work, and then when you have a free day, you voluntarily spend more time with the same people." She looked down at her feet. "I feel like you spend 24 hours a day with Olivia. I never see you. The kids never see you. And it seems like it's getting worse." She looked up at him. "I miss you. _We_ miss you."

Elliot let out a heavy sigh. "It's my job Kathy. What do you want me to do?" They'd had this same conversation numerous times over the years and it always ended the same. They'd argue about him finding a different job or a different partner, depending on the objections of the moment. And then he would commit to trying to spend more time at home and he'd work hard at it for a while. But the reality was that his job was demanding, and eventually he'd be spending more time away from home again.

Kathy stared at him for a moment, unknowingly thinking all of the same things he was thinking. She let out a heavy sigh. "I can't make you want to be here." She said quietly. Before he could even respond, she pushed up off the counter. "I'm going to bed." She said.

Elliot started to say something but she stopped and interrupted again. "Don't bother making promises you're not going to keep." She said, and she rushed out of the kitchen.


	15. Chapter 15

It was late at night and Elliot was tossing and turning on the couch. This had to be the third or fourth time he'd woken up since he first fell asleep. After Kathy had gone upstairs to bed, he hadn't even tried to follow her. He knew there wouldn't be any more discussion tonight. And even if she had wanted to talk, he didn't.

He picked up his phone and saw it was a little after 4. No sooner had he set the phone down then it started to vibrate. He furrowed his brow wondering if he had hit something accidentally, and he picked it up to silence it. He saw it was Cragen and he groaned. Nothing good came out of a phone call at this time of the morning.

He put the phone to his ear. "Stabler."

"Elliot. Someone found a rape victim in Central Park. Don't know if she's going to make it. I need you and Olivia to get over to Mercy to see if you can get any information from the vic and then head to the crime scene."

"Got it Cap'n." Elliot said. There was no need for small talk, especially at this time of the morning. He knew what needed to be done. He hung up with Cragen and immediately dialed Olivia.

"Benson." He heard her groggy greeting.

"We have a vic at Mercy. I'll be by to pick you up in 30."

Olivia groaned on the other end of the line. It seemed like she had just gone to bed. "OK." She hung up, thinking that this was the beginning of what was going to be a very long day.

EOEOEOEOEO

The long day turned into 4 as they had a string of attacks over the next few days. By Thursday morning, the team was exhausted and no one had been home. They couldn't afford to let up. The rapid nature of the attacks meant this guy was escalating, and they needed to get this guy off the street.

Olivia had gone to the cribs to get some sleep about 5AM, and it was around 8 when Elliot had to go upstairs to wake her up. They hadn't had 5 minutes to themselves over the past four days, and Elliot had watched as the case and the lack of sleep wore her down. Fin had finally gotten her to agree to get some sleep early this morning, and he was glad that she had listened to him.

He walked into the cribs and saw she was dead to the world. She was lying on her side, facing the door and she had the blanket pulled up to her waist. She had one hand tucked under her head and the other lay in front of her. He really didn't want to wake her, but she had insisted that they let her sleep no more than three hours, and he knew there would be hell to pay if he let her sleep one minute more. He watched her for a few minutes, noticing how pale she was. She had dark circles under her eyes and he tried to think of the last time they'd had a bite to eat. He decided he was going to let her sleep a little longer; she could chew him out if she wanted to. He turned back towards the door when he heard her.

"You're supposed to be waking me up." She said, exhaustion evident in her voice.

He turned back towards her and saw her staring at him, her position unchanged. "Yeah. Well." He walked over towards her. "I think you should sleep a little longer."

"I'm fine." She rolled over on her back and rested her arm across her eyes. "I'm getting up."

"You're not going to do anyone any good like this." He said.

Olivia sat up in the bunk. "Drop it. I'm getting up." She ran her hand through her hair. "I'm going to take a shower and I'll be good as new."

"When's the last time you ate?" he asked.

"When's the last time you slept?" she countered.

He knew he wasn't going to be able to argue with her. He looked at his watch. "OK. It's a little after 8. I'm going to get some shut eye. Wake me up at 11. We're waiting for the latest autopsy results and the DNA search. When I wake up, we'll grab some lunch and then we'll go see Melinda. Deal?"

"Deal." She stood up and stretched.

Elliot looked towards the door and then back at Olivia. "You know…I might need a shower before I sleep." He placed his hands on her upper arms and rubbed his thumbs back and forth. "If you need some help." He winked at her.

Olivia couldn't keep a small smile from crossing her face. She placed her hands on his biceps and pushed them down so he was forced to drop. "That's a very interesting offer Detective, but we talked about this. Even if I had one ounce of energy for that, you know that's not a good idea."

"Who's to say what's a good idea and what's not? And I'll do all the work." Elliot gave her a devilish smile.

"It seems to me I've heard that before." She pushed him back and the back of his legs collided with the bunk. He had to catch himself to keep from collapsing on it. Olivia laughed. "Go to sleep."

"Do I get a good night kiss?"

Olivia smiled, shaking her head. "You're incorrigible." She looked at the door and then back at him. She leaned in and captured his lips with hers, and then pulled back quickly. He reached out to wrap his arm around her waist, but she was too quick for him and she caught his arm and pushed him backwards, forcing him to fall on the bunk this time. "I'll see you in three hours."

Elliot smiled up at her. "If you change your mind, you know where I am."

EOEOEOEO

Three hours later, Olivia was just as tired as she had been when she woke up. A shower and a couple of cups of coffee hadn't done anything to help as she poured through notes from the victims with Fin. She really needed to get some food, and was actually looking forward to getting out of the squad room and away from the cases, even if it was only for an hour. She felt like looking at the details for four days straight hadn't done them any good, and sometimes a break would bring some fresh perspective. Plus, she and Elliot hadn't had any time alone, unless you count the few minutes in the crib this morning. And not that she had the inclination or the energy for any kind of romantic liaison, it would be nice to talk a little. To talk about anything but the victims and the perp.

She trudged up the stairs, her energy level extremely low. When she got to the cribs, she saw that Elliot's cot was empty. She walked into the locker room and saw he was putting on a clean shirt.

"You're up." She said, startling him.

"I didn't really sleep very well." He grumbled.

Olivia leaned against the locker. "Yeah, those bunks aren't very comfortable."

"I'm starving." He turned to look at her. "Are we in a good spot to grab some lunch?"

Olivia nodded. "Melinda said she should have something by 2 so we can grab something and then stop at the morgue."

Elliot looked at her and once again was shocked by the exhaustion in her face. "Maybe you should go home and get some sleep."

"I just want to get some lunch and spend a little time with you."

Elliot raised his eyebrows at her.

"I don't mean like that." She said, giving him a smile. "I swear." She said, shaking her head. No one could be that horny all the time. She looked behind her to make sure no one was around. "But I do miss you." She said, placing a hand lightly on his arm and trailing her fingers down to his hand. She took his hand in hers and brought it over to her waist. "We need to find this guy and get him off the street so we can have a little alone time."

"I like that plan." He said, gripping her waist and tugging her towards him. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I miss you too." He brushed his lips against the shell of her ear and she shuddered. He placed a soft kiss on her cheek and wrapped his other arm around her waist.

"Stop." Olivia said quietly, placing her hands on his arms. "We agreed we wouldn't do this here. We can't risk getting caught."

Elliot sighed heavily, his hot breath expelling against her forehead. "I know." He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and released her. "Let's get something to eat and then get the update from Melinda so we can nail this bastard." He headed towards the door.

"Go ahead. I'll be right down."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia emerged about ten minutes later and she was halfway down the stairs before she saw her. Kathy Stabler was standing next to Elliot, her back to the stairs. Olivia stopped, her mind too tired to comprehend what she was seeing. Elliot looked up and caught her eyes, a warning look in them, and she swallowed hard, guilt and anger washing over her.

What the hell was _she_ doing here?

She knew her anger was misplaced. She was Elliot's wife; she had every right to be here. But she had wanted just one damned hour alone…apparently that was too much to ask. She closed her eyes for a second; she knew she was in no mood to deal with this. Her nerves were shot. She was exhausted. She was starving.

She opened her eyes and walked down the stairs and Kathy turned as she approached. "Hi Olivia." She said, pasting a fake smile on her face. Olivia didn't know the moment that she and Kathy Stabler had become enemies; it wasn't even as if they had ever been friends. She supposed it had started when Kathy had started suspecting there was more to their partnership than even they were willing to admit.

"Hi." Her eyes flicked over to Elliot's and she could see an apology there.

"Since my husband never seems to come home anymore, I thought I would bring him some clean clothes and grab some lunch."

 _Well, how nice for you_. She wanted to make some sort of snippy remark like that but she held her tongue. The remark Kathy made seemed directed at her and she wondered if Kathy came all the way down here to see if Elliot really was at work all of this time like he said he was. Was she suspicious?

"We're in the middle of a major case Kathy. I can't just go out to lunch." Elliot started to say.

"Fin told me that's where you were headed when I came in asking for you." Kathy said, challenging his comment.

"Well, Liv and I have to go to the morgue first…"

Olivia spoke up, still pissed off. "It's OK. I've got it. Go ahead and have lunch with your wife." She put extra emphasis on the word wife, and she knew she was being bitchy but she was too exhausted to care. This was just perfect. This pretty much summed up this entire shitty situation they were in. She grabbed her phone off her desk, and her jacket off the back of her chair, and stormed out of the squad room.

Olivia got outside of the precinct and went around the corner of the building before she stopped. She leaned against the brick wall, taking a deep breath. She didn't normally cry, but she was so exhausted that she felt like she might burst into tears at any moment. She grabbed her phone and hit Casey's number in her favorites. It rang three times and then went to voicemail. _Damn it._ She really needed to talk to someone. She closed her eyes and let her head drop back against the wall. She took a few deep breathes, trying to get control of her emotions.

She needed a plan. She let out a heavy sigh. OK. She was going to go get some lunch. She was going to go talk to Melinda and see what she had found. She was going to go back to the squad room and work the case for a few hours. And then she was going to go home. Alone.

And Elliot could go home with his wife. Where he belonged.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia felt better after she'd had some lunch and she headed towards the morgue. She was a little early, so she hoped that Melinda had the results. She wanted to get back to the squad room with the information and see if they could make any progress towards finding a suspect.

"Melinda?" she called, walking into the autopsy suite.

Olivia found her at her desk, filling out some paperwork. Melinda straightened up and gave Olivia a smile. "I was waiting for you. I'll be done in a few minutes." She finished up and sat back in her chair. "Where's Elliot?"

Olivia pressed her lips together in a tight smile. "He's tied up. Can you just fill me in?"

Melinda spent the next ten minutes giving her the information she had, and Olivia was disappointed that there was still no DNA on this victim. She took a copy of the files after Melinda told her she would call her if she found anything else. She was on her way back to the precinct when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was Elliot. She ignored it and kept driving. He called two more times before she got back to the precinct and she refused to pick up. She knew she was being petty and she had no reason to be angry, but she couldn't help herself.

When she walked into the squad room, she saw Elliot was at his desk. He jumped up when he saw her.

"I've been trying to reach you." He said angrily. "Why didn't you pick up?"

"I didn't hear my phone." She lied.

"BS." He challenged her. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I think I can handle picking up results from the morgue by myself." She snapped back. "I didn't want to interrupt your lunch." She threw the file on her desk and sat down in her chair.

He leaned over her desk, bracing his forearms on her desk. "So what? You're going to work this case by yourself?"

"Well, someone should be working." She sniped. She pushed her chair back from her desk and stood up, trying to brush past Elliot.

He grabbed her by the arm and stopped her. "Are you kidding me right now? What the hell is your problem?"

She wrenched her arm from his grasp. "Get your damn hands off me." She snapped.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Cragen stormed out of his office and stopped just a few feet from Olivia and Elliot. He had heard the yelling from his office, but he hadn't been able to hear what the argument was about. But he could tell by their body language that they were far from done with whatever they'd been fighting about.

"Does someone want to tell me what this is about?"

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and then back at the Captain. "Nothing." She said.

Cragen let out a heavy sigh. He knew neither one of them would tell him anything. He could see the exhaustion on their faces. "Go home."

"But Cap'n. We need to go through the info from Melinda." Olivia objected.

"You're no good like this. You need some rest."

"I'll do it." Said Elliot.

"No. Both of you go home. And don't come back until tomorrow."

Elliot started to object, but he saw the look on Cragen's face and knew arguing was pointless. Olivia walked back to her desk and grabbed her stuff out of her drawer, slamming it shut. She looked up at him and then turned and started walking out of the squad room. She didn't want to argue with Elliot any more. She didn't even want to talk to him.

Seeing Kathy at the precinct had made her feel so incredibly guilty; had made this entire situation so _real_ …once again. She was angry. Angry with Elliot for pushing her, and angry with herself for willingly submitting. Angry because she knew she should end this, but she didn't want to.

She stabbed at the elevator button, anxious to get the hell out of there. She just wanted to get home and crawl in bed and forget about this entire mess.

"Liv." She heard Elliot call her name. She didn't turn around, silently urging the elevator car to arrive.

"Liv." He said her name again and watched as she walked into the open elevator. He followed her inside, but he didn't say anything to her since there were other people around them. He followed her out of the precinct.

"Will you just wait a minute?" He said in an exasperated tone. "Just stop!"

Olivia knew that if she didn't stop, he'd just follow her home. She spun around. "What?" She put her hands on her hips, as if preparing for a fight.

"What did you want me to do? She just showed up here." Elliot knew she was upset about Kathy. He had seen it in her body language the minute she had come down the stairs. "What did you expect me to do?"

Olivia gave him a tight lipped smile and shook her head. "I don't expect anything from you." She said, her voice cold. "And I don't want to have this conversation right now." She let out a heavy sigh. "Just go home Elliot."

"I don't want to go home." He said. "Let me come home with you."

"That's not going to happen." She said. She couldn't believe he was even suggesting it.

Elliot saw the look on her face. "I know you're upset. I know you don't want to talk about it." He reached up and touched her cheek briefly and she flinched slightly, surprised by the touch. "Please. I just want to be there with you."

Olivia closed her eyes, knowing she should tell him to go home. But she was too tired to fight him. And if she was being honest with herself, she wanted him there. She nodded and the ride to her apartment was silent. When they got there, the both dumped their guns and badges on the kitchen counter and toed off their shoes.

Without a word, she took his hand and led him into the bedroom. He watched as she undressed quietly and pulled an oversized t-shirt over her head. She crawled into bed and rolled over on her side, facing him. He hesitated for a second, and saw her eyes slip closed. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and took off his jeans. He walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled in. He rolled over on his side as well, so he was facing her back, but he made no move to touch her or get any closer.

He watched her breathing, aching to touch her…he wanted to make things right but he knew now wasn't the time. He let out a sigh. He was just about to close his eyes when he saw her arm reach back towards him. He hesitated a second, before he took her hand with his. She tugged him towards her and he moved closer to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back towards him and he felt her relax against him. He placed a kiss on the crown of her head and closed his eyes. In minutes, they were both sound asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Elliot woke up and was a little disoriented. The room was pitch black, and it took a few minutes for him to remember that he was at Olivia's. He wasn't sure what time they had fallen in bed, but he knew it had been mid-afternoon and that he had been sleeping hard since he'd wrapped himself around Olivia and closed his eyes.

His eyes were adjusting to the darkness and he looked around the room. He saw Olivia sitting on the edge of the bed, her back to him. She had her arms braced on the edge of the bed and her head was bowed.

He stretched out his arm on the bed towards her. "Liv." He said quietly. "Everything OK?"

She didn't respond right away, so he rolled over on his side and placed a hand lightly on her arm. Her skin was cold, and it made him wonder how long she had been sitting there like that.

"Hey." He whispered. "Come back to bed. You're freezing." He looked over at the clock and saw it was almost midnight. Even though he'd had over 8 hours of sleep, he still felt exhausted. "Come on." He pulled on her arm slightly, trying to urge her back towards him.

Olivia resisted him. She'd been awake for over a half an hour and had been thinking things through. She'd been wrong to think they could carry on this affair without getting in too deep or without anyone getting hurt. People were going to get hurt. She realized that she never should have said yes. This wasn't the first time she'd thought about that night and how she should have been strong enough for both of them. She let out a sigh. She could be strong now.

She pulled her arm from his grasp. "I think you should go home." She said quietly.

Elliot hadn't been expecting that but he decided to ignore her. They both needed to get some sleep. "C'mon. We're both still exhausted. Just come back to bed." He reached up and tugged at her arm again.

"I'm not coming back to bed." She said.

Elliot sat up and moved closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and buried his face in her hair. "You need some more sleep." He whispered.

Olivia's eyes slipped close. This was so hard for her; even harder with Elliot wrapped around her. She breathed in deeply, trying to commit this to memory. The feel of his arms around her, the heat of his body against hers, the warmth of his breath against her skin. She felt safe. She felt loved. She wanted to keep him here with her forever.

 _He's not yours to keep_. The words floated in, breaking the daze she was in.

She shrugged her body, pushing him off of her. "I don't need more sleep." She said emphatically. "I need you to go home." She stood up and moved away from the bed. He moved and take the place she had recently vacated.

"Chrissakes." He scrubbed his hands over his face. "I know you want to talk about what happened today…or yesterday. Whatever. But I'm still tired and it's the middle of the night. So can we please talk about this in the morning?"

She turned to face him, her arms crossed over her body with her hands on her shoulders, almost in a protective mode. "There's nothing to talk about."

Elliot sat and watched her for a moment and sighed. "OK. Let's talk now."

Olivia interrupted him before he could say anything else. "I said there's nothing to talk about." She took in deep breath. "I made a mistake."

Elliot drew his brows together. "What?"

"This was a mistake." She moved her arms down over her stomach, still hugging herself. She was glad it was dark so Elliot couldn't see her face, because she was pretty sure he would be able to see the conflict on her face. This was harder than she thought it would be. "We had fun but now it's over."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Elliot said, trying to keep the anger of his tone but not quite succeeding.

"We never should have let this happen. But it did and it was fun, but now it's over."

Elliot stood up and turned on the lamp on the nightstand. The room was filled with soft light, and Olivia looked away from the light. "It was fun?" He took a step towards her. "It's over?" He shook his head and took another step towards her and she turned to look at him. "You're acting like this is some kind of fling."

"It is. It was." Olivia said, setting her jaw and biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. She could see the hurt on Elliot's face at her words.

"I know you don't feel that way Olivia. So drop it. We've had this argument before. I'm not going anywhere." He crossed his arms. They'd had the conversation…this argument…before. And agreed they couldn't help how they felt and that it was too late to go back. So he was frustrated that she was doing this again. "Are we done with this conversation now?"

"Maybe we've had this conversation before, but I wasn't thinking clearly then." She paused. "But I'm thinking clearly now. And I realized that I really can't let this go on. It's not fair to your wife or your family."

"I thought you weren't going to make any ultimatums." Elliot said. It's not that he hadn't thought about leaving Kathy; he had. But he and Olivia hadn't had any time to talk about the future.

"I'm not making an ultimatum. I'm telling you it's over and to go back to your wife."

"Just like that." It was a statement, not a question. He was angry now. "Why do _you_ get to decide when this relationship this over?"

"Relationship?" She shook her head. "This isn't a relationship. It's sex."

"Sex? This is more than that Olivia and you know it." He walked over to her and leaned in, his face in hers. "Seven years. This has all been building up for seven years. You're my best friend. The person I want to spend all of my time with. You're my other half. The better part of me. This isn't about sex and you know it." His eyes moved back and forth between hers. "I love you!"

Olivia wanted to grab hold of him and kiss the hell out of him. She wanted to drag him into bed and show him how much she loved him. She looked into his blue eyes that were trained on hers. She reminded herself that she was doing this for him. For his family. For their partnership. For their jobs. She couldn't let their affair take them down.

"Well, I don't love you." She said harshly.

Elliot looked into her eyes for a second longer, and Olivia registered the pain in his eyes. She watched as he took a step backward.

He continued to look at her eyes. He wanted to shake her and ask her why she was lying. But he could tell by the set of her jaw that he wasn't going to get any more out of her tonight.

"If you want me to leave Olivia, I'll leave." He said angrily. He turned and grabbed his jeans off the floor and pulled them on. He turned back towards her as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. He started walking to the door but he kept his eyes trained on her, hoping she would break and ask him to stay. He paused at the door, and realized she wasn't going to say another word. "This is far from over." He spit out as he walked through the door, slamming it behind him.

As soon as she heard the apartment door slam, Olivia let herself collapse onto the floor. She leaned up against the wall and pulled her knees to her chest, grasping them to her with her arms. She dropped her head down against her knees, finding no solace in having done the right thing.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was mad as hell when he left Olivia's, and the last place he wanted to go was home. He made his way to the precinct, and decided to work off some of his frustration in the gym. Then he took a shower and tried to get some sleep in the cribs. It had been fairly useless though; he was too worked up. He finally got up about six, got changed and headed down to the squad room. He went to grab some coffee and was surprised to see Cragen was already there.

Cragen furrowed his brow when he saw him. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought I sent you home."

Elliot sighed. "Yeah, well. I got some sleep and woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep any more. So I just came here." Technically, he wasn't lying.

Cragen seemed to consider his words. "Elliot, is there anything I need to know about? Trouble at home?" He probed.

Elliot shook his head. The Captain should know that Elliot didn't divulge a lot about his personal life, and certainly wasn't going to confide in him. "Nah."

"OK. Well, when Olivia gets here, I want to talk to the both of you." He said, heading into his office.

Elliot sat down, wondering what it was about. It seemed like his whole life had gone to shit. His mood hadn't improved when Olivia walked in the door an hour and a half later. He took a kind of perverse pleasure in the fact that she didn't look like she had gotten any more sleep than he had. But it pissed him off because he was the only one that could tell; she still looked fucking gorgeous.

She didn't look at him and he didn't say a word to her as she sat down at her desk. He had been reading over the notes from Melinda and when he glanced over at her, he could see she was doing the same. Cragen came out of his office about ten minutes later, and saw both of them sitting there. He could feel the tension in the air. He looked over at Fin and Fin shrugged his shoulders, as if to tell him that he didn't know what the hell was going on.

"Listen up." Everyone turned their attention to him. "We've been killing ourselves to try to find this latest suspect and we're no closer to finding him than we were five days ago. We can't keep up at this rate, so we have two detectives on loan from Brooklyn SVU. Andy McMahon and Anthony Castillo. They should be here shortly and then John..." he looked over at Munch. "I want you to bring them and Benson and Stabler up to speed on everything from yesterday." He looked back and forth between all of the detectives, but didn't get any pushback. He knew they were as frustrated as he was about the lack of leads and of progress. He started to walk back to his office and then turned back to face them. "Oh, and to ease the transition, Benson, you're going to partner up with McMahon and Stabler you have Castillo." He registered the look of surprise on both Elliot's and Olivia's faces, but neither one of them said anything. Further proof to him that they needed a break from each other…which is exactly why he'd done it when the opportunity presented itself.

EOEOEOEOEO

McMahon and Castillo had shown up, introductions were made and Elliot couldn't help but notice the way both of them eyed Olivia. It really shouldn't have surprised him; she garnered stares from men every damn day. But this got his blood boiling because now this asshole McMahon was going to be partnered with her. And of course, he was the younger one of the two, and good looking on top of it. He didn't notice a wedding ring on his hand, but he knew from personal experience it wouldn't have necessarily meant much if he had.

It had been two days now and he'd barely seen Olivia without McMahon by her side. He watched now as he sat down on the corner of her desk and leaned over slightly, talking to her. She laughed at whatever he'd said and Elliot was infuriated.

"Do you mind?" he asked. "Trying to work here." He saw Olivia shoot him a dirty look and go back to her conversation. She laughed again and Elliot shook his head. Was she actually _flirting_ with him? Right in front of him? He stood up abruptly, almost knocking his chair over.

"Liv. Can I talk to you for a minute?" He said, trying to moderate his voice.

Olivia looked up at him. She wasn't surprised at his outburst. Frankly, she was surprised it had taken this long for him to break down and try to talk to her. And she had figured when Cragen had paired her with McMahon, it would take even less time.

McMahon was a nice guy, and he had been subtly hitting on her, but she had nicely deflected his invitations for coffee and for lunch. She had told him she didn't date people she worked with, and she had managed to say with a straight face. It didn't keep him from trying, but it wasn't hindering their ability to work together, and she found that she liked working with him. It wasn't Elliot, but she was a little glad she had a break from him for now. At least until they got over this…thing. She couldn't envision not being teamed up with Elliot…she just needed some space.

"Liv." Elliot said again, impatience in his voice.

Olivia looked up at Andy and then over at Elliot. "Not right now." She said.

"It's important." He said.

She saw Andy's surprised expression out of the corner of her eye and she knew Elliot wasn't going to drop it. She stood up. "I'll be right back." She said to Andy. She walked towards Elliot. "You have minute." She said, walking out of the squad room and heading towards the cribs. She figured whatever Elliot had to tell her probably wasn't something they wanted to talk about in the hallway.

Elliot was right behind her as they walked into the cribs. She turned around to face him as the door closed behind him.

"What's so important that you have to talk to me right this second?" Olivia snapped. She knew she had to keep going with anger so that whatever Elliot had to say wouldn't sway her.

"How are things working out with your new partner?" he asked, and she could hear the sarcasm in his voice as he spat out the words.

"It's just temporary." She said. "You know that."

"Yeah, well I don't think he wants it to be temporary." He said. "I've seen the way he looks at you."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Please don't do this. Why do you think that every man that talks to me wants to sleep with me?"

"Because they do. And you know that."

Olivia decided to ignore his comments because nothing good was going to come of this conversation. "Is that what you wanted to talk about or is there really something important you wanted to discuss?"

Elliot let out a frustrated sigh. "I wanted to talk about the other night."

 _Great. Another topic I don't want to discuss_. Olivia thought to herself. "I already told you there's nothing to discuss." She said.

"Don't say that." Elliot said. "I told you that wasn't the end of it but I just haven't seen you. You've been avoiding me."

"I haven't been avoiding you. In case you haven't noticed, we're working a case."

"You know what I mean." Elliot said, frustrated that she was purposefully being difficult. "And don't try to piss me off so you can get out of this conversation."

"I have to get back downstairs." Olivia said, making a move to walk past him.

Elliot grabbed her arm lightly, stopping her progress. He pulled her towards him, breathing in her scent as his mouth connected with her ear. "I miss you." He whispered.

Olivia closed her eyes, feeling the heat of his hand on her arm as his fingers gripped her bicep.

"Tell me you don't miss me." He said softly. He practically held his breath; mentally urging her to tell him the truth.

His hope disappeared when he heard the lie fall from her lips. "I don't miss you." She said, pulling her arm from his grasp.

And then she was gone.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot didn't have an opportunity to talk to Olivia one on one during any time over the next three days. She was either gone or with one of the other detectives. It seemed like fucking McMahon was with her every minute she was in the damned precinct, and Elliot noticed how close they had become. There were several times he wondered if she'd actually slept with him; knowing he was being an absolute idiot but finding that he couldn't help himself.

Their break came the next day when they finally caught their suspect. He'd been sloppy with his last two victims, and they'd been able to get DNA and a good description. Some good Samaritan had spotted him and now they had him cooling off in one of the interrogation rooms. Olivia and McMahon were taking the first shift, and had been questioning him for the past three hours. Elliot was watching the interrogation, and while he was listening, he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that McMahon would be leaving and he would get his partner back.

EOEOEOEOEO

It was three hours later when they're perp lawyered up. Olivia and McMahon were gone with Elliot and his partner got out of interrogation. Cragen sent them home and told them to take the next day off since they'd been at it 24/7. Elliot was too tired to argue. He hadn't seen his kids in a week.

He pulled in the driveway and sat there for a second, trying to collect himself. He knew the kids were probably already getting ready for bed. They had school the next day. He let out a heavy sign and headed inside. Immediately, Liz was in his arms, giving him a big hug and he was genuinely happy to see her. He saw Dick come down the stairs, and he knew better than to expect a hug from him.

"Hey." He said and Dick nodded at him. He saw Kathy come out down stairs then, ready for bed. He could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't happy and he knew he hadn't called often enough over this past week to tell her what was going on. He felt like such a prick.

"I'm sorry guys." He said, throwing out a kind of general apology. "It's been a tough week." He toed off his shoes and walked into the living room, sitting down heavily in the chair. "So tell me what's been happening this week."

Liz proceeded to tell him everything that had happened during the week, providing much more detail than he needed, but he smiled as she told him. His youngest daughter had always been so sweet and relatively quiet, and with the drama of her siblings, he knew she didn't get the attention she craved. Dick had chimed in every once in a while to correct her story and he knew he wouldn't hear much more than that. He was glad he had brought Dick to the football game at Fins, because he could see how quickly he was growing up. And he was missing all of it.

After fifteen minutes, Kathy ushered the kids up to bed and quiet descended. Kathy came back into the living room and handed Elliot a beer. She sat down on the couch and just looked at him as he thanked her.

"Have you eaten?" she asked.

"I'm fine." He said, taking a swig of his beer. He sighed heavily and rested the beer on his thigh, twisting the bottle around as he stared at it. He could tell Kathy wanted to say something, but he was so tired that he hoped she would just drop whatever it was for tonight.

"It would have been nice to have heard from this week. You know I don't ask for a lot, but a check-in every once in a while would have been nice."

He could hear that she was trying not to be angry, but she couldn't completely keep it out of her tone.

"I was working 24/7. This case was a killer and I was dealing with a new partner and it was just a shit week, so I'm sorry I didn't call you but you knew where I was."

"You have a new partner?" Kathy asked, her tone lifting slightly. "What happened to Olivia?"

"Nothing happened to Olivia. We just got some help on this case and they paired us up with these new guys."

"Why did they do that?"

"I don't know." Elliot said, frustration evident in his tone. "Cragen doesn't sit down and explain those things to me."

"You don't have to get snippy. I was just asking." Kathy said. "And I know your busy and I know you're working but is it really that hard to call home and let me know you're not going to be home that night?"

"I know. I know. I'm an asshole. I'm a crappy father and an even crappier husband. But when I'm at work, I'm working. And when I'm here, I'm here."

"I just don't think it's a big deal for you to pick up the phone for 2 seconds. And besides, even when you're home you're getting calls and texts from Olivia all hours of the day and night."

Elliot slammed his beer down on the table. "OK, where there it is. This fight isn't about me being at work or not calling you. It's about Olivia." He shook his head. "It's always about Olivia."

Kathy let out a heavy sigh. She had really not meant to bring Olivia into this conversation. It really had been about him not calling all damn week. "I didn't say that."

"No. You brought her up. So if you want to talk about Olivia, let's talk about her."


	17. Chapter 17

**From the end of the last chapter**.

 _Elliot slammed his beer down on the table. "OK, well there it is. This fight isn't about me being at work or not calling you. It's about Olivia." He shook his head. "It's always about Olivia."_

 _Kathy let out a heavy sigh. She had really not meant to bring Olivia into this conversation. It really had been about him not calling all damn week. "I didn't say that."_

" _No. You brought her up. So if you want to talk about Olivia, let's talk about her."_

EOEOEOEO

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He knew he needed to talk to Kathy, and he wanted that discussion to be about _their_ marriage. And their marriage only. He very specifically did _not_ want to talk about Olivia. And he didn't want it to all come out in an argument. When the time was right, they would sit down and have a rational discussion. They would talk things through.

He needed to diffuse the situation, and he needed to apologize to Kathy because she was right. She should be able to expect a call from him and to know what was going on.

"I didn't mean to yell like that." He said. "I'm just really tired. It's just been a long week but you're right. I should have called."

Kathy was surprised at the sudden change in his demeanor and the apology. She eyed him warily to see what he was going to say next.

Elliot saw the look on her face. He could tell she was surprised by his apology. He realized maybe he'd been a bigger ass than he'd thought. Another reason to have a talk with her. She deserved a hell of a lot more than he could offer.

"I didn't mean to snap at you. I know it's been a long week. I was just saying I deserve a little consideration." She repeated, knowing she was pushing it. But she had to get this off her chest because it was gnawing away at her. "We're not your family just when it's convenient for you."

Elliot scrubbed his hand over his face, glad that the conversation had steered away from Olivia. "You're right." He said, his voice considerably calmer than just a few minutes ago.

"So…" Kathy started, waiting for Elliot to give her the usual speech about trying to make it home for dinner more and making his family a priority.

Elliot realized that she wasn't going to drop it. He felt a sudden urge to talk; to discuss this now rather than later. He interrupted her. "Kathy. We need to talk."

Kathy froze.

Elliot leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he dropped his head down. He took in a deep breath. "Your absolutely right. I haven't been here for you or the kids." He had to own up to his own bad behavior.

Kathy started back-peddling, her sense of self-preservation kicking in. "I know your job is demanding, and I know how dedicated you are to catching those creeps. The work you do is important. I was just pointing out that you could call." She paused. She was scared. This wasn't how these conversations typically went. Elliot wasn't usually this calm. She felt tears welling up, threatening to spill over her lower lashes.

"Are you happy with the way things are?" he asked quietly, sitting up and leaning back in the chair.

"I wish you were home more." She said.

"That's not what I'm talking about." He said. "And you know it."

"I know we're going through a rough time but maybe if we spent more time together…"

"Do you really think that if I was home at 5 every day that everything would be wonderful? That we'd be in a different place than we are right now?"

"You don't?" Kathy asked.

Elliot didn't want to hurt her but he knew he had to be honest. "No. I don't."

"What are you saying?" Kathy voice broke, and he saw a tear run down her cheek.

"We've grown apart." Elliot said quietly. "We're not the same people anymore." Elliot was frustrated with himself. He had thought about having this talk, but hadn't figured out everything he wanted to say and now he was bungling it. He had wanted to handle it in a way that would minimize her pain but now she was sitting there in front of him trying to stem the tide of tears.

"You're saying you don't love me anymore?" Tears were streaming down her face now, and she swiped at them as she looked at Elliot.

He resisted the urge to move closer; to comfort her and tell her it was a mistake. He was this far in. He had to keep going; keep being honest with her. She deserved that. Because truly, he knew that he wasn't making her happy any more. He was never home. He missed all kinds of events. She worried about him on the job. He missed her birthday…their anniversary. She deserved so much more than he had to offer.

"Kathy, I will always love you. But we fell in love when we were 17. We're a lot older now and I'm just not _in_ love with you anymore." He watched her as she struggled with what he was saying. "Can you honestly say that you're in love with me?"

"We've been married for over 20 years. We have a family." She pleaded, not wanting to believe what she was hearing.

"I'm not saying I regret being married for 20 years. You know better than that. And you know there's no question about how I feel about the kids. But I don't think we're doing them any favors by staying in an unhappy marriage."

"I'm making your life miserable?"

Elliot let out a sigh. "I never said that. I think I make _your_ life miserable. You deserve better. It hasn't been working for a long time."

Kathy sniffled a little, and Elliot could tell she was thinking about what he said.

He pressed on. "It's not about me being here. You know that if I would have been here more, the only thing that would have been different is that we maybe would have realized it sooner."

He stood up and moved next to her on the couch. "Kathy, you should be with someone that can give you the love and attention you deserve. I'm not that person anymore." He leaned back against the back of the couch. "I've changed. This job…it's affected me. And I'm not the same person you fell in love with." He put a hand on her back, rubbing it gently.

"Are you telling me you want a divorce?"

Elliot's hand froze for a moment, and then he started rubbing her back again. "I guess…yes."

"You don't want to try to work things out? Maybe go to counseling? We can talk to Father Quinn."

Elliot sat up, removing his hand from her back. "I think it's too late for that. I… We just need to move on." He stood up and walked back across to the fireplace, resting his hands on the mantle. He could hear Kathy still sniffling behind him.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah." Elliot said, sighing heavily. He stretched his arms out, still facing the fireplace.

"Does Olivia have anything to do with this?"

"No." Elliot said.

"Turn around and look at me." She demanded.

Elliot turned around to face her.

"You've been honest with me tonight" she said, her tears gone now. "Don't start lying to me now." She stood up and took a few steps towards him. "Does Olivia have anything to do with this?"

Elliot ran his hand back and forth over his chin. "You and me. This..." He waved a hand back and forth between them. "Has been over for a while. She doesn't have anything to do with this."

"I don't think that I believe you." She was practically yelling now.

"Let's just focus on our relationship and not drag her into this" He said, unsure of what more to say.

"Not drag her into this? How can I avoid dragging her into it? This is her fault." She stood up and took a step towards him. "All these years. All of our arguments. I asked you if you were having an affair and you lied to my face." She was still yelling and Elliot looked nervously at the stairs, wondering if the kids were still asleep. "

"I didn't lie to you." Elliot closed his eyes briefly. "We weren't having an affair."

"But you are now?" Her face was flushed; her anger evident.

"Yes." He said quietly, knowing he couldn't lie to her.

"You son of a bitch." She said harshly, and before he could register what was happening, she slapped him hard across the face. "You want _me_ to be happy?" She let out a strangled laugh. "Right. This is all about _you_."

His hand went to his cheek, surprised by her actions. In all of their married life, he was the one with the quick temper and the brooding nature. Kathy was always calm and cool. But right now she was standing in front of them, her entire world crumbling and he saw nothing but fear.

"I didn't…"

"Don't you dare tell me you didn't mean for this to happen. Like you have no control over yourself." She was standing just a foot away from him now and her anger was barely contained. "She could have any damned man she wants…" She ran her hands through her hair. "I _trusted_ her. And I believed you when you told me nothing was going on."

Elliot knew it wouldn't matter if he told her they'd only been sleeping together for a month. He knew everything she was accusing him of was true. He been cheating on her emotionally for years. He'd broken his marriage vows. This was all on him. The pain he caused her. The pain he caused Olivia. She didn't deserve the blame.

"It's not her fault. She did more to encourage me to work on our marriage than I did."

"Excuse me if I don't want to hear what a saint your _mistress_ is." Kathy said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry." Elliot said, reaching out for her. "I don't know what else I can say." He really hadn't want this conversation to happen this way.

She slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me." She hissed. She took a few steps back. "And I think you've said enough."

Elliot could see tears in her eyes again and he knew she was probably about to break down. He felt like an absolute prick and he wished there would have been a way to avoid hurting her like this. "I'm so sorry Kathy." He said quietly. "I know you won't believe me, but I really do want something better for you. And I know you don't want to hear this, but I do love you. I always will."

Her head jerked up. "Don't you say that to me." She stood up. "You need to pack a bag and leave. I don't want you here."

Elliot watched her disappear into the kitchen. He debated following her. He didn't want things to end like this, but he honestly didn't know what else there was to say. He knew she needed to cool off before they could talk again and decide where to go from here.

He walked upstairs and grabbed a duffle bag. He started to throw some clothes inside, not even paying attention to what he was packing. His heart felt heavy. He had never been foolish enough to think that this wouldn't be hard on Kathy and the kids, but he had truly underestimated the pain. For them and for him. He grabbed a few more things from the bathroom, and zipped up the bag. He walked back downstairs and looked towards the kitchen. He could hear Kathy crying softly and he gritted his teeth, knowing he couldn't comfort her.

He headed towards the front door and closed it quietly behind him. He climbed in the car, wondering where in the hell he was going to go now.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia slept in the next day. She had been exhausted and needed the rest. When she got up, she saw the sun was shining. She snagged her phone off the nightstand, and was surprised she didn't have any messages. Based on past behavior, she had expected she would have heard from Elliot. She was a little mad at herself for feeling disappointed that she hadn't. She had wanted to end it because it was the right thing to do. But it didn't mean it was easy.

She decided she had to get out of the apartment and decided she would go for a run. She could use the exercise and the fresh air. She pulled on her running gear, tucked her key in the pocket of her yoga pants, and headed out towards the park.

As she ran, she wondered what was going on with Elliot and what he thought about where they had left things. It had both a blessing and a curse to have been apart the past few days. She thought it was good because they needed the space, but bad because she had no idea how he was feeling about things. Would they be able to go back to working together like before? Or was their partnership irrevocably changed?

She slowed down and then came to a stop, breathing heavily. She leaned over, bracing her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. It had been a while since she'd been running; they had been so busy she wasn't getting her regular exercise regimen in and she made a mental note that she needed to get to the gym more.

She walked for a while, getting her breathing under control. She finally started running again, vowing not to stop until she made it home. Maybe if she exhausted herself, she could stop thinking about Elliot.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was a little nervous when she got to work the next day. She hadn't heard from Elliot at all, and she didn't know what to expect when she saw him again. She was running a little late, and was surprised he wasn't at his desk when she got there.

She hadn't been sitting at her desk for more than ten minutes when Cragen came out of his office.

"Olivia." He said. "Elliot's taking a personal day so you'll be working solo today. If something comes up, then we'll decide if you need to pair up with Fin or Munch."

She was surprised by what Cragen had told her. She could count on one hand the number of times either she or Elliot took personal time off. "Is everything OK?" she asked.

Cragen looked at her in surprise. He figured if anyone knew what was going on with Elliot, it would be her. "You tell me." He said.

"I haven't talked to him." She said. "I'm sure it's fine." She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself. She had to admit she was a little concerned. She picked up her phone and debated whether or not she should call him. But she decided that she wouldn't. If he wanted to reach out to her, he would. She turned her attention back to her work and tried to focus.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He took out the milk and eggs and then closed the door. He grabbed the other few items he had picked up and put them in the cupboard. He leaned back against the counter, looking at the empty cupboard with a box of pasta and cereal in it and nothing else. He stood up and slammed the door shut. He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch he had picked up. He looked around the empty room, and let out a heavy sigh. One second hand couch and a used lamp. That's what his life had come to.

It was too quiet. He hadn't lived by himself…well…ever. He missed the sound of his kids tearing around the house. He missed breaking up fights between Dickie and Liz. He knew he would miss it all. That was his biggest regret about leaving home. But he knew that everything he had said to Kathy was true, and that the kids weren't necessarily better off with two parents that weren't happy together.

This was his new reality, and he had to learn to adjust. He knew the kids would adjust to.

He picked up the phone and checked his messages. He thought he might have heard from Olivia since he hadn't gone to work today. But there weren't any messages from her. He tried to squelch his disappointment. He wanted to call her; he just wanted to hear her voice.

He wondered what she would think if he told her he'd left his wife. He wondered if she was thinking about him right now.

He pulled up her info on speed dial; his finger poised over the SEND button. God, he wanted to talk to her. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He closed the phone and set it down.

He had to get his life together before he could ask her to be a part of it.


	18. Chapter 18

When Olivia came in the next morning, her heart skipped a beat when she saw Elliot seated at his desk. He was on the phone, and he looked up at her as she walked in. She hung up her coat and moved back towards her desk. She looked over and saw Munch and Fin weren't at their desks, and the Captain's door was closed. She moved around her desk and stood next to Elliot's. He hung up the phone less than a minute later and leaned back in his chair, looking up at her.

She wanted to ask him where he was on the previous day, but she knew it really wasn't any of her business. He would volunteer the information or not. "Is everything OK?"

"Yeah."

Olivia opened her mouth and that closed it again, debating what to say next. She tilted her head slightly, and scanned the room again. "Are _we_ OK?"

Elliot pressed his lips together and nodded his head. "Yeah. We're good."

Olivia sighed. It was obvious he wasn't going to share much information. She found herself nodding her head as well. She gave him a small smile, her lips pressed together. "OK." She turned around and walked back to her desk and sat down.

She had been worried he would be upset or angry with her for breaking things off, but he didn't seem to be. He was just…distant. She wasn't sure if that was better or not, but she hoped things would return to normal after a couple of days.

Before she could dwell on it any longer, Cragen came out of his office. "Benson. Stabler. We got a rape homicide down in Chelsea." He handed Elliot a slip of paper. "Get down there."

"On it." Elliot said. He grabbed his coat and then hers, and handed it to her as she walked towards him.

"Thanks."

They walked out together, but they were both quiet as they waited for the elevator and on the walk to the car. Olivia looked over a couple of times as they drove but Elliot started straight ahead. She let out another sign and stared out the window to her right.

Another few minutes had passed before Olivia heard Elliot's voice. "How are you doing?"

Olivia turned back towards him. "I'm OK." She was telling the truth. She hoped Elliot knew that this was as hard for her as it was for him.

"Good." He said. He didn't know what to say to her; he had really hoped it wouldn't be this awkward. He wanted to tell her everything that had happened, but the time wasn't right yet. He and Kathy were still talking, trying to figure out when and what to tell the kids, and he was still trying to get set up in his apartment. He was trying to get everything straightened out so that when the time came, he would be free and clear to pursue a relationship with Olivia. He looked over at her and saw she had turned back to stare out the window again. He could tell she was struggling too and he wished he could pull her into his arms and comfort her.

"Liv." She turned back towards him. Her hands were resting in her lap, and he placed his hand over hers. "We're OK."

She gave him another small smile and nodded. That was all she could give him right now.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

The case they were working on dragged on all week, and ended with the ex-boyfriend behind bars. Olivia had barely had a chance to talk to Elliot. As soon as they were done every night, he disappeared from the precinct, and Olivia assumed he was trying to make amends by spending more time at home. Everyone was going out for a drink tonight and she wondered if he would go.

"You going to Maloney's?" she asked, trying to be casual about it. She really hoped he would say yes. She didn't want anything to happen; but she missed him. She just wanted to talk…to try to get her best friend back. There was too much distance between them now.

"Nah. I got stuff going on tonight."

Olivia tried not to look disappointed. She looked around to see if anyone was in earshot. She bit her bottom lip, trying to decide if she could push him a little. "You can't make it for just one?"

Elliot looked up at her and saw the hopeful look on her face. He wanted to go, but he had agreed to meet with Kathy again tonight. They had talked a few times since she had asked him to leave and she finally understood that he wasn't interested in working things out. He had been worried that she would do something crazy like confront Olivia, but she had actually had been fairly resigned to what was going on. In fact, she hadn't brought up Olivia once all week. Maureen and Kathleen were coming home, and they were going to tell the kids they were getting a divorce and work out living arrangements with Dick and Lizzie.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

"Oh OK." She said, looking away quickly.

Elliot didn't miss the look on her face. "Liv."

She looked back at him. 'Yeah."

"Maybe we can grab dinner or something tomorrow?"

Olivia furrowed her brow slightly. Going out for drinks with everyone was one thing, but going out for dinner alone was another. Especially on their day off. It was too much like a date. She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe."

Elliot could see the wheels turning in her head and he knew exactly what she was thinking. He decided to leave it alone; he would tell her everything tomorrow. "OK. I'll give you a call tomorrow though. OK?"

She nodded and he watched as she grabbed her coat and followed Fin out of the squad room. In a way, this was all surreal to him. He had never been the best at dealing with emotions or overcoming the tremendous amount of responsibility he always felt. He usually fell victim to anger and brooding, but this felt different. He knew what he wanted…who he wanted. And he knew he had to take care of things so there was a clear path forward. So there were no obstacles. Because once he and Kathy told the kids, he had every intention of telling Olivia exactly how he felt even if she didn't want to hear it.

EOEOEOEOEO

Kathy and Elliot sat down with the kids and as agreed, Elliot was the one that broke the news. Not surprisingly, none of the kids were that shocked by the news of their parents pending divorce. They had lived through enough arguments and fights and tension in the house to know that things weren't always good between their parents. Kathy had graciously agreed to omit the part about Olivia, at least at this time. He knew that if things were going to move ahead with Olivia, he would have to tell them eventually. But he wanted to let things settle out first.

Liz was the only one that shed a few tears, but for the most part, the kids' questions were limited to where their Dad was going to live and if they were going to have to move back and forth. Elliot assured them that he would like to work something out so he could see them on a regular basis, but that he wasn't going to make them do anything they didn't want to do. He knew living in the city made it tough with school, so they would do what they could.

Everyone was in a fairly somber mood, and all of the kids asked to be excused. He heard them all tromp up the stairs, and he was surprised Maureen and Kathleen were staying. He hoped the kids would talk and support each other.

"So, that went better than I thought it would." Said Kathy, taking a sip of her coffee.

Elliot scrubbed his hand over his face. "Yeah.' He got up and poured himself some coffee. He brought the carafe over and refilled Kathy's mug. He sat down across from her. "You OK?"

Kathy sighed. 'I guess so. It's not like I have a choice."

Elliot grimaced. He let her have the shot. He supposed he deserved it, and he didn't want to argue any more.

"I'm just going to grab a few more things and then I'm gonna get going."

"Elliot." Kathy said, looking up at him and he could see the pleading in her eyes. "I just can't believe this is over. That we're getting divorced."

"I'm sorry Kath." He walked over and she stood up. He pulled her into an embrace. He kissed the top of her head. "You know that I never expected things to work out this way. And I'll be there for you and the kids. Whatever you need."

"I know." She knew that he would take extra care to make sure he saw the kids and was there for their events. And that if she needed anything, he would still be there to support her.

He kissed the top of her head. "I want you to be happy Kathy. I hope you can find someone that can do that for you."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was just leaving the gym with Casey early Saturday morning, headed for a nearby coffee shop, when her phone rang. She grabbed it from her pocket and saw it was Elliot calling.

"Why don't you go ahead and I'll meet you there." She told Casey. "It'll just be a minute." Casey nodded and kept going as Olivia stopped and stepped out of the foot traffic.

"Benson." She answered.

"Hey." Elliot said. "Did I wake you?" It was times like these that Elliot realized there was a lot about Olivia's life outside of work that he didn't know. Things such as did she sleep in and lay around on her days' off?

Olivia laughed. "No. You didn't wake me. It's 9AM El. I'm just leaving the gym. I met Casey here this morning. What are you doing calling me so early?" As far as she knew, Saturdays were family time at the Stabler house. She always imagined them sitting around at breakfast and running errands and going to kids events all day.

"I want to see you today."

Olivia hesitated before she answered. "I don't think that's a good idea." She thought back to how calm and cool things had been since she had broken things off. She didn't want to risk another momentary lapse in judgment sending them back to square one. Because if she was being honest with herself, she didn't know what would happen if she found herself alone with Elliot.

"I just want to talk to you. Nothing more." Elliot said, hoping he could convince her.

"Can't we talk on Monday?"

"You know how that's going to go. We get caught up in a case and then it's all over. It's too distracting." He knew she couldn't argue with that because it was absolutely true. "Please."

Against her better judgment, Olivia heard herself say OK. "Don't make me regret this." She said, a warning in her tone.

"I won't." He said. "Do you want to meet me for lunch or dinner?"

"What's easier for you? You're the one that has to drive into the city." She hesitated. "And what about Kathy? She's not going to wonder why you're coming in on Saturday when you don't have to work." That thought had hit her suddenly as they were talking. They had managed to avoid getting caught, and she didn't want to raise suspicion now.

"It's fine." Elliot said, hoping she would just drop it.

"How about lunch?" Olivia suggested. Somehow that seemed less like a date, although she wasn't treating lunch like it was either. She felt like she needed to make that clear. "We're just going to have lunch. OK?"

"I just want to talk to you." Elliot said. "12:30. Jason's Deli." He and Olivia at there often, so he knew the food was good and the atmosphere was loud so they could talk without people listening in on their conversation.

"OK. I'll see you then." Olivia said, hanging up the phone.

She headed towards the coffee shop, knowing that she was going to get a grilling from Casey. She had told her that she'd broken things off with Elliot, and as always, Casey was supportive. But Olivia had been a little surprised that Casey told her she thought it was a mistake. That Olivia should push Elliot to leave Kathy because it was clear he wasn't happy. Olivia had shut that line of conversation down right away. She made it clear to Casey that she wasn't going to do that…that she would _never_ do that. If Elliot wanted out of his marriage, that was his decision to make. She let out a heavy sigh as she walked in to the coffee shop.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was nervous as he approached the deli. It had been a long morning with time to kill before he met up with her, so he'd had too much time to think about things. When he got there, he didn't see her anywhere, so he grabbed a booth in the corner. He sat facing the door so he could see her when she walked in. He had been there about ten minutes when she walked in and he smiled when he saw her. Her cheeks were rosy for the cold air outside, and her hair fell in waves around her face. She pulled off her gloves as she looked around and she gave him a big smile when she spotted him. She made her way towards him and he felt a strange sense of happiness settle over him as he watched her progress. This could be his life…and he felt a pang in his chest at the thought of it.

He stood up as she reached the table, and took her coat from her. She gave him an odd look but thanked him as she slid into the booth.

"Good to see you" Elliot said as he sat down across from her. "You look great." And he meant it. She was wearing a soft blue sweater that looked great against her dark skin, and with her wavy hair and her flushed cheeks, she looked stunning as always. He wanted to lean over and kiss her glossed lips but he took a deep breath instead. He felt like a boy with a crush on a teenaged girl…his emotions were all over the place. He knew it was because he had settled things with Kathy and was free to do what he wanted…but she could still say no and crush him.

"You just saw me yesterday." Olivia said, laughing. She could see such a look of sincerity in his eyes and it disarmed her a little. Which is exactly why she wanted to meet in a public place. She knew those baby blues and that Stabler charm focused on her would weaken her defenses.

"I know. But it's been a crazy week and we haven't really had a chance to talk."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah." She had secretly been glad they hadn't had a chance to talk. She didn't know what else there was to say. She still wanted him…more than he would ever know or that she would ever admit to. Being with him was amazing. But even though it was a short period of time, it had become harder and harder when he was gone and she knew if they carried on, it would only get worse. She couldn't allow herself to get so dependent on him…to need him too much. She let out a sigh. Things were better this way.

Elliot could sense her discomfort and was about to say something to her when the waitress walked up. Elliot leaned back in his seat while the waitress told them about the daily specials. He kept one eye on Olivia, and could see her twisting the ends of her hair in her fingers. It was a sure sign that she was nervous, and it struck him that this was affecting her just as much as it was him.

They placed their orders and Elliot decided to divert the conversation back to safer ground, so that hopefully they could both calm down from their case of nerves. He asked her about the gym and her normal Saturday routine and she seemed to settle in as she sipped her coffee and told him a funny story about their yoga instructor at the gym. She then told him a story Casey had relayed about a disastrous blind date she'd been on and Elliot smiled when she started laughing. Her smile always lightened up her whole face and he loved to see her like this. He waved the waitress over to ask her for more coffee when he heard her laugh end abruptly. He looked over at her and saw a look of surprise on her face, and he looked around, wondering what had caused the sudden change in her demeanor. Seeing nothing, he looked back at her and saw she was staring.

"Liv. What is it?"

"Elliot." She said her tone barely a whisper. "Where's your ring?


	19. Chapter 19

That shiny gold band was a constant reminder of her partner's marital status; a sign that for so long meant hands off. Keep your feelings to yourself. Create rules and boundaries to define your relationship. Don't cross the line.

Until they did.

She couldn't wrap her mind about the fact that it was gone. It scared the shit out of her.

"Elliot." She said, her tone barely a whisper. "Where's your ring?"

Elliot was surprised. He hadn't expected her to notice that small detail, and now he was caught off guard. He decided there was no other way to break the news to her except head on.

"I left Kathy."

"Wh…what?"

"We're getting a divorce."

Olivia simply stared at him, blinking her eyes and trying to comprehend what he was saying. A million questions were running through her mind. She didn't even know where to start.

"Liv." Elliot said reaching for her hands that were resting on the table. "Say something."

"Does she know…" she choked out, not even forming it as a question.

"Yes."

Olivia let out a long breath, pulling her hands out from under Elliot's. She leaned back in her seat.

"Say something." Elliot said. He couldn't read her expression and he had no idea what was going through her mind right now.

"How could you tell her without talking to me first?"

Now it was Elliot's turn to be surprised. Of all of the things she could have said, that was the one thing he hadn't expected. He furrowed his brow. "What?"

She leaned in and lowered her voice. "You told her we were having an affair? Oh my God. It's out there now. She could tell Cragen…she can tell anyone."

Elliot reached for her hands again but she pulled them back into her lap. He leaned forward on the table instead, trying to make eye contact with her. "It's going to be OK."

She put a hand up to cover her mouth as she continued to think about it. "Oh my god. Everyone's going to think we've been sleeping together for years. Everyone is going to think I'm the reason you're getting divorced." Her eyes were darting all over and then the focused on Elliot's. "Oh my God. I _am_ the reason you're getting divorced."

Elliot could see her breathing had accelerated, almost as if she were starting to panic. "No. Stop. Liv." He reached out for her again but couldn't reach her from across the table. "Look at me."

Her eyes focused back on him, her heart hammering in her chest.

"You know that's not true. Kathy and I have been over for a while."

"But you said…" she struggled to get the words out. "You said this has been building for a while. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be married."

"You can't think like that." He wanted to say that if he had still been in love with Kathy he wouldn't have fallen in love with her, but he didn't honestly think that was true. "We're meant to be together. I've never loved anyone like I love you."

Olivia looked at him, her eyes moving back and forth between his. She knew how hard it was for Elliot to share emotions, but she could see the sincerity there.

"But everyone will think that the rumors are true. They won't understand."

"Who cares?" he said.

"What?" Olivia couldn't believe he was taking it so lightly.

"People think we've been sleeping together for years…they're either going to believe us or they're not. There's nothing we can do about it."

"But Kathy…your kids."

Elliot let out a heavy sigh. "I think Kathy believed me when I told her we haven't been sleeping together for long. And we didn't say anything to the kids. I wanted to see what was going to happen before we said anything to them."

"What was going to happen?" Olivia said with a puzzled expression her face. "You mean with Kathy?"

Elliot let out a huff. "No! With you. With us." He leaned back towards her. "For some reason, I thought you might freak out a little." He gave her a small smile as he saw the scowl on her face.

"I'm just…You just caught me off-guard. You didn't say anything all week." Olivia thought back to his behavior…his standoff behavior…and it all started to make sense. "When did all of this happen?"

Just as the words were out of her mouth, their waitress came back to refill their coffee and see if they wanted to order. Elliot looked at Olivia and raised an eyebrow. She nodded and gave the waitress her order and Elliot sighed a breath of relief, taking that as a good sign.

He proceeded to tell her about the argument he and Kathy had gotten into on Sunday and how it had turned into a discussion about the state of their marriage. He didn't gloss over anything, wanting to be honest with her about Kathy's questions, including their conversation about her. Olivia didn't say a thing. She just let him talk. He told her about the conversation with the kids, giving her the same level of detail. The only thing he didn't tell her about was his new living arrangements. For some reason, he wanted to show her that in person.

"So. Here we are." He said in summary. Their food came just as he finished up and there was a moment of silence while she asked if there was anything else they needed. They both shook their heads and she left.

"So. How are you feeling about everything?" Olivia said as she poked her chicken salad with her fork.

"Honestly? I feel like a huge weight had been lifted." He saw he expression on Olivia's face, and realized she thought he meant the guilt over their affair. "I wasn't happy Liv. Not for a long time. And now I feel like there is all of his possibility." He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I feel like I might have a shot at being happy."

"You don't think you're going to miss your kids?"

"Of course I'm going to miss them. But the reality is that I haven't been spending as much time with them as I should anyway. So maybe now I can work harder at that. Now that I don't have all of the tension at home. All the arguments. Ya' know?"

She didn't say anything and he could see that she was struggling.

"It's going to be OK. Kathy's going to be OK, and the kids are going to be fine and its exactly what had to happen. It was time."

Olivia nodded and looked down at her food. Elliot could see that she was still trying to process everything he was telling her, and that she hadn't eaten a single bite.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked. "I have something I want to show you."

She raised an eyebrow at him, and he was happy to see that she still retained her sense of humor. "Funny." He slid out of the booth and tossed some money on the table. He grabbed her hand as she slid out of her seat. "Let's go."

She grabbed her coat as they walked out, Elliot never letting go of her hand.

They walked a block or so before she dropped Elliot's hand so she could slip on her coat. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"You'll see." He said, grabbing her hand again as he fell into sync next to her.

"Are we walking?" The wind had picked up and she shivered slightly, reaching to pull her gloves from her pocket with her free hand.

"It's not far." Elliot said, pulling her closer and tucking her next to him with one arm. Olivia looked around, scanning the people passing them by. She couldn't believe she was snuggled into Elliot walking down the street like millions of couples did every day. Except that they weren't a couple. She didn't know what they were.

 _Holy hell._

 _Elliot had left his wife. He was getting a divorce._

The reality of it slammed into her and her stride faltered slightly, forcing Elliot to stop next to her. He looked over at her and saw the stricken look on her face. "Are you OK? What happened?" He looked down at the ground, thinking she must have tripped or something.

"I…" She looked up at him. "You're getting a divorce."

Elliot drew his brows together. "Yeah. That's what we've been talking about."

"I know. I just…" She drew in a sharp breath. _This is really happening_. She felt like all of the dreams she'd had…the thoughts of a future…a family…was all within her grasp. She closed her eyes. She had to reel in her emotions. He hadn't said anything about a future with her…about wanting any of that. "I'm OK. I'm sorry." She nodded her head towards the sidewalk ahead of them. "Let's just keep going."

Elliot hesitated a moment longer, wanting to ask her what was going through her head but he thought better of it. He wanted to talk to her about the future and he wanted to do it in the privacy of his apartment.

The fell back in stride and walked for another 14 blocks before Elliot stopped in front of an old brownstone with stairs leading up to a wide door.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"This is my new place." Elliot said. "I have an apartment here."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. It had occurred to her that he would have to find a place to live, but she had assumed it would be in Queens. Close to the kids. "You're living in the city?"

"Yeah. I figured it was closer to work, since I'm there all of the time. And closer to Kathleen and Maureen." _And you._

"Oh." Was the only thing she could think to say. Her mind was all over the place; Elliot was living less than a mile from her.

"Will you come inside?" he asked.

Olivia could see that he was excited to show her his apartment. She knew this was a big change for him. "Of course." She said, giving him a big smile. "I'd love to see it."

Elliot walked up the stairs, tugging her behind him. He unlocked the front door and they were in a small vestibule. He unlocked another door and then walked down the hall. Olivia looked around, noticing that the place looked newly renovated.

"This looks nice." She said.

"I'm just down the hall." He walked down to the apartment at the end of the hall and unlocked the door. "It's kind of small but it's all I could afford."

She gave him a big smile. _Was he trying to impress her?_

He opened the door and stood to the side, motioning for her to enter ahead of him. She walked in and saw a small kitchen off to her left, and the living room straight ahead. Sunlight was streaming in a window on the far wall and she walked into the room. She saw a dark brown couch and an oversized chair positioned in front of an old fieldstone fireplace. She saw a TV on a table in the corner and a solitary floor lamp next to the couch. She walked over to the fireplace and looked at the photos on the mantle. There were graduation photos of Kathleen and Maureen, and recent school photos of Dick and Liz. There was also a photo of the four kids together. Off to the far right, she saw a photo of her and Elliot, and she pulled it down to look at it. It was an older photo taken at some bar. She remembered that night. Everyone was having a good time and Elliot had thrown an arm around her and pulled her close and someone had snapped a photo. At that time, it was innocent, but she saw the smiles on their faces and now she wondered. Had she always known Elliot was going to be someone special in her life?

"Do you remember that night?" Elliot asked, and she realized he had followed her into the room.

She put the photo back on the mantle and turned around, giving him a small smile. "Yes. I do."

"Seems like a long time ago."

Olivia nodded. "Yes, it does. It was." She looked around. "This is nice."

"Thanks." He motioned down a small hallway. "There are two bedrooms and a bathroom down the hall. I had to have an extra bedroom for the kids."

"You've worked out a schedule for them to stay with you?"

"Not yet. But we will." He pointed towards the couch. "I don't have much furniture yet, but I have what I need."

"El. It looks great." She walked over and put a hand on his arm. "I mean it." She wasn't sure why he had been so nervous to show her the place, and she still wasn't sure what he was thinking. She knew he had feelings for her but his behavior this last week made her think that maybe he wanted some space. That he wasn't ready to move forward. He'd been married all of his adult life…maybe he needed some time to himself. She didn't want to make any assumptions. "You'll add things here and there and make it your own." She laughed. "I'll buy you a plant."

Elliot put both hands on her biceps. "Very funny. But seriously, do you think you could see yourself spending some time here?"

Olivia was pleasantly surprised by the question but tried not to show it. She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe."

Elliot squeezed her biceps lightly. "Maybe?"

She pulled out of his grasp and moved over towards the windows. She looked out for a second, and then turned and saw him standing where she had left him. "What am I doing here Elliot? What are you asking me?" She had to be certain. She wanted to hear him say it.

Elliot moved closer, but stopped a few feet away, looking at her standing there with a wary expression on her face. He knew that having an affair with him and then having to break it off had been painful for her. It was the reason he had made the decisions he had. To end things with Kathy and to get his life together. He felt like he was moving in the right direction. He took a few more steps so he was mere inches from her. He reached out with his right hand and cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb against her cheek.

"You told me that I couldn't tell you that I loved you while I was married to someone else." He felt her breath hitch. "And technically, I'm still married. But soon. Very soon. I'm going to tell you how much I love you. And I'm hoping you'll tell me that you love me too."

"Elliot." She whispered. That wasn't what she had expected to hear, but she could see the intensity in his eyes. She snaked her hand around his head and pulled his face to hers. She pressed her lips against his and closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his mouth against hers. Elliot ran his hand into her hair and tilted his head, deepening the kiss.

 _God, she had missed this_.

She moaned lightly as he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and she slid her tongue against his. She had thought that maybe she would never have this opportunity again… and now that she was here, she never wanted to stop kissing him. Elliot pressed her body up against the wall lightly as he dragged his other hand up her hip, resting is on her waist. Olivia moved her other hand against his chest, running it back and forth against the muscles there. She slid it slowly around his side and ran her hand up and down his back, pulling him against her.

Elliot groaned as he felt her breasts push into his chest, and he could feel himself starting to harden against her hip. She was kissing him harder now, making small sounds as their tongues tangled together. He ran his hands down her shoulders and her arms, letting his fingers brush the sides of her breasts. She pushed her hips against him and he dug his fingers into her waist. He let out a small sound and then broke the kiss, pulling his body from hers.

Olivia was breathing heavily and she looked at Elliot as he looked into her eyes. She could see his desire and she knew he would see the same in hers. She gave him a seductive smile and leaned in to kiss him again, but he held her with his hands on her waist.

"No." he said quietly.

"It's OK. I want to." She said, trying to pull his body against hers again. "Things are different now."

Elliot took a step back, still shaking his head slightly. "No."

Olivia was puzzled. "I don't understand." Elliot had just told her that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her. "Don't you want me?"

Elliot groaned. "Of course I do. God…how could you think that?" He scrubbed his hand over his face. "I've just done this all wrong Liv. I pushed you into having an affair with me when you told me you didn't want that. I pushed and pushed and…" He groaned again. This wasn't coming out right. "I want to go slowly. I want you to know that this is about so much more than sex."

"I know that." She said. She reached out and took his hand. "Of course I know that."

"I'm going to let you set the pace Liv." He said. He didn't want to mess this up again. "Let's have dinner tonight and we can talk more about where we go from here."

Olivia could barely believe he was turning her down, but she understood where he was coming from. He felt like he had pushed her into having an affair, and even though it wasn't true, he felt it had backfired on him. They needed to discuss what was going to happen with their jobs…with their lives…and it was probably a good idea to get that all straightened out before they jumped back into bed together. "OK. On one condition."

Elliot smiled. "OK."

"You let me cook dinner for you."

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her.

"And don't you dare make any cracks about me cooking or you'll get nothing."

"I can take you out."

"You're getting divorced El. You can't afford to take me out."

Elliot laughed. "OK. Deal." He didn't care where or what the ate, just as long as he got to spend time with her. He grabbed her hands and pulled her away from the windows and moved towards the door.

"You're kicking me out?" she asked, surprised as he grabbed her coat off the back of the chair.

"I'm walking you home."

Olivia couldn't help but be surprised. He was taking this very seriously. "Wow. OK." She slipped her coat on. "I can get home by myself." She lifted her hair over her collar.

Elliot grabbed his coat and slipped it on. "Nope. I'm walking you." He leaned in and kissed her. "I'll feel better if I know you got home safely."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, but she let it slide. He was obviously feeling chivalrous, and while she didn't allow that very often, it was kind of sweet.

Elliot caught the small smile on her face and he knew she was cutting him some slack. He laughed. "I know you can still kick my ass." He kissed her cheek. "But thanks for letting me walk you home." He opened up the door and let her through before following her out.

The walk to her apartment only took about 15 minutes, and they didn't say much along the way. It reminded Olivia of the night this entire thing had started. A walk home and a kiss in front of her building. It seemed things had come full circle.

They reached her apartment building and Olivia stepped up on the next step, just like she had so many weeks ago. "You aren't going to try to kiss me are you?" she asked.

Elliot cocked his head slightly and gave her a small smile. "I'm not going to try…" He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, and pressed his mouth against hers. He ran one hand up to the back of her head and deepened the kiss, and in that moment, the only thing Olivia could think about was getting him upstairs into her apartment. She moaned against his mouth and at that moment, he broke the kiss and stepped back. He had a cocky grin on his face.

He raised a hand as he walked away, feeling the happiest he'd been in a long time. "See you at 730."


	20. Chapter 20

Olivia watched Elliot walk away, a smile on her face. As she watched she realized he wasn't really walking…that was a swagger. _Cocky bastard_. She shook her head and smiled again. She knew he had the package to back up that attitude.

That thought alone made her heart beat a little faster. It made her think about kissing him earlier that day. She couldn't believe he had actually sent her home.

She walked back into her building and up to her apartment, Elliot still on her mind. She started to think about dinner…and she decided she really wasn't in the mood to cook. Why had she offered? She looked in her refrigerator and realized that she was going to have to go to the store. _Damn_.

She'd think about that a little later. First she had to decide what she was going to wear. She walked into her room and opened her closet trying to figure out what you wear to dinner with a man who has gone from partner to best friend to lover…

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot had just gotten out of the shower when he heard his phone buzz with an incoming call. He wrapped the towel around his waist and looked at the time. He saw it was almost 630, and that the call was from Olivia. He answered right away.

"Hey." She said. "I changed my mind about dinner."

Elliot felt his heart sink a little but before he could reply, she spoke again.

"I want to go out."

He shook his head, a smile on his face. "Whatever you want."

"My treat."

"No way."

"I thought you said we were going to do things my way?" she said, laughing lightly.

"I don't think that's what I said. I think I said I was going to let you set the pace"

"So I'm in charge."

Elliot laughed. "You're right. You're in charge."

"That's more like it." She said. "So do you have any wine?"

"I have beer."

"OK. So I'm going to be at your place at 7. We'll have a beer and then we'll go to dinner."

"I can pick you up." Elliot offered.

"What happened to doing things my way?"

Elliot let out a sigh and smiled. Olivia was strong willed; their relationship was going to be a constant battle for dominance. And that's exactly how he wanted it.

"OK. OK. I'll see you here at 7."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot heard the buzzer at exactly 7. He looked around the apartment quickly, wishing he had some candles or something to make the room a little more romantic. He had the old fireplace going and the lamp on low. It was the best he could do right now.

He heard a light knock on the door on the door and he opened it quickly, not wanting to make her wait. He drew in a breath when he saw her standing there. She had a bottle of wine dangling from her hand and two wine glasses in the other. His eyes drank her in from head to toe. Her hair was loose and wavy, her eyes dark and her lips perfectly glossed. She was wearing a coat belted at the waist, and he could see the bottom of a black dress barely peeking below it, right above her knees. Her long legs were bare and ended in a pair of spiky red heels. His eyes roved back up her body, and he saw the flush of her cheeks as his eyes met hers.

"You look amazing." He said, his tone almost reverent. _Jesus_. Amazing didn't even begin to describe how she looked right now.

"Are you going to invite me in?" she asked, her eyebrows raised and a small smile on her face, happy that she had the intended effect on him.

"Oh. Sorry." Elliot was a little flustered. He stepped aside to let her in. She turned towards him as he closed the door. "I hope you don't mind the change in plans." She said, dropping her tone a little lower than usual.

"No. Whatever you want Liv." He said, remembering their earlier conversation. "You're in charge." He laughed.

She held out the bottle of wine and glasses towards him. "Here's a little housewarming gift."

"I guess you didn't want beer." He said, a slight bit of sarcasm in his tone. He turned and started walking towards the kitchen with the wine bottle and glasses in hand. "You should have told me and I could have run out and gotten some wine." He proceeded to open the wine and he heard her move into the living room.

Olivia had butterflies in her stomach as she walked into the dimly lit room. She unbuckled her trench coat and pulled it off, settling it on the back of the chair. She moved over to the fireplace and watched the flames dance and lick at the wood.

Elliot walked out of the kitchen and into the room with two glasses of wine, and he paused when he saw her standing there. She was standing at a slight angle, so he got a good look at her profile. She hadn't seen him and so he took a moment to take her in. She was wearing a simple black dress but it fit her perfectly, showing off her long legs and the curve of her hips and breasts. The firelight made her skin glow and he was completely overwhelmed by how much he absolutely loved the woman standing there. It was the first time he hadn't thought about her as his partner…his friend…or any other of the labels he associated her with. This was Olivia. A woman he was deeply, madly in love with and knew he had made the right decision. He wanted to know everything about her…because he knew there was so much that he didn't know even after all of these years together.

She caught him staring them and turned towards him, giving him a small smile. She saw an expression on his face that she didn't recognize and it scared her a little to think that there was a side of Elliot she didn't know. He looked so devastatingly sexy right now, standing in charcoal gray slacks and a blue, V-neck sweater. She could see the definition of his chest and his arms and she felt the butterflies once again as she thought of those arms wrapped around her; his body pressed up against her.

Elliot moved towards her and she couldn't tear her eyes away from his, watching the firelight reflected in eyes that seemed shades darker than usual.

He handed her a glass of wine and he could see her hand was trembling slightly. He gave her a slightly puzzled look. "You're trembling." He took the wine glass back from her and set them both on the mantle. He placed his hands gently on her shoulders, covering the thin straps of her dress. With her heels, she was almost the same height and he looked into her eyes. "Are you OK?"

She sucked her bottom lip in under her front teeth and took in a deep breath, trying to settle her nerves. _Why was she so goddamned nervous?_ She wanted to tell him how she was feeling but she couldn't seem to get the words out, even though she had been thinking about this moment all afternoon.

"Just say it Liv."

 _God, he knew her so well_. "I'm scared."

Elliot knit his brows together. "You're scared? Of what?"

"Of you." She sputtered out and she knew he didn't understand what she was trying to tell him. Things seemed to be so simple for him.

"Of me?" He rubbed his thumbs along her shoulders. "I don't…"

"Not of you. Of this. Of us. Of how much I want this."

Elliot started to interrupt but she wouldn't let him. She had to get all of this out. She pulled away from him and turned back towards the fire, her arms stretched out as she braced herself on the mantle. She could feel Elliot hovering behind her and she hoped he would let her say what she came to say. He held his ground and she took in another deep breath.

"You have to know how I feel Elliot. I never wanted to have an affair with you. But it wasn't just because I didn't want to be the other woman. It was that I didn't want to _know_. I knew once we crossed that line, I couldn't go back. It killed me to break it off. _Killed me_. And I wished we had never had even the briefest relationship because it was everything I thought it would be. And it gave me a glimpse of how things could have been if we'd met in another time. A glimpse of everything I wanted. The intensity of it…of how _right_ it seemed… scared the shit out of me."

Elliot moved towards her. "Please don't." she pleased. "It scares me how much I feel…and how much I feel like I _need_ you. Like there's no one else for me. I had to break it off because I knew it would only get worse." She took another deep breath and she could feel a tear slip down her cheek. "I have never needed anyone in my life like that. Like this."

She turned to face him then and Elliot was startled at the tears on her lashes and the trail down her cheeks. Olivia never let anyone see her in this vulnerable state and he knew this was really hard for her. That she was baring her soul to him and he was in awe of her.

"When you said you left Kathy I was so happy and felt so guilty but then panic set in. Sheer panic because I wanted this so desperately. But things never work out for me. And you have to know that my first instinct always is to push people away. Hurt them before I get hurt."

Elliot frowned then because had she really come over here to tell him that she didn't want to take things any farther with him? He tried to take in everything she had said but he still wasn't sure what she was saying. "Help me out here. What, exactly, are you telling me?"

Olivia gave him a small smile then, her nerves settling a little now that she had gotten that off her chest. She saw Elliot looked slightly confused and slightly terrified and she realized he was probably just as nervous and scared as she was…he had left his wife and family and after her confession, he might be thinking she had no intent to pursue this with him.

She reached out then and put a hand on his bicep. "So I really appreciate that at some level, you know that and you slowed things down. That you said we could take things at my pace. It tells me that you know me just as well as I know myself." She bit into her bottom lip again and her eyes moved from his eyes to his mouth and back again. She moved a little closer and moved her other hand up to his other arm. She let out a breathy sound then and dropped her tone. "And as scared as I am, I want this with you." She leaned in and kissed him, her lips pressing against him gently. Before he could even register the kiss, she had pulled back and dropped her arms. He watched as she reached for the side zipper of her dress and pulled it down and then grabbed the straps of her dress and dragged them down her arms, letting her dress fall in a pool at her ankles. "And I don't want to go out to dinner tonight."

Elliot groaned inwardly as he saw her standing there in a black satin bra with a small swatch of black satin at the tops of her thighs. Her skin glowed with the light from the fire and he felt himself starting to respond to her. He knew she would always have this effect on him; he wanted to devour her on the spot.

"God Liv." It came out as a moan.

Olivia's cheeks flushed slightly at his open appraisal of her, even though she had anticipated it. She ducked her head slightly and looked up at him through her long, dark lashes.

Elliot saw her reaction and knew it meant she was slightly embarrassed at his focus on her, but it only made her look sexier.

He had stood rooted in place, unable to move, and her smile faltered slightly as she started to feel self-conscious. She crossed her arms under her breasts, as if she was trying to cover herself slightly.

"No." Elliot said, his voice cracking slightly. He moved and was there in two strides. "No." He said, grabbing her arms and placing them on his hips. He leaned in and whispered into her ear. "You're beautiful Olivia, and if I don't tell you that often enough then shame on me."

He pulled back and ran his hands up her arms and over her shoulders before running them through her hair, holding her head gently in his hands. He pulled her towards him slightly and pressed his lips gently against hers, letting out a small sigh. He had missed kissing her so damn much.

"You have to know this scares me as much as it does you." He said quietly as his lips hovered over hers. "Because I'm in as deep as you are. Maybe more." He kissed her again, their mouths pressing together gently, with nothing urgent or passionate about it. It was a kiss between two people that knew now that there would be many more between them.

He slid one hand to the back of her head as he pressed his mouth over hers again, deepening the kiss as he slid his other hand downwards until he reached the small of her back. He pulled her body against his gently as his tongue touched hers.

Olivia ran her hands up his back, tugging at his sweater. "Take it off" she rasped when his mouth left hers. Elliot released her and pulled his sweater up and over his head. He stood there and looked at her, her lips slightly swollen and her hair messed up from his hands. He was impossibly hard and wanted to take her there on the floor in front of the fireplace. But he felt like this was a new beginning for them; he wanted this to be special. He wanted it to be sweet and slow; to relish and revere every inch of her body before marking her as his own once and for all…forever.

"Liv." He said, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver through her body. "Tell me this is it for you." Because the words he had spoken just a few minutes earlier were true. She was it for him; and if she wasn't ready…if she ever left him…it would annihilate him.

Her breath caught at his words; sensing the deep emotion behind them. This was a side of Elliot she definitely never saw. She wondered if he had ever showed this vulnerability to anyone. "You've always been the one Elliot. I'm yours…there is no one else."

That was all that he needed to hear. He reached down and scooped her up bridal style. Olivia let out a small cry of surprise as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She dropped her mouth against his, pulling his bottom lip between hers and then nipping lightly. She drove her tongue into his mouth as she placed one hand through his cropped hair and held his mouth against hers. Elliot knocked into the wall and she laughed into his mouth and Elliot couldn't help but smile. She pulled back then, laughing lightly as he knocked into the doorframe of his bedroom.

"Sorry." He said breathlessly, just anxious to get her in to bed. He set her down gently on the bed and quickly stood back and took of his pants. He looked over at Olivia and saw her eyeing him up and down as she lay on her back, her legs crossed at the ankles and her arms resting above her head.

Olivia let her eyes trace over his body. The man was solid muscle and her eyes trailed down his chest to his abdomen…following the deep muscles disappearing into the waistband of his underwear. Her thighs clenched together when she saw his hard length beneath his boxer briefs. She felt a rush of heat at the thought of him inside of her; it seemed like it had been an eternity. Elliot started moving toward the bed but she put up a hand as she propped herself up on her side. "Take them off." She commanded.

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her but then slid his fingers into the waistband and pushed them down. He kicked them off when they rested at his ankles and he stood there and stared at her. Olivia licked her lips and his dock throbbed with want. _That damn mouth_.

"Come here." She said, her voice husky and her lids lowered as she gave him a sultry smile. She fell on her back again and watched as Elliot went to the foot of the bed. He crawled up, placing kisses on the inside of her ankle and up her shin as he ran his hand up the other leg. He forced her legs apart slightly and he looked up at Olivia periodically as he kissed his way up her right leg, his hand trailing up her left. He saw her watching him, her eyes dark and her bottom lip between her teeth. He could feel her body tense in anticipation and she fisted the sheets at her side.

"Relax." He whispered as he kissed her inner thigh.

Olivia could feel his warm breath against her wet core, and she knew her panties were dripping. She hitched her breath, expecting him to place his mouth over her but he moved up her hip, sucking lightly at the skin at her hip and then moving his mouth over her abdomen and up under her breasts. He kissed his way up between her breasts and then her collarbone and then she felt his hard length hit her square between her legs and she let out a small grunt as her body jolted at the contact.

 _God he was going to kill her slowly_. This foreplay was torturous…she thought she might just come with this slow tease.

She spread her legs slightly and now he was rocking into her slowly, knocking her clit with each thrust of his body. She let out a long, low moan and Elliot ran his tongue up her jaw to her ear. "You taste good enough to eat." He whispered in her ear and if she wasn't on the edge right now she would almost laugh at such a corny line coming from him. But she did feel like he was eating her alive…devouring her. And she wanted more.

He moved his mouth to hers and continued rocking against her. Her panties were so wet that they were practically non-existent. As if reading her thoughts, he reached down and pushed them to the side, running his fingers through her folds and knocking her clit with his fingers.

She let out a gasp, and he pulled his hands away, rubbing his erection against her instead. She gasped loudly as he continued moving against her. He slid his hand back up her body until he was grasping her breast in his hand. His mouth was at her neck and she could feel him sucking and biting the skin there and she knew he was marking her. Her hands left the sheets as she moved them around his back and she dragged her short fingernails up and down his back, digging them into his shoulder blades as she hissed into the top of his head.

He dragged her bra strap down her arm until her breast was revealed, and he trailed his tongue down to her erect nipple, circling it with his tongue before he bit down lightly. Olivia hissed again and her hips bucked up against him.

"Elliot." She hissed. God this man was driving her fucking insane…her entire body was on fire and she could feel the tremble…the slow build…she was going to come hard.

He dragged the other bra strap down and ran his mouth over her other breast, sucking and teasing her. He ran a hand beneath her trying to reach the clasp, and Olivia lifted up slightly. He unclasped it expertly and ripped the bra from her body. He sat up slightly then, forcing Olivia's hands to drop. His lower body had stilled, and Olivia lifted up her hips, not wanting to break contact.

"Goddamnit!" She swore, but it came out as a loud rasp. She was so close and now he stops?

Elliot grinned down at her and saw the frustration on her face. His eyes roved down from hers, taking in her flushed skin and her peaked nipples, and the marks he'd left on her. He growled as he lowered himself on top of her again, grabbing one breast roughly as he devoured her mouth. He pushed her knees farther apart and rocked hard into her and she gasped loudly.

She was done. She'd had enough.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him roughly upward, forcing him to break the kiss.

"What the…?"

She let out a sound of exertion as she pushed him off of her and he landed on his back next to her. She was on him in a second, straddling him and dropping on his erection, causing a loud groan from him. She drove her tongue into his open mouth as she slid herself along the length of him. The friction of her wet panties was delicious against her sensitive skin, and against him. Elliot put his hands on her hips, trying to still her motions. "Liv." He rasped. God he was going to come without even being inside her.

She ripped her mouth from his. "Payback's a bitch isn't it?"

Suddenly, she stood up on the bed, wobbling precariously as the bed shifted. Elliot grabbed her shins to stead her and watched as she slid her fingers into the side of her panties and wiggled them down her hips, exaggerating her movements and doing it as slowly as possible.

Elliot bit his lip. He knew this was part of the payback, and he knew he couldn't complain as she was revealed to him. His dick twitched and it was all he could do to keep himself from pulling her onto the bed and driving inside of her.

She kicked off the panties and then lowered herself on top of him again. The both groaned simultaneously as he hit her wet core. She lifted herself up slightly and reached back, grasping his shaft. She slid the head of his erection back and forth across her entrance and he moaned as she started to settle herself over him. He was penetrating her slightly and he could feel the slight resistance of her body as she leaned forward slightly, bracing her hands on his abs. He closed his eyes and moved his hands to her hips. They both moaned as she lowered herself slowly along his length, her walls gripping him like a vise.

She pushed herself up off his abs and he went even deeper. He groaned and held her in place with his hands, and she could feel every inch of him. " _Fuck_." She moaned. She threw her head back and reached behind her, placing her hands on Elliot's thighs. "God, you are so deep." She moaned.

Elliot ran his hands up her sides and pulled her forward again, pressing his mouth against hers and kissing her hard. Olivia pulled back and rested her hands on his chest. She lifted her hips up and then lowered herself back down just as slowly as the first time and Elliot let out a loud groan. He put his hands on her hips again and lifted her up and she let herself slide down the length of him again. She started a slow rhythm and Elliot watched as she moved up and down. The sight of him disappearing into her was so god damn erotic…her breasts were bouncing as she increased the pace. She swiveled her hips slightly and Elliot knew he was hitting the right spot because her eyes were closed and she was letting out one long string of moans each time she slid down his shaft. She was starting to falter slightly and he lifted his hips, trying to drive into her. He could tell she was close and he couldn't take it any longer…he was close too. He rolled her over without breaking contact and grabbed her thigh, opening her up to him even more. He drove himself into her hard and she gasped…her entire body was trembling violently. He thrust into her twice more before he felt her shatter around him…a string of swear words and his name on her lips.

Her walls gripped him like a vise and her orgasm trigger his…his forehead dropped to her shoulder as he released inside her. He lifted his head slightly, dragging his teeth along her shoulder and he said her name over and over again. When he had given everything he had, he pulled out slightly and rocked back into her a couple more times, eliciting a gasp from her.

Her fingernails bit into his skin and she arched her back, trying to bring him even closer to her. He collapsed against her, his body spent, and she let out a sound as he pushed the air from her lungs. He quickly propped himself up slightly, allowing her to breath as he peppered kisses along her shoulder and collarbone, and then up her jaw until his lips found hers. He kissed her hungrily as their bodies tried to come back to earth…he wished he could spend an eternity like this.

He broke the kiss and moved his mouth to her hear. "You're fucking amazing." He whispered.

Olivia laughed lightly and held his face in her hands. She gave him a small kiss. "We're amazing together." She said.

Elliot smiled down at her. "You're right as usual."

"It's about time you realize that." She said playfully. She pushed her hips up slightly. "Now I need you to do something for me." She said breathily.

"Anything." He said, and he meant it.

"I need you to get off of me. I can barely breath."

Elliot laughed loudly and Olivia loved the sound of it as it filled the room. He pulled himself out gently and then dropped on the bed beside her. He pulled her towards him and in two seconds, her body was sprawled out on top of his. She folded her arms across his chest, just above her breasts, so she could look into this eyes.

She had a small smile on her face. "I'm glad you didn't have your heart set on going out to dinner."

"Well, I kind of did." He teased.

"We can still go out." She said starting to push herself up and off his body.

He pulled her back down, loving the feel of her naked body against his. "Not a chance in hell." He said. "I've got you right where I want you." He grinned.

"Well, we're going to have to get out of bed at some point." She said, smiling back.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." He joked again. He ran his hands up and down her back, letting them trail down her ass and giving her a small squeeze before he let his fingers trail up her spine. She shivered slightly and he smiled again.

She propped herself up slightly and looked into his eyes. She closed her eyes momentarily, thinking about everything that had happened over the past month…and about how she had ended up here. Snuggled up against Elliot's glorious body…feeling perfectly content. Sated. Peaceful. Happy. Her eyes popped open and she saw Elliot smiling up at her.

She ran a hand up and cupped his cheek. "Do you remember what you told me?"

Elliot furrowed his brow, not certain what she was referring to. He had told her lots of things.

She saw the confusion on his face. She ran her thumb over his mouth and swallowed hard. "You told me that one day…"

Elliot smiled. "I love you Olivia."

Olivia returned the smile, happy that she could final say it back. "I love you too."

 _The End._

Thank you to all of the people that have read this story, and to all of the wonderful people that took time to review as well. I really appreciate it. And as always, a huge thanks for my wonderful beta, _**writersrefinery.**_ I hope you'll list me as an author you follow…I'm not sure what my next story is going to be but hopefully it will be coming out soon. And as always, it will be EO!


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